Would be great if people on here had decency to reply to messages they are given. You take time to write someone a message, something more than a "Hi" message, and they dont bother sending anything back. I guess they are just so much better than Me, I guess. I should learn my place.

You know what is so very funny? Those Sad people who have special rules in order to send them a message. And not the ones that are Fair either, like the ones that simply state that they dont Cyber and what not, thats ok, thats sensible. But the ones who say things such as, dont message me if you cant spell properly, or dont know proper grammar and whatnot. Those people who think they are so much better because they follow the rules of all those dip shits that came before us. Im sure Im not the only one this really bugs. Dont you want to just shoot these people in the face? Also, those people who are too good to respond to Hi, or Hello. I mean, its not overly difficult. All you have to do is send a Hi or Hello of your own. Maybe you just passed up talking with the most amazing person, someone who would have changed your life. But you are just too good, too great to respond to such a simple message. Sure, I can understand if you really were so great and good, getting thousands of messages everyday, each one saying Hi or Hello, but no, you are just another spoiled, idiotic, brat who thinks they are so wonderful, that you have no time to spend with us mere mortals and our simple greetings. I know, perhaps I will write a note on a brick, come to your home, throw it through your window. On the note, ha ha, would be Hi or Hello. But that would be above the common Hi or Hello, for you see, I took the time to find where you live and throw a heavy brick through the specific window leading to your room. Hmmm... Its so funny. I cant wait until you die and see things for what they are. So many of us would kill for a simple Hi or Hello.

Hi Everyone :D

After all the time I have spent studying the occult and Magic recently. I have decided to approach it from the Chaos Magic direction. I have studied Wicca, traditional Witchcraft, Enochian, High Magic ( which I was Mainly Interested in }, But Chaos magic seems like the write path for myself. Its basicly the idea that you can mix and match various practices to form your own unique magical practice. I think that Venus is going to be my main Deity of choice. The goddess Venus rules over Libra, and thats what I am, Libra. So it seems to make sense that I would pay her some respect in all that I do. I have also started stuydying Scrying. And Im trying to teach myself to read Palms aswell. Im also interested in something called a servitore, which is supposed to be pretty common in Chaos magic. The idea is that you attract a Demon, spirit, elemental, whatever, to become your own personal servant. Apparently, during ritual, you outline the traits you are interested in, and whatever best fits your outlined traits will become your servant. I will be doing alot of research in to this, see how it is really done. I still Have the Demon Azazel hanging around. He has made it clear that He is there, if I ever choose to come to him for help. I have done alot of research on demons and various ideas. In alot of cultures he Is regarded as the devil. Also, he is known as the Goat demon, which is what he appeared to me as when I first met him. Also, in the book of enoch, a banned book of the bible, He was the Angel who taught man of swords and sheilds and coats of mail, also of the metals of the earth, and of cosmetics, how to use beautious supplies to make one attractive, among a few others. I dont believe I am at huge risk. I have made it clear in my heart How I feel. I will not bow down to anything, no god. I am my own man. I will not sign a contract or sell my soul, though I have come very close before.

During meditation, I went into trance. Mind wondered for moment, when I shrugged thoughts aside and fixed back upon my concentration, I noticed it there. A hole in the center of the darkness. My eyes were closed, it was clear as crystal. Through it was another room. It was so clear. When I concentrated on it, trying to look a little closer at what I was seeing on the other side, It went away. It lasted a few seconds in all. But it was really wonderful. It was a sign of greater progress. It was accidental, but just that shows I have come a long way.

Dear Subconcious Mind,

   Hello old Friend, its been quite a few days. I was just thinking, there is something I need, and only you know where it is. You see, I lost my loved one, my beautiful and wonderful woman. You know where she is, where I can find her. Hell, you can bring her right to my front door if you please, as Long as she comes back, thats all that matters. I knew that you were the only one I could turn to, for you know everything. You will find her for me, and you will send her to me, in some form or another, some way. You know everything. Im sorry im always coming to you over the stupidest things. I mean, how did I misplace My girl Friend? Ooops. Well, thats ok, you know where she is, you will let me know where she is, or just have her contact me, or come see me. Yea, you know everything, your my best friend Subconcious Mind, you will find her somewhere, you always do, you know everything. Thanks.

