Something happened to me last night....

I think I saw into one of my past lives...I saw the forest, I could smell it, feel the dirt between my toes...I was on the first branch of a large tree...

I saw Avatar....tonight...

there are no words...for how amazing it was....it got me all choked up...

Well, I just got a very important phone call...and it seems on the 5th, I will be gone for a year or two...To Job Corps to start my welding career...

I had another very vivid dream, it lasted for 12 hours...

I was walking down a dirt road, with just a backpack on, there was new grass
(This is weird, I had a dream before about this road, but there was junk on the sides, and I was playing in the junk...then the military came driving up in humvees....saying that this area was off limits..., but not the junk was gone, and was replaces with new grass, like it just started to grow, and this is over a month after I had that other dream)

So I was walking down this road, and looking at this old town, it was kinda dusty, old, buildings were rundown, windows boarded up and such. There was even one of those old Coke machines outside. An old man came outside and greeted me as a wanderer, and asked if I wanted something to eat, so I said yes, ate some food, asked if there was a place I could stay here. He said I could stay in the crashed B-17 flying fortress in the middle of town...

I was told later, that I would need to do some work if I was to stay here...and that was fine with me. I was told I had to help a family fix up the three churches in the town...

We opened one of the doors to the church, it had not had anyone in it for over 100 years... there was a daughter, a son, and a mother with me....

The kid wanted to go into the basement...but it was getting dark, and the daughter said "No you cant go down there, you might fall into the subbasement..." He was like; "Whats a subbasement sister?" She replied, "Its a basement, below a basement"

But the kid started down the stairs, and disappeared into this fog...the mother came screaming, calling for him, but he didnt answer, so we all went down the stairs with out flashlights...There was a subbasement, it was all rusted metal and heavy steel doors...it was so hot down here, all steamy...we opened one door, and there was a swamp, with the child laying face down in it. The mother screamed and grabbed him, pulling him up....his head was rotted, covered in maggots....she screamed....

We ran outside, it was raining so hard...there was lightning that kept striking the churches cross (not the church we were in, another one a few hundred feet away) Each lightning strike was like a gunshot...I looked around and saw that the machine guns on the B-17 where firing, turning on their own....Someone inside with me told me that there was something in this town so terrible, that inanimate objects were afraid of it...the guns were firing everywhere, trying to kill it, but they didnt know where it was, so they just fired and fired....

I did another cleansing of my friends list...im down to 19

I used to have over a hundred...

Pisces

Description:
Mysterious and alluring individuals, most Pisces are extremely talented, but even though they are gifted in many ways, they still manage to spend most of their lives battling "confusing" conditions. Pisces is the sign symbolised by the image of two fish. Their symbol depicts one fish heading upward, the other pulling downward. This mirrors how Pisceans are frequently torn between two pathways in life, or actually do live two very different existences at the same time.

The number 2, is a very powerful number for them. This zodiac sign is acknowledged as being the Saint and the Sinner rolled into one; the trendsetter of fashion or art, the lost soul, the philosopher and the psychotic and the visionary. As a credit to them, considering their many vulnerable characteristics; Pisceans are incredibly adaptable and resilient. They are to be found leading the field in many diverse areas of life and many Pisces can be found represented amongst top business millionaires. On the other side of the coin, prisons, reform schools and all kinds of institutions statistically hold a high number of Pisceans too.

The Piscean's inner quest to explore their "ivory tower" syndrome can lead them into some most unusual and unlikely living conditions. Of all the signs of the zodiac, Pisces are the ones who end up in the most muddles over the years of their lives. They fantasize about situations, people and particularly romance - and because they spend so much time in their own form of 'fantasy land' this can catch them short in other more worldly areas. Because of this inner world of fantasy, Pisces people seldom perceive whatever is going on around them in its true light. They see life instead as they want to see it, coloring their view of the world in hues and tones far removed from its true reflection. No wonder this is the sign of both miracles and disillusionment. If you are a Pisces, be warned your emotions are a weak spot.

