I had a talk with my Elders tonight...nothing like having them help me with my problems to make me feel like a selfish bastard.

I dont know...im torn between my hypocritical hate of humanity, and my honorable nature...

Maybe I dont hate humans...maybe I just hate the ones without honor...

I’m tired of messing up
Still not used to being wrong so much
Can’t feel the urge to even get up in the morning, sleep until someone calls to give me something to do
Tired of being alone, being an animal that females are afraid of. Maybe I am happier as an animal, animal urges and animal needs.
What’s it like to be an animal? To want to growl and crawl on all fours and touch things with impunity? Sounds like my dreams…
I cannot get used to being hated for the things I have done wrong in the past, being ignored by those I failed…They refuse to even talk to me now, won’t let me make it better.
Evil, maybe I am evil, I lust, I have greed and envy and malice. I see others doing evil, hear of them, the humans always the humans doing it, and I hate them, I want them to parish…
I feel the seconds slipping away even as my cursor blinks…life is losing its luster. Things are not so fun anymore, the games, the friends…
Tired of being backed into a corner and feeling unable to cope with the pain and sorrow I have brought down on my own heart and soul.
A soul…I can believe in my own soul but I can’t believe in a god...why is that?
What if my soul isn’t a human one, what if im not human, maybe human in body, but surely not in mind and soul…
Are soul and spirit the same?
Motivation, what emotions drive me to action? Passion? Delight? Anger?

My Tora is gone...I dont know what to do...

*lays head down on the ground, ears drooped*

Let's watch it burn
Let's watch it burn
Let's watch this city burn the world

Let's watch this city burn
From the sky over top the world
Til there's nothing left of her
Let's watch this city burn the world

watch things turn to ash
With two empty cans of gas
The only evidence they have
Is the police catch on my mask
And its hardly time to ask
If you can save my heart for last

And its hard to face the facts
When the darkness fades to black
It's not just make beleive
When they make me take a seat
And they put amphetamines
in the air and make me breath

So come on and grab your children
Look out for burning buildings
And civillians who perish
they kill them by the million
And billionss of people die
For a lost cause

So now I pray for my nation
thats destroyed under god

(it's the end of the world)
All my battles have been won
But the war has just begun

Let's watch this city burn
From the sky over top the world
Till there's nothing left in her
Let's watch the city burn away

The city looks so pretty
Do you wanna burn it with me?
Till the skies bleed ashes
And the f**kin sky crashes

We make ashes just with matches
To ignite the flame
And all the hopes of a young teen
F**kin insane stays the same

Take the pill
And go get drunk
And go get killed
Double dose
Acid life and acid death
Breathing till there is no breath

I will not die in the night but in the light
of the sun and the ashes
of this world in my lungs

But who am I to say
Lets all just run away
Go grab your friends and pray
We're gonna rule the world today

(it's the end of the world)
it's the end of the earth
We've been done since our birth

Let's watch this city burn
From the sky over top the world
Till there's nothing left in her
Let's watch the city burn the world

(Let's watch it burn)X2
The city looks so pretty
do you wanna burn it with me?
The city looks so pretty
do you wanna burn it with me?
The city looks so pretty
do you wanna burn it with me?

We use the trees as torches
(Do you wanna burn it with me?)
dot the streets with corpses
(Do you wanna burn it with me?)
we watch the city f**kin bleed
(Do you wanna burn it with me?)
and Bring the world to its knees
(Do you wanna burn it with me?)

Let's watch this city burn
From the sky over top the world
Til there's nothing left in her
Let's watch this city burn the world
Let's watch this city burn
From the sky over top the world
Til there's nothing left in her
Let's watch this city burn the world

Let's watch it burn
Let's watch it burn
Let's watch this city burn the world

Finally, the only thing to make me happy today is one song...

Last night, I sat in my car for over two hours watching the most amazing thunderstorm ive ever seen. Lighting flashed and arched every second for the whole duration, it was just one after another, sometimes 3 or 4 at a time, the rain was in huge drops and it hailed heavily...so beautiful...I felt so at peace...