Your Friend Josh

You dont know anything. Its a waste talking to someone who was never there to begin with. You were the one who told me to just go ahead and kill myself. You dont give a shit about the people you have used and betrayed. I wonder how many of them actually have killed themselves. Im far stronger than you will ever know. Far better than the both of you. I do what I do to keep myself from going crazy. We all have our own ways of dealing. Believe me, I care nothing for you anymore and am completely over the Fantasy that was you. I have done more with myself these last couple years than you will ever know. I am proud of myself and what I have done on my own, without the bullshit that you Feel is real. You never apologized for what you did, or atleast nothing ever sincere. I was going through hell when you left, you didnt care enough to act like a friend and help me through it. You were too busy worrying about your new man and getting his cock inside you. My world ended. And I have started a new life. If you would have acted like a friend, the both of you, perhaps I would have accepted your relationship. But you didnt. I was just a toy that was replaced by something new that you always wanted but could never afford at the time. How do you think it makes a person feel? Being used the way you use so many others. To have so much Faith in someone, knowing that they would never betray you, but proven wrong. I have been in several relationships since you. Some of them better than what I had with you, but not real enough for my own good. I have always wanted to be a father and have a family. Makes me feel like dirt knowing you and him have a child because sloppy, irresponsible sex. Dont believe for a moment that the two of you are any better than I am, that Im some monster or demon that you just cant understand. Thats how you are to me. I sincerely hope you are capable of taking care of the child and that you really want it. I take responsibility for the things I have done to myself, but its time for you to take responsibility for the things that you have done, things that destroy ones mental mind and leave them empty and low. Pretend your so much better than me all you want. I deeply do not care. I have created another self that allows me to let out all the hate and anger I have inside, dont care how others see it, its the truth anyway. And it allows my daily life to be free of burden and of you. I have said my peace. And that is truly what I should have said along time ago. I was there when you needed me. But you were never there when I needed you the most, not even as a friend. And patrick never spoke to me, never wanted to explain things, to calm me. I have done so much studying lately. Understanding is what brings Forgiveness. And I have never understood why I diserved this, or why you truly left me. And I never will. But I do know that love has nothing to do with it. He was something you always wanted, and that is that. An idea that you always dreamed of. I have learned to Lucid dream since my parting with you. I can create my own Dreams and Make them Reality on the Astral Plane, Loves that Are perfect and realer than anything here in this Physical realm. I have learned to make do with what I have. Teaching myself more and more each day. This is the last letter you will ever recieve from me. You will die knowing that you never knew me or gave me a chance, not even as a friend. When we were friends from the beginning, I now wish that we had always remained as such, for I lost a truly wonderful friend that I will never grow old with. The things I know now, I am confident I could have kept you with me. But at that time, I knew nothing and only made myself appear weaker, making it easier for Patrick to take you from me. But now I know what love really is. Yes, I love my Dogs and Cats. But it is unconditional and real, not corrupted by feelings of lust that ultimately destroys a relationship. Good luck to the both of you sincerely. May the child be beautiful and live good.

-Joshua

Was I really That Bad? Was it So Terrible and Unbearible? Why couldnt you Love me as I loved You? Why is everything So Fake and Untrue? When will something REAL happen that doesnt Involve Dark gods or Mystic Arts and Wishes? Something that Just comes out of nothingness and Says Hi? 

Need think on This... Have nothing better going on, Just Fake Women From Nigeria and Turkey wanting Money, But find it Funny and Odly comforting, Able to say whatever I want, knowing they are not Actually reading Mail. Hmmm.

I must Keep in Mind, there is No turning back, Once the first Lock is opened, I am on my Way. Let the Abyss swallow me up and Make me Into something I was Always against, Let the Darkness become My life and my Goal.

Lets not Worry about Becoming Posessed, Lets think Only of Becoming more than I am and Forsake what I was, Pathetic and Weak, Soft and Easy. Let whatever is to Happen, Happen, Let nothing Turn me or Hold me Back anylonger. I will become Satan and Reach forth, my spirit Turned forever, my Ideas changed for the Better.