One thing that plays havoc with your life is romance. When things romantically are going well for you, you are on cloud nine. When romance turns sour you land in a heap. Pisces often need to take lots of holidays (or time off) to recover from life's many diverse pressures. You are the zodiac's most sensitive sign, so you need to take extra special care of yourself. Nobody can beat you up, as much as you can beat yourself up within your own mind. In your purest form you are psychic, visionary and a guiding light to all who know you. But, in your "out of tune" state, you become depressed, obsessive and confused.





















..............wow

Last night I had a particularly elaborate and vivid dream.

I was camped out in the middle of a very large dried up lake. I had a tent set up outside a metal shed that someone build there a long time ago. I had a powerful flashlight with me, and I was sitting next to my fire, because it was dark, when I saw something moving off in the distance. I got out my flashlight and pointed it that direction, and I saw a small human running toward me, it was only about three feet tall, and didnt seem to be wearing any clothing. Something was wrong about it, very wrong.

I ran into the shed and grabbed a pickaxe... I then stood out next to my fire, holding the axe as this thing ran at me, as it got closer, I could see it was not very human. It had dark grayish brown skin, that was emaciated horribly, it was a skeleton with skin stretched over the bones, and a mouth full of jagged sharp teeth, it was drooling and hissing as it ran towards me with a hatchet in its hand...

It swung at me with too much strength, I was barely able to block it with the pick, it swung again and again, I panicked, and swung the pick in a wide arc, connecting soundly with its head, sending the metal spike through its skull with a wet crack. I sat down as it crumpled, dead....what the fuck was that?

I took its hatchet and cut off its head, it had no blood or organs...then I stuffed it into a backpack, nobody would believe my story without proof. So I took it home with me and showed my parents, they were amazed at it, it wasnt like any living creature, and looking at it still sent shivers down my spine...this thing was wrong.

They put it back together, setting it up like some kind of grim totem in the basement, I remember how well lit it was. I was staring at it, watching it..I could swear the sinew of its skin was piecing its head back together...It reminded me of some kind of fetish statue...or like, a shrunken head with body attached...I looked up the stairs as one of my parents called, then looked back at the thing...it was gone......

The Goblin Song

Goblins chew and goblins bite,
Goblins cut and goblins fight,
Stab the dog and cut the horse,
Goblins eat and take by force!

Goblins race and goblins jump,
Goblins slash and goblins bump,
Burn the skin and mash the head,
Goblins here and you be dead!

Chase the baby, catch the pup,
Bonk the head to shut it up!
Bones be cracked, flesh be stewed,
We the goblins—you the food!

I had a dream where I ran out of gas in my car, and decided to take a long route home, went into the sewers and found a narrow entrance leading to a small closed off room with all kinds of bones in it, skulls of long dead animals and such, it was amazing, but I couldn’t take one, as much as I wanted to. I left the room and got lost in these old passage ways…but I wasn’t scared, even by just the light of my small mag light…

I really do hate parties...now that I think about it, sitting here, being forced to listen to the kinds of music I hate...I dont think that I have ever been to a party where I enjoyed myself. Watching everyone else and their mates dance around, laughing, joking...I am the one in the corner, alone, only able to watch. I hate being alone, having no female to hold and kiss and dance with...I guess I should be used to it, but whatever...

They try to make me dance, I hate dancing to this music...alone

Other then that, they are blind to anything I do. Why are humans so daft? They cannot notice even the most powerful emotions from others in need...

Its going to be a long night...im thinking of simply leaving to go home...to sleep alone like I always do...

My Werewolf RP character...a Rufus, Hare moon Werewolf...natural of course...

I had a talk with my Elders tonight...nothing like having them help me with my problems to make me feel like a selfish bastard.

I dont know...im torn between my hypocritical hate of humanity, and my honorable nature...

Maybe I dont hate humans...maybe I just hate the ones without honor...

