The sun beating down on my face as I lay in the grass feels like home... I feel free and I feel as if nothing in the world could hurt me until my phone rings and its you... For a moment I am happy but that quickly turns into hate... I try to be quiet and let you talk but I cant help but to cry... You were my world but you thought I was just another bump in the road... We made plans to grow older together but you didnt want that anymore... You left me for new adventures and I cant move now... Its as if my feet are glued to the ground... I hope your happy now... I guess the words "I Love You" werent enough...
-Alicia-</3
And when it rains,
On this side of town it touches, everything.
Just say it again and mean it.
We don't miss a thing.
You made yourself a bed
At the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole)
And convinced yourself that
It's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore
And oh, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
Oh, oh, I need the ending.
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain?
And when it rains,
Will you always find an escape?
Just running away,
From all of the ones who love you,
From everything.
You made yourself a bed
At the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole)
And you'll sleep 'til May
And you'll say that you don't want to see the sun anymore
And oh, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
And oh, oh, I need the ending.
So why can't you stay just long enough to explain?
Take your time.
Take my time.
Take these chances to turn it around. (take your time)
Take these chances, we'll make it somehow
And take these chances to turn it around. (take my...)
Just turn it around.
Oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
Oh, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
Oh, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
Oh, oh I need an ending.
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain?
You can take your time, take my time.
Why is everything always my fault? Im going to freakin off myself... Good-bye cruel world... FUCK YOU!!!
-Alicia-<X3
I dont even know what to say... It feels as if I am just falling apart... I just hurt all over and it wont stop... I give up... Im giving everything away...
BYE
-Alicia-</3
These days it seems as if I lack in the friend department... The friends that I thought I had dont talk to me anymore and the ones that are still around dont talk to me as much as they used to... I remember the days when I was never home cause I always had someone to hang out with and now I sit at home all by myself and watch the computer screen... I dont dare turn away cause I wouldnt want to miss my chance to talk to someone... My life is dull and I cant stand it anymore... Maybe Ill just sleep my days away and stay in my room until I have to pee... Ill become that old lady that lives alone and not do anything for the rest of my life... I know it sounds so stupid to talk like this but really its come to this... Maybe tomorrow Ill end up changing my mind and have the love of my life back... YEAH RIGHT!!! But time goes on right?
-Alicia-</3
I dont have many friends and for some reason I am content with that... I have been told by several people that I dont deserve to have friends and to be happy because I am a terrible person... But I know Ill be ok... I have dealt with some pretty nasty people in my days and I have tried to make the best of things... I try really hard to be nice but sometimes someone says the wrong thing and I blow up... I try to be optimistic and be an all around good person but some people just see right through that and look for all the bad things about me...
* Too Fat
* Really Ugly
* Really Loud
* Doesnt Have Many Friends... Must Be Something Wrong With Her...
* Poor
* Doesnt Dress Well
Yeah sometimes I do jump the gun and judge other people too quickly but try to reexamine things... To anyone that I hurt in some way Im sorry...
Im done with trying for anything...
-Alicia-</3
There are some people in this world that I feel like I cant live without and then you have some people that you just cant get rid of... Im going to tell you now I dont lie to people except if its to keep me safe... Like where I live... Why in the world would i give you my address unless I really trusted you... Anywho... I just wanted to say thank you to the people you make me smile when Im feeling down and say FUCK YOU to the people who put the frown on my face to begin with...
-Alicia-</3
You are looking at a newly married woman here... My husband [evlis] is the greatest and he says Im not that bad myself... LOL!!! This is fun...
-Alicia-</3
I am done with trying to make my life work... I dont have anyone that I can call my own and that scares the crap out of me... I am going to die alone and that only bothers me when I talk to someone that I thought that I could spend the rest of my life with (Tyler)... Im just going to try and make the best of things... But until the day comes that I have someone by my side that truly wants to be there and loves me with everything that they have I am going to stop trying... IM DONE!!!
-Alicia-</3