You make me horny.

After two minor altercations with Chesty.
We can't be friends anymore.

....he wants to take my legs off and watch me crawl to, what I think is my safety, but is actually flesh eating insects.

Hello,
I hope we can be super best friends. There's something I want to give you. Something I think you'll like.
Chesty, you friendly chest.
PS What are your hobbies? Sometimes I like to kill people.

That's cool Chesty!
I like that too.

I've spent £30 in two days on pizza's.
That's a weeks worth of food, probably longer.
Gah.

But I love it so good.

WE KNOW THEY'RE ALL YOU, YOU DUMB BITCH YOU'VE USED THE SAME FUCKING IHATEYOUJULIA LINK!

What the almighty FUCK is wrong with you?!

So I'm knocking one out to Broke Straight Guys.
Watching this pretty fit video.
When it occurs to me.
This guy is getting fucked in the ass, for the first time, it's all good.
No pain.
No discomfort.
And I realise.
It's all a lie.

I hate everything!