For some reason lately I've been in a rare mood....I've been singing not because I'm depressed or pissed but because my heart is light...I started singing Broken in the middle of Drawing this morning >///////////////< doh! Oh well it was the last five minutes and only one person heard me but I swear I need a muzzle!

I want to kinda update those people who care...I'm not yet officially dating but there's a guy on Fake (he knows who he is) who I went on a date with last night and I really really like him...I hope things work out

Also lately I've been having some issues physically and emotionally which hopefully will get cleared up soon...For those who don't know my biological mother punched me in the stomach about 3 weeks ago and since then I've been having breathing problems among other things

There is far too much drama on Fake. I'm leaving for a bit. To those I am currently rping with I do apologize if you have my IM please contact me I will explain further. To those who don't sorry I'll explain when I come back

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: Not really

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No way

Girl: What would you choose: your life..or me?

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

How I wish to god love was like that. But it isn't. Not usually. Usually it's the guy taking everything from the girl making her wish she was dead and has bled it out.

You know you've had a rough day when at the end of the day you want to cry hysterically til it either stops hurting or you pass out. When you have spent most of your day with the boy who raped you now turned into a six foot giant you're coated in sweat from fear and then add to that two very abusive exs and you've had it. Add one more stressing person and you're in tears

You ever go to a rock concert and come back with more on your mind than when you left? Wondering if you are addicted to a person and that you're just listening to their lies because you want them to be true even though it's impossible? Yeah that feeling. I love Skyfox but dammmit Johnny stop making me think so fucking hard

Good news I'm not preggers. Bad news....well I'm moving with an injured shoulder what isn't bad news

Just so everyone knows two things
I might be pregger I'm keeping my fingers crossed I'm not but the other thing is why this is cause for concern
I got punched in the stomach last night and since then I've been having some trouble breathing.

A real man won't just tell you he loves you he'll show you too. A false man will say he loves you just to get into your pants. No matter what I want something real. I'm tired of men who time and again prove by deed they don't love me at all

FEH! FEH! FEH! FEH! FEH! FEH!

THAT INSUFFERABLE PRICK! *fumes* I cannot believe after snubbing me basically treating me like I don't exist now NOW! he wants to talk GOD I HATE COLORADO BOYS SOMETIMES!!!

black dragons only cry obsidian, broken hearted humans cry water and those who don't cry simply pretend everything is okay even when it isn't for fear of showing weakness
- the simple truth

The one I love I hate but the sex is great...*laughes and shakes head* you know who he is or you don't but you should all know that feeling...you hate them but you can't help but be attracted to them...want them...Oh trust me if you don't know this feeling you're one lucky bitch. You can't stand them you hate them but you can't stay away you love them. I once heard it said the more they hate each other the more likely church bells are in their future...Oh I wish I knew why he got under my skin so easily. Sorry too much time to think I'll leave you humans alone now

http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/Apparel/IntimateApparel/Black-Monochromatic-Ruffle-Bustier-And-Thong-Set-174847.jsp
I want
http://www.seduction-lingerie.co.uk/black-lace-gothic-corset-dress-set-sizes-6-26-4354-p.asp
http://www.spencersonline.com/product/tickle-me-thong-blk-pnk/
http://fuckthemainstream.com/product.php?pid=2135

For those of you who have noticed my down mood since saturday...I'm done trying to get along with this one guy...There was hope but he always blows me off and tells me little lies I'm so tired of it I could cry. He used to be a good guy. You know came over when I was sick

You'll never know
You'll never know I fought to keep from crying
Cuz you said you didn't know if you loved me anymore
You'll never know that the one in my nightmares
The one I'm afraid is going to get hurt is you
You'll never know how much I care
Because you're set on killing yourself
You'll never know how much it tears me apart
To see you do this
You'll never know why I don't smile anymore
When you're around me
You'll never know why I don't tackle you
And scream I love you
You'll never know why when you say you're somewhere
I come even though I really don't want to be there
You'll never know I try so hard
To hide the pain
You'll never know I cried
When I found out I wasn't the only one
You'll never know how much I hate her
Because she could have you all to herself
And I never could
You'll never know why i never argue with you
Because I know you'll be mad
You'll never know why I don't do the things I said I would
Because I want you to trust me
You'll never know why I never tell you no
When you ask me to do something I don't want to
You'll never know
I love you.

Marpsy

So according to dream interpreter

1) Either I'm in danger and I don't know it
2) or someone around me is so deranged "fucked in the head" that they're a danger to me

I keep having that dream. I think I'm going to go insane. My head hurts from lack of sleep and from pain. I can't see straight. I'm always dizzy and best of all i'm barely able to eat...I forget to eat until 3 or 4 most days...and then don't really eat dinner...I don't know what's wrong anymore

lately I've been dreaming that I wake up in a hospital bed the sheets smell of antiseptic and blood and my body is covered in cuts...on my left hand is carved the word slut and on the right tramp from my collar bone to just before my genital is carved Whore... on my back is carved Bitch...It hurts...I'm close to dying and I'm scared whoever or whatever did this to me is there I can feel it. I'm not scared for me but John. John's there and I'm afraid that whatever did this to me is going to hurt him...

Help! I need a dream interpreter!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuKegmEyv-A
you'll know what I mean when you here this song
Also Love the Way you lie Eminem ft Rhianna.
You of all people should know why. You lied. You lied and you watched me burn. Too bad I found my feet and realized before you destroyed me completely. I'm no child. I'm not immature. I'm not a b...itch. I'm the girl who fights for those she loves. I'm the girl who would willingly get between a bullet and a stranger because she'd rather protect them than be to blame. Guess you didn't know or maybe didn't care

I know I'm nothing
I know I don't deserve you
You won't listen
Until I show the teeth I left sheathed
Then you realize
I'm hurting myself
I'm breaking my heart
I'm pushing you away
You just won't listen
You cling tighter as if your life depends on it
I push harder
Trying to get free
You still cling
Finally unthinking I lash out
Lash out at you
Lying to you
Telling you things I know will hurt
Driving you away
You'll never know
YOu'll think I lied when I said
I cared for you
But the truth is I'm lying now
I'm trying to break you
Of coming back to me
Never the less
You don't realize it at first
You think I'm lying
That I'm really just hiding
Truth is I'm breaking myself to help you get free

Marpsy