Russ is buying me a tattoo for my birthday :]
Well, paying for one of mine :p
What to get, what to get......hmmm.

There isn't enough nudity on this site.
It makes my penis sad.

I've gotten drunk at work, again.
I should cut this crap out.
Surely I'll get fired or some shit.
Well, I work a bar, so its not like it isn't expected that the staff are a little tipsy.

I'm tired, I miss Russ, and that dude is fucking me off so bad.

Ugh, stop leeching onto Dimbles, she's said no, and no chance.
We've all told you.
Stop crying too, you're the only straight dude that works here, and you spend more time crying than a bitch winning an Oscar.
Fuck.

So I took the darling other half to see the parentals this weekend.
It went well!
We spent Valentines day drunk and making out :]

Ah good times.

Anywhore, I've decided my life is shit.
My own doing, but its shit.
So it's time for a change.
I've applied to a million new jobs, and have set in motion the course for a more money filled life.
Hopefully.

Also, where has the girl gone who wrote all the diaries for her master?
I loved her, she was my anti-drug.

So, seeing as everyone seems to be ranting over Valentines day being the bastard child of Satan or whatever. I, quite enjoy it.
It's a day for telling those you love, you love them.
This doesn't have to be people who're sucking your dick.
It can be friends, family, work colleagues.
Anyone you love.
So fuck it, if you're single.
Go out this v
Valentines day, buy your best friend some roses.
Go see your Grandparents.
Anything.
Just share the love that is meant to be shared this Valentines day :]

I want Chris Cunningham's babies.
My Nan is on Facebook and lists her favourite music as Slipknot.
I'm going back to college next week.
FUCK! IN TWO DAYS!
I need to start remembering shit.
The 'photography' section of the local newspaper offends me.
They wouldn't know an arty photograph is Nick Knight sent his stuff to them.
Dickheads.

"**edit, I'm gonna get you after work, I am going to rape you"
"Darling, what you concider rape, would be foreplay to me and do you, really, want to get me excited?"

**edit= my real name, no you can't have it, go away.

Also, what I heard at work today.

After being told to shave my facial fuzz, I won't lie to myself, it's not hair, and cut my hair off because it's ugly.

I'm sorry, but you appear to be missing all of your teeth.
Your arguement is invalid.

Also, why do people go to me "God, I need a haircut" when they barely have 2 inches of hair?
Do they realise my hair is to my armpits? Or does my hair remind them, their hair is long.

I'm gonna go to work with extentions in, see what happens then.
I'd get fired.
That's what'd happen.

Well, not fired.
Sent home.
To upstairs.
....and told to behave, or no Christmas party for me.




/sigh

Who the crap has a pet chimp anyway?
So MJ circa 1980's.

I thought micro pigs were in now?

Seriously, I hate straight cock teases. Yeah, just make out with me for half an hour then tell me its going no farther. That's fair. Also, so, so drunk right now. Blurgh.

Our manager has the Bosses in her ass about how lazy she is, so she's taking it out on the rest of the staff.
She's fucked them all over by cancelling Halloween for the 1st of November (When everyone could go out and have fun, as it's a Sunday) and made it the 31st of October instead. Yeah, I realise that's when Halloween IS but, having it on Saturday means everyone is stuck behind the bar.
Except me, I booked it off months ago.

She's just getting angry she can't play with us anymore, you know, because she decided to take on a harder job, with more hours, and just keeps moaning about how much she has to do.
I'd kill for better pay, more hours, more responsibility and over that, respect from the Bosses.
Well, she's managed to lose all the respect we had for her. All of us hate her now.

AND she's STILL fucking lazy!

I bought new beautiful shoes.
Black patent and grey, with such wonderfully thick soles (makes me taller)
But oh god, they hurt so much!
I almost cried walking in them.

I'm so lost.
My Halloween costume got discontinued, just when I get the money to afford it and shipping together.
Not even fun.

So now my plans are fucked and I need to figure out what to do now, I've got 3 weeks to do it in.

I'm thinking of being the Mad Hatter, but, I dunno, it's so boring and overdone, I need to do something amazing to it to make it cool.
But fucking whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

So I took control of Events Management at work.
Haha.

It's official, I'm taking over Her job.
Fuck Her, she's about as much use as a split fucking condom.

Taking her old room, taking her job.
Then, talking to the bosses about bonus pay, when I've done sufficiently enough to qualify to even ask for it.

But, being a cunt aside, I'm going to make our events fucking epic.
Not just rape the bosses, and the staff.
It's not even a joke anymore.

Apparently I dated a guy who is now on the sex offenders register for frequently sleeping with 15 year old boys.

I'm fairly certain I am neither, a 15 year old boy, or look like one.

I don't even feel bad for making him pay for everything that night.
I can't even remember what movie it is we watched.
Which is odd.

I know me and Russ watched Stardust together on our first date, and with that ginger guy years ago, we watched Robin Hood and made out.

How have I forgotten that movie with the sex offender.
Hmm.

That Nick was cute!
Blatantly need to stop being shy around him, he's adorable.

Plus, JB was out last night, and I do love him so.

I text my manager a photo of my balls.
What the fuck.

Also.
I'm drunk.
That's not good.

Also.
My new goldfish Meth, is trying to eat out my old goldfish Bastard's ass.
Goldfish into scat?
Why me?

So, I gave a customer the finger today when they asked where they can put their complaints.
Who the hell let me work with the general public?

Actually.
I'm fine, just don't annoy me, and we're good to go.
Well, I'm easily annoyed, so that's impossible to ask.

Just don't be a dick to me, and I won't be a dick to you.

I think that's fairly easy to expect?
No?
No, I guess not.

Ah well.

God I'm excited for Sunday night, it's Mistress' Hen Party, and She's being handcuffed to me.
I'm blatantly going to get her so damned drunk, She'll be dribbling.
But, She's expecting it.
I got a good wage this week, too.
So maybe Bastard can have some friends, instead of swimming around his tank all lonely and crap.