[The Commander]'s diary

6360  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-02-12
Written: (6305 days ago)

Well, I know you can't work in fast food all your life
But don't sign that paper tonight, she said, but it's too late.
I don't remember what I read, I don't remember what they said,
I guess it doesn't matter, I guess it doesn't matter anymore
'Cause you're gonna go to the record store
You're gonna give'em all your money
Radio plays what they want you to hear
They tell me it's cool but I just don't believe it...

Sell out, with me oh yea, sell out, with me tonight
Record company's gonna give me lots of money
And everything's gonna be all right
No more flippin' burgers puttin' on my silly hat
You know I don't want that no more,
I didn't ask when we'd get paid,
I quit my day job anyway,
I guess it doesn't matter, I guess it doesn't matter anymore

You're gonna go to the record store,
You're gonna give'em all your money,
Radio plays what they want you to hear,
They tell me it's cool, but i just don't believe it

Sell out, with me oh yea,
Sell out with me tonight,
The record company's gonna give me lots of money
And everything's gonna be alright.

I don't think it'll be so bad
And I know it won't be so bad
'Cause the man said "that's the way it is"
And the man said "it don't get better than this" no no no
So I signed on to the record company,
They say they're gonna give me lot's of money
If i play what they want you to hear
They tell me it's cool, and I sure believe it...

5903  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-01-16
Written: (6333 days ago)

Do you remember what happened a year ago from today?

365 days ago, I asked a girl out. I had met at the worst point of her life. Darkness was closing in, suicide tormented the mind, and all hope had been lost. Self-degregation, disloyal friends, hateful parents, a troubled past all surrounded her. Darkness was closing in on this girl, with no possibility of a brighter future…

For about a month I had been talking to this girl at school and online. The day I walked into that cafeteria before i met her, I felt something….i couldn’t put my finger on it until now. I learned much about what lay within the blackness in her heart and soul, and began helping her through it. Not out of self-pity, but out of intrinsic nature. We got closer each day, and became good friends. Little did she know I was looking into her soul everyday and seeing something great, yet to be unlocked. And in this something, I found the girl I wanted in my life. Deciding to put everything out on the limb, I asked those faithful words: “Will you be my girlfriend?” Instead of denial, I received, “yes”, and the story continued….

A torch had been lit.

Over the last year, I penetrated her soul with my eyes and sought out her impurities. As the weeks, then months went by, I talked her through the hard times and infused my strength into her. Where she doubted I could succeed, I conquered. Where I conquered, the torch burned brighter, revealing more of herself than she had ever seen. For this she was grateful…and one day, a collar was presented. She took it and wore it with pride, for it was not just a symbol of ownership. It signified, “I have given my mind, body, and soul to this person.” And to that, I pledged to protect them from all eternity. But it also showed that she found someone great, who knew her more than she could ever know herself. 

This girl began to open her eyes and see this light around her, and from it, drew strength.

Through the good times and bad times, this strength kept them together. No matter what the other would do, both could find the strength to forgive the other. This only made them stronger. As friends stabbed our backs, we grew stronger. As false accusations and punishments were made, we grew stronger. As more opportunities were created, we grew stronger. As more of what he said came true, she grew more attached to him. As he kept revealing the girl of his dreams within her darkness, he became closer to her. To this day, this continues to go on, an only strengthen a relationship all others thought would fail…

Barriers have been torn down. New hope has been created. A bright future glows in the distance. And I know she will be by my side, through the easy and hard times, to help see me through them. And I the same. A thousand torches burn illuminate this dark world, and each day they light another. From behind the clouds, a sun is appearing. Soon, the dark world which would have consumed her will vanish in the brightness of our relationship. 

This girl means so much to me…she is the love of my life. Most people say that out of lust for their partner. But the love I talk about stems from something that has been proven many times over the last year. This girl…is intelligent. She is a queen amongst the deck, a caring person amongst the hateful, and a guardian to those who deserve it. God…there are so many traits I can see that she has yet to know. In time, she will discover who I see, and we will both love that person. For this person is the foundation for our relationship, for our love, for the last 365 days we have come to know her.

And this girl, is Abbie Schreier.


1 year down, the future to go...I love you with all that is me, my queen.

5767  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-01-09
Written: (6339 days ago)

Some call me a loser
Some call me a cheater
Some say I'm a selfish untalented dreamer
Cause all's I try to do is keep my dream alive
But it's so hard to do when your working 9 to 5
I've never been one afraid to die
But I'm afraid to leave behind
The precious life that grows through the sands of time
Cause now I've got two daughters
And I know they need their father
To help them make it through all of the devious things that people do
Cause every moment counts from the good times to the bad
I don't have time to envy those that got things I've never had
Cause the one thing most important is the one we take for granted
And until your life is on that line I think it's the way god had planned it
To open up your eyes and make you realize
That to some life is money
But what's money without life
Cause all's I need is the air that I breathe
And my friends and family to believe in me

[Hook]
As deep as the abyss where the waters run
As deep as the land of the rising sun
You know I'm down
And even when them odds are against us
It doesn't even matter
Nothing else matters

We bleed the same blood
We cry the same tears
We have the same fears
We pass the same years
We see the same stars
Under the same skies
We pass the same time
We all live and die
Cause friends and family wash thicker than blood
And if ya' never felt love than I feel for you cuz'
Cuz' lives pass above us in 747's
Deceased dwell below us
Before they go to heaven
Everything in between will hassle me
Some stay connected while other keep dreaming
Looking for that meaning but the lost can't be found
Drop to your caps and pray
Now can ya' hear the sound?
Do ya' feel it?
Now do ya' feel it comin'?
Two triple zero the hunters are the hunted
Electrical currents conflict with the spirits
Ah do ya' hear it ah or do ya' feel it?
Deep like seven leagues life intrigues intelligence
Got no time for clutter, you're late if there's hesitance
Put your foot forward and there will be a helping hand
Take a step back and your stuck in the quick sand
Ingesting toxins keeps us locked in, a mental jail trap
99' where's your family at

[Bridge]
Oh, and I might fail
Oh, I might succeed
Whatever the outcome is
Just keep your faith in me
Just believe in me
And I will be there [repeat hook]

 The logged in version 

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