You ever hear a song and can mentally see a fight scene in your head? Even one totally choreographed between you and a friend?

I have decided I am unhappy with myself and dislike how many friends that are only around for sex. Thus...I'm taking a vow of celibacy.

Blood cries out to blood
Beyond the grave he calls me
To join him in the night's embrace
I cannot bear the pain of life
But I swore to live for us both
I swore to live to the end

Blood cries out to blood
Beyond the veil he screams to me
To save him from the sins
Of our parents that he must suffer
I cannot aid him and it kills me
But I swore to remain strong
I swore to atone in this life

Blood cries out to blood
Beyond this door he whispers to me
Begging me to keep my promises
Even when I waver I know
I cannot let him down
I swore to be strong
And live for us both

Blood cries out to blood
On this side of the grave I call to him
Telling him one day we'll be together again
He cannot know how much I have to fight
Fight to keep strong
Fight to stay alive and keep moving forward

Blood cries out to blood
We're two halves of the whole
Two who were never meant to be long in this world
One wounded of soul
One wounded of heart
If only we had been one
We would have been far better off

Blood cries out to blood

Marpsy

Darkness swirls in my heart
Part of me is so angry
So hurt
You couldn't bother with me could you?
The one girl who was interested in you
No it had to be her
Then I take a breath
It doesn't matter
You passed me up
And now I'm better
I'm beyond those petty hurt feelings
Part of me wants to laugh
The girl you court
Doesn't want you
Just like you didn't want me
Now you're finally seeing you have no chance
And turning towards me
But I'm already gone
You wanna know why?
Cuz I realized you didn't want me
So I went elsewhere
Too bad so sad
Maybe next time you'll see

Marpsy

For some reason lately I've been in a rare mood....I've been singing not because I'm depressed or pissed but because my heart is light...I started singing Broken in the middle of Drawing this morning >///////////////< doh! Oh well it was the last five minutes and only one person heard me but I swear I need a muzzle!

I want to kinda update those people who care...I'm not yet officially dating but there's a guy on Fake (he knows who he is) who I went on a date with last night and I really really like him...I hope things work out

Also lately I've been having some issues physically and emotionally which hopefully will get cleared up soon...For those who don't know my biological mother punched me in the stomach about 3 weeks ago and since then I've been having breathing problems among other things

There is far too much drama on Fake. I'm leaving for a bit. To those I am currently rping with I do apologize if you have my IM please contact me I will explain further. To those who don't sorry I'll explain when I come back

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: Not really

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No way

Girl: What would you choose: your life..or me?

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

How I wish to god love was like that. But it isn't. Not usually. Usually it's the guy taking everything from the girl making her wish she was dead and has bled it out.

You know you've had a rough day when at the end of the day you want to cry hysterically til it either stops hurting or you pass out. When you have spent most of your day with the boy who raped you now turned into a six foot giant you're coated in sweat from fear and then add to that two very abusive exs and you've had it. Add one more stressing person and you're in tears

You ever go to a rock concert and come back with more on your mind than when you left? Wondering if you are addicted to a person and that you're just listening to their lies because you want them to be true even though it's impossible? Yeah that feeling. I love Skyfox but dammmit Johnny stop making me think so fucking hard

Good news I'm not preggers. Bad news....well I'm moving with an injured shoulder what isn't bad news

Just so everyone knows two things
I might be pregger I'm keeping my fingers crossed I'm not but the other thing is why this is cause for concern
I got punched in the stomach last night and since then I've been having some trouble breathing.

A real man won't just tell you he loves you he'll show you too. A false man will say he loves you just to get into your pants. No matter what I want something real. I'm tired of men who time and again prove by deed they don't love me at all

FEH! FEH! FEH! FEH! FEH! FEH!

THAT INSUFFERABLE PRICK! *fumes* I cannot believe after snubbing me basically treating me like I don't exist now NOW! he wants to talk GOD I HATE COLORADO BOYS SOMETIMES!!!

black dragons only cry obsidian, broken hearted humans cry water and those who don't cry simply pretend everything is okay even when it isn't for fear of showing weakness
- the simple truth

The one I love I hate but the sex is great...*laughes and shakes head* you know who he is or you don't but you should all know that feeling...you hate them but you can't help but be attracted to them...want them...Oh trust me if you don't know this feeling you're one lucky bitch. You can't stand them you hate them but you can't stay away you love them. I once heard it said the more they hate each other the more likely church bells are in their future...Oh I wish I knew why he got under my skin so easily. Sorry too much time to think I'll leave you humans alone now

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For those of you who have noticed my down mood since saturday...I'm done trying to get along with this one guy...There was hope but he always blows me off and tells me little lies I'm so tired of it I could cry. He used to be a good guy. You know came over when I was sick

You'll never know
You'll never know I fought to keep from crying
Cuz you said you didn't know if you loved me anymore
You'll never know that the one in my nightmares
The one I'm afraid is going to get hurt is you
You'll never know how much I care
Because you're set on killing yourself
You'll never know how much it tears me apart
To see you do this
You'll never know why I don't smile anymore
When you're around me
You'll never know why I don't tackle you
And scream I love you
You'll never know why when you say you're somewhere
I come even though I really don't want to be there
You'll never know I try so hard
To hide the pain
You'll never know I cried
When I found out I wasn't the only one
You'll never know how much I hate her
Because she could have you all to herself
And I never could
You'll never know why i never argue with you
Because I know you'll be mad
You'll never know why I don't do the things I said I would
Because I want you to trust me
You'll never know why I never tell you no
When you ask me to do something I don't want to
You'll never know
I love you.

Marpsy

So according to dream interpreter

1) Either I'm in danger and I don't know it
2) or someone around me is so deranged "fucked in the head" that they're a danger to me