I’m tired of messing up
Still not used to being wrong so much
Can’t feel the urge to even get up in the morning, sleep until someone calls to give me something to do
Tired of being alone, being an animal that females are afraid of. Maybe I am happier as an animal, animal urges and animal needs.
What’s it like to be an animal? To want to growl and crawl on all fours and touch things with impunity? Sounds like my dreams…
I cannot get used to being hated for the things I have done wrong in the past, being ignored by those I failed…They refuse to even talk to me now, won’t let me make it better.
Evil, maybe I am evil, I lust, I have greed and envy and malice. I see others doing evil, hear of them, the humans always the humans doing it, and I hate them, I want them to parish…
I feel the seconds slipping away even as my cursor blinks…life is losing its luster. Things are not so fun anymore, the games, the friends…
Tired of being backed into a corner and feeling unable to cope with the pain and sorrow I have brought down on my own heart and soul.
A soul…I can believe in my own soul but I can’t believe in a god...why is that?
What if my soul isn’t a human one, what if im not human, maybe human in body, but surely not in mind and soul…
Are soul and spirit the same?
Motivation, what emotions drive me to action? Passion? Delight? Anger?

My Tora is gone...I dont know what to do...

*lays head down on the ground, ears drooped*

Let's watch it burn
Let's watch it burn
Let's watch this city burn the world

Let's watch this city burn
From the sky over top the world
Til there's nothing left of her
Let's watch this city burn the world

watch things turn to ash
With two empty cans of gas
The only evidence they have
Is the police catch on my mask
And its hardly time to ask
If you can save my heart for last

And its hard to face the facts
When the darkness fades to black
It's not just make beleive
When they make me take a seat
And they put amphetamines
in the air and make me breath

So come on and grab your children
Look out for burning buildings
And civillians who perish
they kill them by the million
And billionss of people die
For a lost cause

So now I pray for my nation
thats destroyed under god

(it's the end of the world)
All my battles have been won
But the war has just begun

Let's watch this city burn
From the sky over top the world
Till there's nothing left in her
Let's watch the city burn away

The city looks so pretty
Do you wanna burn it with me?
Till the skies bleed ashes
And the f**kin sky crashes

We make ashes just with matches
To ignite the flame
And all the hopes of a young teen
F**kin insane stays the same

Take the pill
And go get drunk
And go get killed
Double dose
Acid life and acid death
Breathing till there is no breath

I will not die in the night but in the light
of the sun and the ashes
of this world in my lungs

But who am I to say
Lets all just run away
Go grab your friends and pray
We're gonna rule the world today

(it's the end of the world)
it's the end of the earth
We've been done since our birth

Let's watch this city burn
From the sky over top the world
Till there's nothing left in her
Let's watch the city burn the world

(Let's watch it burn)X2
The city looks so pretty
do you wanna burn it with me?
The city looks so pretty
do you wanna burn it with me?
The city looks so pretty
do you wanna burn it with me?

We use the trees as torches
(Do you wanna burn it with me?)
dot the streets with corpses
(Do you wanna burn it with me?)
we watch the city f**kin bleed
(Do you wanna burn it with me?)
and Bring the world to its knees
(Do you wanna burn it with me?)

Let's watch this city burn
From the sky over top the world
Til there's nothing left in her
Let's watch this city burn the world
Let's watch this city burn
From the sky over top the world
Til there's nothing left in her
Let's watch this city burn the world

Let's watch it burn
Let's watch it burn
Let's watch this city burn the world

Finally, the only thing to make me happy today is one song...

Last night, I sat in my car for over two hours watching the most amazing thunderstorm ive ever seen. Lighting flashed and arched every second for the whole duration, it was just one after another, sometimes 3 or 4 at a time, the rain was in huge drops and it hailed heavily...so beautiful...I felt so at peace...

Then, today at work, I crawls up the stairs of an apartment on all fours, as I always do, and one of the little girls that lived there followed me up and asked me; "Um...are you an animal?" I replied; "Yes, I am..." She smiled all big and giggled and proceeded to follow me up the stairs several times on all fours with me...

It warmed my heart, when I sire offspring, they will be female...

73 people deleted off my list...the last 28 of you, are my Elite...you still matter to me...