so no ones online so i guess i'll talk to u. i'm bored and kinda stuck with the prom thing b/c there is absolutely no one i could go with, well...maybe nick lee. good god, if nick goes with a date and i don't i'm gunna throw myself off a building. so no one loves me enough to be on fucking fake and i'm getting kinda tired of it b/c it's the same ppl online all the time every night and i fucking miss warcraft. my god what i would give for some wowage right now. *sigh* i think i'd give my right tit to play my rogue and pwn fucking hordes and laugh at the noobs like the good ol' days. the problem is tho, i have no wow boyfriend now to help me out when i need it. warcraft just got a little lonelier and harder for me *sigh* good night and good luck fucker. 

*sigh* so no boyfriend is fun sometimes and other times really sucks. I don't really want the sex, i just want the shelter, or something like it. I like the feeling that I have a shield, someone to lean on instead of me being by myself and the one all my friends rely on. Where's my soft place?? I want the large warm hands, the comforting embrace, common interests and conversations. Playful flirting but so PG little kids could watch. I don't have a single shot for this until college seven months from now >.< my pent up frustration has only just begun. 

So i've decided i'm going to use this for my stories i write occasionally. but don't get too attached, i rarely finish them b/c i lose interest easily. anywho, i came up with this piece kinda out of nowhere, it's a bit o' fantasy fictionish thingy. I call it BELOVED.

Prologue

Suki sat and stared at her still fingers hovering over the keys of her computer. Her room was dark, her head hurt like hell, as the light from the monitor filled her solemn silhouette. She was bent unattractively over the pulled out rest for her keyboard, her shoulder length brown hair hanging down her bruised face. Her bare slender legs were crossed neatly in her high backed computer chair as her thin wrists rested against the wood of her desk. A large baggy T-shirt hung loosely on her small frame; she was too thin, with too large brown eyes. She sighed and stared down at her arms once more, away from the disheartened blank document. She had bruises and various cuts, so very unattractive. She loved her hands though, her beautiful hands. Her fingers were long and slender with fine white nails at each of her fingertips. They were delicate just like the rest of her, simple yet somehow so very valuable to her. A banging on her locked door made her jump and twist in her chair to watch the shadow of her mother dart in the small crack under her door. 
"Suki, are you all right? Please, let me see your face." Without control her frame began to shake lightly at the fear of facing her mother. 
"Please mother I'm fine, not even a mark I promise." She flinched as her mother pounded herself against the door, the knob twisting futilely. She probably didn't even remember that it was her that had bruised her hours ago. 
"Suki dammit open this god damn door! Let me in Suki! LISTEN TO ME!" Suki turned back to her monitor, trying her best to ignore the screams. Her voice was shaking despite herself.
"Mother please, go to bed. I'm a bad child I know it. Just please, I'll see you in the morning." Her mother stopped pounding, her fists were bruised for sure after that episode. Suki would have to lie to her again in the morning.
"I won't go to bed until your father gets home Suki, you know that." She flinched, and whispered quietly to her hands in her lap.
"Father's dead." She sat motionless, quiet, barely even breathing for a few moments until she heard her mother retreat back to their living room. She let go a breath she didn't even know she was holding and stared again at her monitor. It was useless, if she couldn’t find something to write about before she wouldn't find anything in her to write about now. She wanted to disappear, to fade and never have to face her mother again. She was such a beautiful woman, but she couldn't handle her father's death. She broke in only a few weeks, but Suki could never leave her. She was the only person in the world her mother had left. Her slender fingers found her face in the darkness, illuminated by the mechanical light of her monitor, the blank white document before her. The little cursor blinked mockingly as she gingerly traced the skin around her left eye down to her cheekbone and jaw. Her mother had thrown a shoe at her in anger, saying that she had driven her father away, that she was the one who made him leave. The swelling wasn't bad; it would be gone by morning but would leave behind a terrible bruise. She wished she didn't bruise so easily. 
Suki grit her teeth together in anger, she was angry with her mother, with the world at that instant. Things completely outside of her ability and power occurred without any type of instigation by her and for some reason everything, everything around her fell onto her shoulders. Her fingers found the keys before she could stop herself:

I hate you; Father killed himself because YOU cheated

Suki swallowed hard and stared at her hateful words, but her heart wouldn't allow her to backspace them away. She saved and closed the document before shutting off her monitor and plunging herself into total darkness.