hey i have to go for the night but will be back for 2 hours sat
im just done with him!! *sobs*
i was perfectly fine today and having a great time till i got on myspace to see my once again ex being shitty to me and killing my mood!
david daniel fasick you and i are over!
and juliet(you know who you are) i love you im in love with you i dont want to lose you please dont move in with david or talk to hime any more he is not right in the head!
i just cant take the bullshit anymore...he pushed me and pushed me in the middle of me having a panic attack talking about getting with a 12 year old a married woman and getting back with two of his ex gfs!
omfg i got asked out by a very lovely cowboy on here..sadly i had to turn him down...im sorry sugah!!
you all think im a freak i know it!! i dont care you can all kiss my ass...well not all of you but my dear cadmus you are so adorable and tiddle and Damian and Demonic lover!! you are all such loving pets i love you all so much!!
and to my masters to the only two that have stayed with me and tried to protect me [Epic Failure.. Reign] and [shamelessbuddha] i loves you both so very much
and my juliet (you know who you are) i love you with all that i am
this past week(the short version)
okie where to start...well umm idr remember what happened at the start of the week other than i got like 6 new story's going..bwahaha
i continued working on my story's thinking i was going to be getting a cell phone on the 1st...i told some of my friends that i was...but sadly i have been severly fucked over (we are skipping wenesday) thursday the first i got my cheeck and my mom brought me the money and i had to call me bank to see just how much the assholes were charging me! i found out to my dismay that i owed $241.16....O_O
and yea she was pissed of!! i was to you can be sure of that!!!
well my mom had only brought 120dollars with her for the bank cause originally that was all we were supposed to be paying...O_o well fortunately we and the bank took care of the problem!! so i dont havebad credit or anything and i dont owe any money any more!! YAY!!!
but sadly cause i had to pay rent and the 120 dollars at the bank and had to pay 25dollars to my grandma and mother it left me with only 100dollars to my name!! this sucks!!!!!!!!!
Master you shall have to wait for the pics till tomorrow!! sorry but my time ran out i wont be able to getback on till tomorrow!! this fucking sucks please forgive me!! *drops to my knees*
Beautiful Midnight...tha
OMFG I HAVE MY CRUXSHADOWS CD BACK FINALLY!!! *RUNS AROUND SCREAMING AND BLASTING MUSIC* OMGOMGOMGOMGOM
THIS IS FUCKING GREAT!!! I LOVE THIS BAND AND I LOVE MY BUNNY WHO KEPT IT SAFE FOR ME!!!! OOOOHOHOHOHOHO
sorry david bunny thinks you are crazy!! and she says your stupid mother keeps glaring at her at school!! if -I- see it im reporting your mom and when you move out you need to get that house condemned!!
*keeps running around screaming out the lyrics of the coolest band EVAH!!!*
i cant wait to get pics of me in my boots on here!!!
going.to.bed.t
.maybe.back.to
MASTER.ANGELIC
*runs.off.weep
bigboogiedaddy
tricks/people/
once/you/fill/
you've/been/fo
WTF/FAKE/WONT/
okie i was looking at some new sites that popped up on my screen and yeah there was like this site called sextoons and it was from russia...i was like WTF? okie wow...
anyways the first pic that pops up is this sick as shit pic of the hulk fucking she hulk and there was al ink that i couldnt read so i scrolled down the screen and saw this nice ass sticking out in a picture so i clicked it...i thought it was something funny or atleast a good way to get new girlie pics to send to my guy friend eric who is always sending me porn ...welp it turned out it was a russian mail order lesbian site!
i was like HOLY SHIT!!!! and yeah so i left!
this is something shitty that happened today...
i was sitting writing a fanfic of mine eating a tootsie pop and drinking juice. when i heard this loud thump! i was like WTF has hector(the parrot) knocked of the entertainment system now? well i scanned the floor with my lovely eyes and saw to my horror that the little shit had escaped his perch! "oh shit" i thought
hector stared me down and squawked at me i said "listen you little shit go find your momma(layla)" it glared at me and stood there.. i caved and got up from the couch and told it to follow me...
