One of the worst things that could happen is happening by best friend who is also my ex that I still care a lot for is having s lot of troubles. He has a bad heart. If it dnt get better do that he van have surgery the doc. Only gave him three years. I kno he doesn't wnt me to cry thats y I had to force him to tell me wat happened to him recently. But that's all I can do is cry and think about wat could happen to him I think about the bad when ok need to be thinking about the good. Easier said than done tho. He is my best friend I talk to him all the time and since he has been in the hospital I cant and in sitting here going crazy cuz Idk Wats going on. I cant stand the fact that I could be w.out u one day but I never thought that day could be w. In the next three years. I really hope that everything goes well and nothing bad happenes to him and cant lose another friend I have lost 3 this past year I cant take another especially one like him someone I'm really close to and care about. Jst pls I need every thing to be ok. I cant have this happen again.

so...
its over for good i guess
i didnt think that an argument over somthing stupid would end us for good
god i love u so much you have absolutly no idea
i want u bak
i alread miss u
why cant u look past the fact that we cant see or touch each other
my i look past all that cuz i love you so very much
my love for you is more powerfull
i look past that fact
i wanted to marry you
i wanted to be w. you forever
you were my life
my heart
my soul
my world
i loved you w. all my heart
i feel like i have no point in life anymore
i lost you so there is no point for me anymore
why cant u look past that
god!
i hate u

i already feel bad
im trying to change for my own good and others as well
but after wat he said to made me feel so good
but after wat i read makes me go bak to how i already felt
he says he wants me as his wife and he loves me
but he is telling every one that he is single
i still love him but wat i did was good for the both of us

is there really love? or is it jst something that is said? i thought i found it but..i guess it was all a lie. i fell in love with what i thought was the greatest guy ever. i still think he is great. and i still love him. he was my life and my world i loved him with all my heart. he treated me right and said all of the right things to me. he protected me in all different was he mine "forever and always" but that didnt last forever. only one thing left to say...i will still love him.."forever and always" no matter wat.
*cries one single tear*