So i've sort of hit a wall in life. You know? Everyone i know is going to uni and doing stuff, getting boyfriends, being all happy with life and the world, knowing what they want to do. I'm gonna be 20 next year, half way to 40, and i still have no clue who i am or what i want to be or how i want to live my life. I have no job, no boyfriend, no nothing. I'm going to college to do art, but in my heart i kinda know that's a mistake, it's not what i want to do as a career. Art is a personal thing for me, it always has been, i can't imagine myself being paid to do it, i'd feel like i was selling my soul or something.
In this country society considers me an adult. I'm allowed to have sex, have a kid if i want, start a family, get married, drink myself into oblivion in a bar, get a credit card and get myself thousands of pounds in debt, basically i can do what i want... But really, i feel like i'm still 12 years old.
So yeah i've pretty much hit another low. Maybe i'll turn into a wizard. That would sort of solve everything. Yeah.
I'm going to spend the last of my money on lottery tickets. Maybe if i win millions of pounds i won't have to worry about all this shit and i can just spend the rest of my life floating on a white lilo in a penis shaped swimming pool drinking Martini's and wondering whether to buy a parrot or a pony.
That would be cool.

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First diary entry ftw.

Let's all go fucking crazy and run around in the street talking to ourselves and pretending like we're the only people who exist in the world. Normality is so boring.

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