HUGE FUCKING MISTAKE!! the second i got near it it came at me clicking and screeching! i was like "OH SNAP WTF!?" and ran for my life... it chased me all through the main part of the house and was snapping its damn beak at me and i was like freaking out cause the little fucker can run!
Lament of a teenage hooker:
written by my smexy, talented, loving, bighearted, yet tortured best friend "Layla"
The skinny, pale reflection... mocked me as I looked into the mirror, fried blonde hair, (I stuck out my tongue) pimples under makeup.. wow alot of makeup. I'm a little 13 year old girl dressed like a whore. But I'm in a pent house, the guy is snoring outside on the huge bed I have 200 dollars in my little purse to give to my "protector" that will keep Him from beating me tonight at least. I sometimes wonder if I'm paying Him to beat me or just to keep Him from beating me...not much difference from home...
Ah I'll do another line... the marble floor is cold under my bare feet ...what happened I'm in Junior High, now I'm in a bathroom in a penthouse, in Vegas walking the streets and sleeping with these huge, hairy men.. (laughs darkly) Well they call it sleeping. I call it acting like the pigs on my farm! They smell a little better though ...haha. Rich men who want me! A little girl form a little town ...I can get them to tell me all their secrets (please tell me I'm special?) Oh the razor is sharp.. it etches a small line as I trace it across my wrist. I think of my family I think of my teachers. Am I a failure?
I make more money then they do. Even though I don't get to keep it. But we don't keep much of what we make anyways we all pay it back to taxes (laughs darkly once again) at least I'm tax free.
All those girls in junior high making fun of me (I trace the existing line on my wrist.. it deepens) I wish they could see me now.
I have money, cars, whatever I want to wear. Wouldn't they be jealous..no I think they would laugh and call me bad names.. Oh well (sigh) They can't see the streets at night... I drag the razor across my wrist again... it really doesn't hurt much. Not as much as my life. (As I look in the mirror I see the reflection of the man sleeping in the bed)
Once again razor across blue vein.. the red crimson ribbons of blood flowing more freely down my arm... splashes on my toes...it matches the dark red polish on them. Why am I here? Do I have a purpose? Am I alive? The pain of the razor tells me so. Marble is slippery under my feet ...(looks confused) Oh it's wet. Why is it wet? Oh yeah! The blood...once again across the wrist, it's running quicker now. Almost like a river. I love you. I miss you. Can I come home?
my darling hellhound is the first and only guy on here to change his SN to fit with mine and i didnt even ask him he did it cause he loves me and you know what...
i loves him too! *goes and covers shadow in kisses*
i am going to name the men on here that i am inlove with and no matter what they say i shall ALWAYS LOVE THEM!!
first is my long time friend and once lover Draconious..i met him on elftown years ago but we got separated cause the fuckers kicked me off... i still love him with all that i am... but sadly he cant be with me. he has others problems.
second of all there is my now Ex-bf The Lone Shadow whom i used to live with but his effing mother is insane and just kept taking my money for herself and her shit hole house... but did that ever stop me from loving him... FUCK NO IT DIDN'T! but he and i are trying to work things out... i just dont know what to do there i have all my friends saying he is just using me for sex and even my parents say that...but guess what i dont think thats true especially because he has been pouring his heart out to me through email for the past two weeks and i feel terrible for hurting him...im considering saying fuck it to everyone but my gf friend and david and just going to live with him in a new place and bring my gf and my best friend meg to live in that new place.
third is a man i first met here his name is metalmeister(SP?) i love him so very dearly but he doesnt want me the way i want him cause according to him he is just wasting his life in front of the computer...you know that really hurts yet...as i'm sure you can all guess I STILL FUCKING LOVE HIM TOO!!
