I've done nothing in my life to deserve someone like him. What I fear most is possibly destroying the best guy I've ever met. I'm no angel, and I carry darkness in me that I keep from people I care about most.

I don't know what I'm going to do now..

Having a choice possibly stripped away can make you realize how bad you want it.. :/ This could change things.

I can't lie, I've had a tragic past. Events that had shaped my heart to stone until it was released only to be smashed into smithereens without care many times. I thought the pieces too jagged or missing completely to ever be fused back together into some semblance of what it once was. I was wrong, though the end product looks a mess, it now has character. A story. And a hope for a safe haven in the hands of a very handsome, beautiful soul.

There's just that one guy you find that totally makes you forget the rest. And totally makes you wanna jump their bones constantly. Moohaha!

lmao. There's really nothing better sometimes, then coming back on this site after a looooong time away and rereading diary entries. It was nice getting a laugh from my own manic and sometimes stupid ravings. Oh well, I'm sure I may add more bitching in the future. One can only hope that its just as entertaining.

Yeah my job can seriously kiss my ass sometimes. i get shittily trained for two crappy days, then my first real day of work is a 10 hr shift on black friday of all fucking things. it hurt like hell to stand that lond with stupid little breaks that the managers were always LATE on relieving you for. i was a bagger but then cuz it was so busy wanted me and my friend to do register and we were like no way FUCK YOU (not to their face mind you) then the very next day i had to go in morning for a 4hr shift and they threw me on register when i don't know my ass from a walnut so then the first 2 hrs were fucked to hell cuz i didn't understand shit. luckiy a coworker took pity on me and helped me out a great deal then finally i got shit and flew through it. but omfg now i only have one day of work next week. ONE. ONE. FUCKING. DAY. OF. WORK. how am i supposed to live off that you ask? i'll tell you...I FUCKING DON'T, THAT'S WHAT. i can't afford alot of xmas presents or even to get more clothes which i despereately need. this company of cunts are just using us seasonal workers for their drudgery and then we'll be promptly cast aside like garbage once the holidays are over. fucking working my ass off with absolutely nothing to show for it. yeah thats awesome. fuck you guys. i bet your having a laugh at our expense as you lounge naked in your 10 jet hot tub, sipping champagne and getting your cocks sucked. the very cocks you use to rape us up the ass with no lube. okay i'm done ranting now. if this offended anyone, i couldn't give a rats ass.

[Ruff and Ready] was a good sport when I asked him what a girl can do to turn him on. So I GUESS it's only fair that I return the favor lol. One of my biggest turn ons is when a guy is being very funny or very nerdy. (for example, I have a huge crush on Sheldon from Big Bang Theory) so there you have it. that's one of 'em. lmao oh lawd....>_<

I hate the economy. It can suck my ass, is what it can do. Jobs don't pay you enough, yet everything is inflated and taxed out the asshole. This country is the Titanic, sinking to the bottom. It's ridiculous. You can't afford to breathe because they tax the air. (hmm..this rant is reminding me of a Beatles song...Taxman lol) (likes the Beatles) Anyway, it makes the holidays super depressing since christmas is pretty commercialized and materialistic. (I'm about to be a lil vulgar here...) If I had a dick, the government could suck it. (my luck they'll somehow read this and come after me in black vans...) There, I had my little outburst. Meh...XD