Its time to go mia and go to los angeles for a few days. Just needed time to think. Maybe I'll take some pics on my little vacation of absence.

I don't know whether to cry or smash my fist through a wall. I'm about two minutes and one meltdown from packing my shit and getting out if orange county. People can go fuck themselves last time I'm doing anything for people out here I'll swear my life on it. I really don't want to bring out crazy eyes but i will.

Listening to early eminem and forgot how much he spoke to me in high school when i was a freshman. When i felt awkward, ugly and fat. He and system of a down gave me confidence and the power to not care what people thought of me and hold my head high. I feel for kids these days, you never forget what people said about you or what hell they put you thru. Oddly enough the same kids that treated me like dirt now get ahold of me. The girls want to be my friend, and say they are envious, the guys tell me I'm beautiful and hot and missed their chance. I find it funny, and mostly odd. If only they knew.. the same people who made me want to die are now begging for my attention. What do they say? A elephant never forgets? Lol i didn't forget but i forgave, you still can't have my attention tho.

I'm so tired and I'm so sick of holiday shoppers. Can't wait until January

Two days off and i needed it. I go back to work tomorrow morning but I've forced myself to not move off this couch and stay in pjs until 2. Kinda hard cause i have shit to do but it can all wait. Jerry springer is on lol. So I'm packing a bowl, getting some munchies and watching the most horrid trash tv i can find. In other news i tried to get tickets to go see jimmy kimmel live because afi is playing in l.a no luck tho :( i think I'm still going to stay up and watch the performance tho...

I find it funny when people hang out with me and when i ask if they are loaded they lie. Bitch your racking your jaw and you have crazy eyes. I'm not stupid lol. I don't care what you snort, smoke, inject but you don't have to lie to kick it... I'll still hang out. Uppers weren't my cup of tea anyways.

I should really be in bed... well I'm already in bed but knocked out in a deep sleep. I just love watching the sun come up i guess. In the meantime good fucking morning you smell that napalm?

glad to know that in your darkest hour you still love to have your ego stroked. Way to go.

I feel like I'm slipping into a dark bottomless pit, and as i try to crawl myself out i continue to slip and fall deeper. I don't know what's at the bottom of the pit, but i don't want to find out

It only takes two lonely people to fuck love up and make it evol.