I am learning to Lucid Dream. I heard about a technique that can be learned that allows one to slip into another reality and look upon endless alternate selfs. My theory is, maybe I can cross over for keeps. Just find a reality that is ideal. If I cant achieve that, I can at least Lucid Dream. I have been doing it alot throughout my life without realizing what I was doing. But now im starting to understand. My dreams are alive and I can do whatever I want. Of course, waking up is hell. Nothing good in this world except a whole lot of stupidity and hate. My dream world may be dark... But at least I am learning to take control of the monsters. Its an amazing feeling. I am deep in dream, yet I can wake up instantly and write in my dream diary about what I am seeing. I cant believe How easy it is. But I believe it is because I was able to skip so many steps. I have never been a good sleeper. I am forced awake about every two hours, and because of that, I perceive my dreams often. Most people have to use alarm clocks to force themselves awake, forcing them to see flashes of their dream as they awaken. Im lucky. Something I always hated about myself turns out to be something great. All those hours of sleep lost is actually helping me achieve something beautiful, a new reality of my very own creation, just waiting for me when my head hits the pillow.

The Women in my head, they want me badly. They touch me hard, the way they squeeze me, licking at me while they dig their fingers into my chest, pulling me apart, it makes me cry out in the darkest of nights. I hate it, I despise it, it makes me sick. Their tongues around my cock, my guts spilling down upon their faces. I hate them... I hate her. I can never be the same. My sex beyond what it once was, beyond, and yet nothing at all. Let them eat my balls, let them eat my guts. Let them eat my tongue, eyes, and breasts. They can not have my heart, It was already taken. Im a bloody mess, demon child riding my rough, biting a hole in my throat. My arms, my legs, pulled away, only a body with barely a head, tears mixing with blood. I hate you all. God, forgive me.

I believe in a little purple man with bright pink horns. That day is coming when he will dance the dance of doom and play his holy flute of destruction. The clouds will part and the sun will shine bright and warm, then the continents will shake and rumble, tearing themselves apart. From the cracked earth will come the giant shark Zang-Zor, who has laid dorment since the beginnings of time, and he will swallow all the non-believers up, chewing them in his mouth for a very long time before swallowing. We chosen ones, the ones spared of all this, we watch everything from the mountain of septus, while enjoying hotdogs and slushies. Oh, yea, the mountain of septus is actually a giant pyramid that kinda floats above the land below. When the first note of dread comes forth from the mighty flute of destruction, we are all magicly transported to the mountain of septus to await our lord, little purple man with bright pink horns, wearing grass skirt. When he returns to us, he gives us all a great big hug, making us immortal. And also, we get wings. Either featherly angel wings, or the badass demon bat-like wings, its your choice. So we get to fly around and not worry about death For like 100,000 years. By that time we have a huge giant golden palace on earth below to live in. But then it turns out its not over yet. A giant snake comes down from outer space, shooting lazor beams out of his eyes and eating us. Yea, we cant die, so we get to sit around in his stomic, that darn acid burning at our skin. The giant snake, lets call him Zoola the Destroyer, battles the giant shark Zang-Zor, who now has legs and arms, and a pair of lungs too, so he can breath air now. They battle for seven days and nights. That battle completly destroys the earth. So after Both Zang-Zor and Zoola the Destroyer have died, and weve been cut out of the snakes stomic by our awesome purple god, we all hop on septus, flying pyramid thing, and fly through the galaxy, looking for the perfect spot for our god to create another planet just like ours, because we all know, there is no way, no way that other life can possibly exist in the universe. Its just us. Its not possible, at all, that there could be another planet out there, just like this one, that has any trace of life on it, at all. Even though we being out here in the galaxy should be proof enough that its possible... But its not. So our god creates a paradise for us and we live happily ever after, this time for real. Oh, yea, if there is no life out there, where did Zoola the destroyer come from? Well, lets say hes the evil snake brother of our god, the little purple man with the bright pink horns, who also wears a grass skirt. Yea, that works. Ok, so remember, no killing, stealing, and by no means are you to masturbate or have relations with the opposite sex. Well, you can, you just cant enjoy it, and messionary is the only position available to you. Ok, well, thats that. Now go out there and force this religion on the towns people, because seriously, this is the truth. It came to me one night when I was walking through a forest. A vision. Yea. So believe it. Or you will find yourself in Zang-Zors stomic. Your soul. Well, it just mopes around without a body, watching us faithful fly around with our awesome wings, eating hotdogs and all that. Think about it, that will suck.

[Know what they dont want you to know. Support what is right, not what they tell you is right. Visit this site. Alex Jones is telling the people what is going on in america and the world, the things your not meant to know. Give it a look, at least a glance. If you like the site and agree with what Alex is trying to do, please tell others about it. "There is a war on for your mind," dont just stand by and ignore it. The people must know, as many as possible.] 

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