Then, today at work, I crawls up the stairs of an apartment on all fours, as I always do, and one of the little girls that lived there followed me up and asked me; "Um...are you an animal?" I replied; "Yes, I am..." She smiled all big and giggled and proceeded to follow me up the stairs several times on all fours with me...

It warmed my heart, when I sire offspring, they will be female...

73 people deleted off my list...the last 28 of you, are my Elite...you still matter to me...

41! 42!! They drop like flies!

listen to the fucking song!

over and over and over and over and over

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF4b3jc63pc&feature=related

Oh here we go, 23 friends deleted off my list and im still going...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF4b3jc63pc&feature=related

and this song, so fitting...

People and their secrets...always hiding things from me...I respect nothing more then perfect honestly...I give it, I expect it in return...

AHAAHAHAH!!!!

Im going to lose what little I hold dear...

Everyone I care about is leaving or destroying me....

You fucking humans and your shit....god dammit I hate all of you!!!! Fucking shit...

I cant do this shit again! I cant stay level headed when it hits me again and again!!!

Lord Byron (1788 - 1824):
Darkness
I had a dream, which was not all a dream.
The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars
Did wander darkling in the eternal space,
Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth
Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air;
Morn came and went--and came, and brought no day,
And men forgot their passions in the dread
Of this their desolation; and all hearts
Were chill'd into a selfish prayer for light:
And they did live by watchfires--and the thrones,
The palaces of crowned kings--the huts,
The habitations of all things which dwell,
Were burnt for beacons; cities were consumed,
And men were gathered round their blazing homes
To look once more into each other's face;
Happy were those who dwelt within the eye
Of the volcanos, and their mountain-torch:
A fearful hope was all the world contain'd;
Forests were set on fire--but hour by hour
They fell and faded--and the crackling trunks
Extinguish'd with a crash--and all was black.
The brows of men by the despairing light
Wore an unearthly aspect, as by fits
The flashes fell upon them; some lay down
And hid their eyes and wept; and some did rest
Their chins upon their clenched hands, and smiled;
And others hurried to and fro, and fed
Their funeral piles with fuel, and looked up
With mad disquietude on the dull sky,
The pall of a past world; and then again
With curses cast them down upon the dust,
And gnash'd their teeth and howl'd: the wild birds shriek'd,
And, terrified, did flutter on the ground,
And flap their useless wings; the wildest brutes
Came tame and tremulous; and vipers crawl'd
And twined themselves among the multitude,
Hissing, but stingless--they were slain for food.
And War, which for a moment was no more,
Did glut himself again;--a meal was bought
With blood, and each sate sullenly apart
Gorging himself in gloom: no love was left;
All earth was but one thought--and that was death,
Immediate and inglorious; and the pang
Of famine fed upon all entrails--men
Died, and their bones were tombless as their flesh;
The meagre by the meagre were devoured,
Even dogs assail'd their masters, all save one,
And he was faithful to a corse, and kept
The birds and beasts and famish'd men at bay,
Till hunger clung them, or the dropping dead
Lured their lank jaws; himself sought out no food,
But with a piteous and perpetual moan,
And a quick desolate cry, licking the hand
Which answered not with a caress--he died.
The crowd was famish'd by degrees; but two
Of an enormous city did survive,
And they were enemies: they met beside
The dying embers of an altar-place
Where had been heap'd a mass of holy things
For an unholy usage; they raked up,
And shivering scraped with their cold skeleton hands
The feeble ashes, and their feeble breath
Blew for a little life, and made a flame
Which was a mockery; then they lifted up
Their eyes as it grew lighter, and beheld
Each other's aspects--saw, and shriek'd, and died--
Even of their mutual hideousness they died,
Unknowing who he was upon whose brow
Famine had written Fiend. The world was void,
The populous and the powerful--was a lump,
Seasonless, herbless, treeless, manless, lifeless--
A lump of death--a chaos of hard clay.
The rivers, lakes, and ocean all stood still,
And nothing stirred within their silent depths;
Ships sailorless lay rotting on the sea,
And their masts fell down piecemeal: as they dropp'd
They slept on the abyss without a surge--
The waves were dead; the tides were in their grave,
The moon their mistress had expir'd before;
The winds were withered in the stagnant air,
And the clouds perish'd; Darkness had no need
Of aid from them--She was the Universe.