I actually saw my fiance's profile and at the very bottom its read any legal female that is in to showing themselves and has a web cam please messege me for my msn and yahoo address.....it hurt i feel like im not enough for him i feel like we are drifting away im afraid hes going to add these girls and talk to them and be friend them and call them and cyber them and or have fone sex with them and then ill be left alone to myself wanting to love him physically but ending up him being spent from cybering or from sex...i feel ugly and unwanted i feel second best i feel like a stupid ugly disgusting fat ass Bitch. i never do nothing right im repulsive i feel alone i feel sick to my stomache and i want to vomit the ice cream i ate im fat i wish i could beat the fat out of me i wish i had the nerve to cut myself in the places that would end all this. i wish i died those few years back.i simply cant stand the fact that another girl may see him and his body and him see another girls body it upsets me to no boundries. it make me want to purge my food and my organs and turn me in to a pile of nothingness.my mind inside is screaming and tears its hair out and beating on itself this si what my mind is doing to me.yes im a very jealous person and i HATE other women for reason i keep to myself i just find women to be sneaky and backstabbin and whores thus i hate myself cause i am a woman i love my gender for the good things but i hate the emotional shit that comes with it i hate women for being bitches and going after what is not theirs. im afraid of dark edge seeing another woman and talking to her and feeling the feelings of second guessing his choice of being with me seeing soemthing better than me out there and wanting that girl and not me haveing him make love to me and thinking of that other girl and or imagining her while hes with me...im so depressed and on the verge of tears i want to let him do this to show him i trust him i do but i fear alot of things i will keep this in mind as a test for me.i might cry for the next few weeks at night but yeah...im not gonna let myself have sex with him to test myself to see what happeneds to see if he wants me for me and not for other reasosn and to see if i want him for him and not those other reasons either.i love him so much i dont want to lose him maybe when my monthly is long gone i wont feel like this anymore i just dont want to loose him