[nekromantix]'s diary

17859  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2009-03-21
Written: (5520 days ago)

So lately I've been thinking about my friend Jessie. We use to have such a friendship, no one could tear us apart. But what did tear us apart was my love for Josh. I was dumb founded with love I didn't give my best friends the time of day I should have. It was my fault, I admit it, and I did to them after I realized what I did to them. But at the time they pushed me out of their lives I wasn't with Josh (for a whole other story) and the reason they pushed me out was because of Josh. (Pretty much an unneeded fight between us)

For the longest time both Jessie and Jess kept me out of their lives, Jessie being the one who pushed lies into Jess's head. This killed me to the point where I did nothing everyday. I would just sit around the house actually wanting to do school work (as much as I could) just to keep my mind off everything I didn't want to think about. What made it worse was that Jess was in my 3rd block and sat right behind me, so I couldn't help but think about everything that was going on between us. I was so paranoid that they hated me, in class, I thought I could hear her talking about me and then just acting like I wasn't alive when I saw her.

A couple of months past and I guess the seperation of me and Jess just got to her. And she finally talked to me. It was kinda funny now because she didn't know what to say so she tapped me on the shoulder and said "You had Mr.Lewis right?", I said yeah and she went on to say "Did he ever let you re-take those quizzes you missed? 'Cause he won't let me so I just got mad and stood up and called him a 'douche bag'". That night her parents came over to visit mine and she asked if it was okay if she came along. We talked for hours and she told me what Jessie had said about me, well about the 'situation', and how much she has changed. We also came to the conclusion that Jessie just wanted Jess to herself. She was the same with me.

Jess and I are best friends again, and my life fills more complete with her.
Jessie on the other hand doesn't really take interest in being my friend or even Jess for that matter. She pointed her finger and ruined the best friendships I have ever had and then she goes around sleeping around with every guy she can then getting with her brothers best friend(wayne) for about 10 years and doing exactly what I did.

The first time I 'hung out' with Jessie after the 'fight' was very very uncomfortable for me. I got there and everything was cool, then she was all over Wayne, like wrestling with him the whole time I was there. He lives with her and her parents(which already know him from her brother) and you would think she spends enough time with him she could spend a couple hours with a friend. She won't even go anywhere without him, she says she doesn't just want to leave him there at her house. I never did that to my friends. When they hung out with me and Josh I hung out with my friends, I wasn't all over Josh and ignored my friends. We made time for us and time for us and our friends.

I feel she wronged me. I know I wronged her and Jess, but I made peace with that and so did Jess and now we're better than ever. We plan to move into our own apartment and split the rent/etc. and get a dog together(Jim Lennon Marley), haha.

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