Everything is just so stressful right now. Im falling behind in school due to all the doctors, hospitals and tests, I have to work my ass off just to keep my head afloat of my last five weeks in Niskayuna High school, class of '08. My teachers understand but that doesnt stop me from thinking, why waste their time? I have to remind myself daily that its worth the pain to keep going. 
    And then theres josh, *sighs softly* A beautiful day together I Hope to repeat as often as possible forever if I can. You have been so great to me and for me, all I want to do is curl back up in your arms and forget the rest of the world. Of course I cant say this directly to you cause im just that freakin spastic but heh, whats a girl to do? I feel safe and secure in your arms whether it be my heart playing tricks on me, or fate bringing you to me, time will only tell. I just know I never want to see that feeling end. We felt right. I know everyone that meets you comments on your beautiful blue wolf eyes, but im not here to tell you how beautiful your eyes are, or how easily I get lost in them. Im here to tell you, I see nothing fearful or false in them. I see nothing I should run or hide from. when I looked in your eyes I felt like I was home. You wanted to know why I liked you, why I love you, Thats why. I turn around and your there to support me, even through this surgery your still there, you have no idea how much that means to me. Not many would stick with a girl like me with all the problems Ive had, then have this added to her plate. It so hard for me to voice my opinion or my thoughts but now I have. If they let me Ill still have your ring around my thoat tommarrow, Fates willing They will find whats wrong reverse it, and end this torture, but untill then this continues another day. I dont know when ill be back but I can promise I will be back. I love you dear, My heart, my mate. What do you have to say?