I wonder what It would be like to have never even have walked through that entrance of fake. Maybe I would have been better off. I probably would never have been stupid enough to fall for anyone. So would I still have met the few who means so much to me here. Is their friendships worth these scars I feel deep inside of me? Or should I have never have come and be such a naive grown child in this world maybe. Maybe it would have been better off that way. Especially without all the false I love yous that people tend to say. I would have never have loved and lost so easily. The loves that I could have done so easily without. *sighes* I wonder...

You with her but you still think about that one you couldn't have the one you loved all along the one you keep loving and missin and hating yourself for letting her go and hurting you so bad like a knife between your eyes

Again ive played the ever naive but deserving fool to ever think a person from here could love me. Damn its called fake for a reason. So now it seems she has some master and doesnt even respond to my messages. So much for love its a crock n every one can shove it up the ass. Another slash thru my heart that will never heal n another tear n my eye damn love n damn life

When you say love do you mean it
or are you losing it
are we more or just friends
shrouded in make believe
are you mine or just a fleeting thought
or am I just lost

beat to beat
heart to heart
lets sit down watch it all fall apart
crumbling walls break apart around
showing nothing but darkness fill the chasm.
wave my hands like a magic wand
try to build it up again to no avail
its all broken down shattered
impossible to be pulled back into place

I wonder..why do I stay on this site? every time I go to leave someone befriends me reeling my right back here. It always plays out that way...Is this site a place I cannot escape? *sighs softly* Looks like I need to go to bed *hums A Little Piece Of Heaven*

Soon as I get my damn com up and working again now mom wants to cancel our net out of spite. Cause thats what it is. Pure spite. She says she shouldn't pay for something she doesn't use damn it shes in bed 99.9 percent of the whole damn time. I love when she just blames me for anything. Its making me more and more violent each day

If you read this, even if we don't speak often... post a comment with a memory of you and I. It can be anything, good or bad. When your finished post this paragraph in your diary and you'll be surprised at what people remember of you.

How does it feel when you know shes so much better without you in her life?

If I neglect any of my friends in attention I am sorry I won't be able to be on much. Dear father trying to get me to do things I dun wanna do and if I had my laptop I wouldn't give a rat's ass, but since that is dead I have to use mom's com which means I do have to folow them when they say stay off their damn fucking com. So I'm not ignoring anyone if I'm not on much. Just couldn't get to ya. Hes trying to make it so I only get an hour. Fuck he let that damn guy from next door play on hours and hours never got onto him. Pisses me off their damn double standards

Wrong always wrong WTF Its always me always I did wrong I did something wrong someone curses me on the phone its my fault my tone must be why fuck myself die die thats all I want *beats head against anything*

Cut my life into pieces
I’ve reached my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding?
Would it be wrong?
Would it be right?
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I’m contemplating suicide!

Cuz I’m losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m blind
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m blind

I never realized I was spread too thin
Till it was too late
And I was empty within
Hungry!
Feeding on chaos
And living in sin
Downward spiral where do I begin?
It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself
And no love for another.
Searching to find a love up on a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils

Cuz I’m losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me in blind
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m blind
Nothing's alright
Nothing is fine
I’m running and I’m crying
I’m crying now
I'm crying now
I'm crying now
I'm crying now

I can't go on living this way

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding!
Would it be wrong?
Would it be right?
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I’m contemplating suicide

Cuz I’m losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm blind
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m blind
Nothing’s alright
Nothing is fine
I’m running and I’m crying

I can’t go on living this way
Can’t go on
Living this way
Nothing’s alright

Just Hold Me

Comfortable as I am
I need your reassurance
And comfortable as you are
You count the days

But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if i like rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know

And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to se me broken
And why do I still care
still care

You say you see the light now
At the end of this narrow hall
I wish it didn't matter
I wish I didn't give you all

But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if i like rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know

And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to se me broken
And why do I still care

Poor little misunderstood baby
Noone likes a sad face
But I can't remember life without him
I think I did have good days
I think I did have good days

And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to se me broken
And why do I still care

It has been decided. I'm closing myself down. No longer shall I let anyone close, because then I learn to love them and then I realize I can never keep them so that love is futile because sooner or later they find a significant other leaving me cold inside because no matter what I am without. Fuck this place fuck life and fuck the world I dun need it

New haircut. Not exactly what I wanted but it'll do.

nice song
Stand in the rain
by Super chick

She never slows down.
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
Stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

Dear god the only thing
I ask of you is to sever
this heart from my chest
so I never love again
This pain burns to deep inside
of me till I'm dead and collld

(I just make random stuff up to different song melodies XD)

A song dearly dedicated to someone I care for deeply

Dear God
Avenged Sevenfold

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah
Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
�Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again
There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
and all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah
Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
�Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again
Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade...
A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
�Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Awesome song:

Best Mistake I’ve Ever Made by Joanna Wang

One step too far
All at once I’m falling
Just like a star
I’m burning for you
Thought I could keep myself from feeling this way
I guess that was my first mistake

Cause suddenly I’m walking
Down a dark street to your door
Wanting you is driving me insane

And now my feet are standing
Where they’ve never stood before
Guided by a twist of fate

If I lose myself with you tonight
Fall apart or hold on tight
Wrong or right I won’t be afraid
Cause even if my heart should break
You’d be the best mistake I ever made

I’m in your room
Now there’s no denying
What’s in your eyes
When I look at you
Two shadows talking but they don’t make a sound
Words have lost their meaning now

And the air has turned electric
Now I know the time is right
To put myself into your hands

And suddenly I’m shaking
As your fingers touch my skin
I don’t need to understand

But If I lose myself with you tonight
Fall apart or hold on tight
Wrong or right I won’t be afraid
Cause even if my heart should break
You’d be the best mistake I ever made

And if tomorrow proves me wrong
I swear I don’t belong
I know I’ll carry on

So I will lose myself and bare my soul
Take this chance cause heaven knows
I’m so far gone and my choice is made
And even if my heart should break

When I lose myself with you tonight
Fall apart or hold on tight
Wrong or right I’ll always say
You’re the best mistake I ever made
You’re the best mistake I ever made
You’re the best mistake I ever made

Knife Called Lust
Hollywood Undead


i look alive, im dead inside
my heart has holes
& black blood flows
we'll do some drugs
we'll fall in-love
& get fucked up while the world just shrugs
with no thought logically
we're wandering the streets so aimlessly
i hate to see these kids just being
put down so painlessly
people say you dye your hair
or wear tight jeans
that doesnt mean that you cant scream
& like loud noise
you got a choice
you have a voice
& just because you show no love
& hate on us
you fucked our trust
now watch me press this knife called lust
into my chest until it busts
this love to say
it's burning me away
it's hard to face the world
oh this love to say
it's burning me away
it's hard at times like these
that never change
your mad at the fact that your dad is an addict
your friend takes pills
they say it cures sadness
im ready to attack & make you kids panic
but it's just trash the way you kids have it
everybody sins & it all begins
it goes back around
nobody ever wins
& you stab yourself in the back
everybody just relax!
it all just hits so close to home
we all got friends but we stand alone
& your on your own from a broken home.
you keep the truth inside
& you save some noise
you've solved your hits & it's time to quit
& everybody acts like it dont mean shit!
& your friend will stab you just to fuck some girl
put your hands in the air scream "fuck the world!"
this love to say
it's burning me away
it's hard to face the world
oh this love to say
it's burning me away
it's hard at times like these
that never change
LET GO
ill bring you closer
LET GO
so hold on tightly
LET GO
we're goin nowhere
SOMEWHERE
where things aren't over
HARD AT TIMES LIKE THESE!
growing up on the streets
HARD AT TIMES LIKE THESE!
well ill put you back on your fait
this love to say
it's burning me away
it's hard to face the world
oh this love to say
it's burning me away
it's hard at times like these
that never change
this love to say
it's burning me away
& i fall to the ground with my tear drops,
& i get lost everytime my heart stops
this love to say
it's burning me away
& i fall to the ground with my tear drops,
& i get lost everytime my heart stops
this love to say
it's burning me away

Black Dahlia

I loved you, you made me, hate me. You gave me, hate, see?. It saved me and these tears are deadly.
You feel that? I rip back, everytime you tried to steal that.You feel bad? you feel sad? Im sorry,
hell no fuck that! It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife. This strife
it dies, this life and these lies. And these lungs have sung this song for too long, and its true I
hurt too, remember I loved you!




(Chorus) Tha Producer aka Da Seducer:

I've , Lost it all, fell today,It's all the same
I'm sorry oh
I'm sorry no

I've , been abused, I feel so used, because of you
I'm sorry oh
I'm sorry no



J-Dog aka The Flat Iron Chef:

I wish I could I could have quit you. I wish I never missed you, And told you that I loved you, every
time I Fucked you. The future that we both drew, and all the shit we've been through. Obssed with the
thought of you, the pain just grew and grew! How could you do this to me? Look at what I made for you,
it never was enough and the world is what I gave to you. I used to be love struck, now I'm just fucked
up. Pull up my sleeves and see the pattern of my cuts!



(Chorus)



(Bridge) Tha Producer and Shady


Seems like all we had is over now you left to rest.

And your tears are dried up now, you just lay without a sound.

Seems like all we had is over now, you left to rest.

And my fears are over now, I can leave with my head down.



(Chorus)

I feel so hollow inside and not myself I dun know whats wrong with me. Its like my soul is dead

Its just like people when you tell them you want to do something and you remind them the day before and they get all hesitant. One damn thing I ask of him and he gets alll Idk. Friggin a.. Can't even rely on your goddamn family at all or anyone else for that matter