then there's my now ex master Rune Takashi.. he left me and my darling gf because we wanted attention that was a little more close to home... and as you know i still love you too!! but i and my gf said we would still love him and be with him even though we were so far away from him... and really he came to me first and i fell in absolute love with him.. still in love with him but he doesn't want either of us he told my gf that she was picking a convenient fuck over him...you know what matt she just wanted someone to love her where she was its the same way with me it wasn't because of the sex it was because i wanted to be held and hugged and loved in my own time
i need to go to bed nowi have to be up early... i'm seriously going to bed and pass out
woooooooooooho
i dont want to be alone i hate being alone i just broke up with david cause of some shit...dont ask.. just know its over.
i want someone to love me just for me i dont want to be used anymore... but the men i really want to be with either have girlfriends now or lives hundreds of miles away and the ones that live so far away say that im too far to be with... wtf!! i just want to be inlove with someone because they are smart funny kindhearted handsome, have a mind of their own, and above all see me as more than a thing to be fucked then thrown away...
i want unconditional, breathtaking heart pounding love...but i guess I'm just not worth it to anyone
*feels like im going to die of a broken heart*
the shitty bank
omfg my bank has tottally screwed me over!! i -according to them- have overdrawn my account by $67.00. omfg!! but i didnt i had a lil bit of cash left in the bank but they like took it out for their payment and that over drew me then they tacked on a 25 dollar charge because the account was over drawmn for the first time... but did they fucking tell me that? NO!!!
so i did an inquiry at a walmart ATM and that cost me five more dollars wwhich again i was unaware of! and yet thats not enough for the bank they decide to keep taking money out five dollars a day... and i dont get paid again till the first of next month.... so by then ill owe over 100dollars because of the fucking governtment and i only get six hundred a month that i get to live off of... im trying to get a job i really am but i dont want to work in a fucking fast food joint here in dayton and take the chance of getting shot by some drugged up psychopath!!! i have no problem working in like a coffe shop or something...
and on top of owing the bank i have to pay 275 rent this month... and that right there along with the bank is over 300dollars!!!!
im so very fucked over right now!!
by the gods i had so much fun today with my old friend William from the GCCC!
we met at the mall and just hung out in different stores, it was very fun...
and omfg he bought me stuffed animals from the disney store!! yes i admit we went in to a lil kids store... but i feel you are never to old for the disney store!! he bought me the baby turtle stuffie from finding nemo and a heffulump(SP?) stuffie from winnie the pooh!!! i loves them so very much!!! yay!
then later he took me to the food court for lunch i had chicken teriyaki(lil help please with the spelling!) oh but before that we went to hot topic and i got a lip/eyeliner pencil and a shimmer pencil thingy its green and the eye/lip thing is reddish purple! its great oh and i bought the first volume of chobits from the waldens bookstore today as well... and i was fully prepared to buy Will a star wars comic but he wouldnt let me!!! grr!
anyways everytime we walked by an abecromie and fitch store oe like this stupid as fuck store called RAVE i yelled "DIE YUPPIE UPSTER SCUM!!!" and the clerks all stared at me it was great... i had so much fun!!! yay!!
oh oh!! i snuck up on Will after going to the restroom and i bite his neck lightly or so i thought... well boy was i eveah wrom he ended up with a welted bite mark that looked like something out of "QUEEN OF THE DAMNED!!" i mean with out the blood!!!! i felt so terrible i kept apologizing until it dissappeared which took two hours!! oh my god!!
oh btw Will is like 6'6" tall and yeah i had to crane my neck to look at him!! *dies* but none the less i had major fun!! and he is just as cute as i remember.
he kept calling me his little hippie all day... but we aren't dating... umm lets see what else happened.. oh yeah we went to this sporting goods store called DICK'S and he wanted me to try on the bathing suits... the all looked like they were for children im talking size-anorexic! and i told him no... he kept like smacking my butt andd every time i like squealed... lol. but like i said i had a great time!!!