To everyone I've been speaking to while trying to speak to over the past few days all I can say is I'm sorry I'm in a really dark place I'm depressed all the time long story short somebody pushed all the wrong buttons and made me realize how lonely I am if I'm being honest I want to die
I've been in rough shape lately anxiety is constantly getting the better of me and it's starting to affect my health my chest hurts fairly often it feels like I'm having trouble breathing although it might just be a small cough I don't know I've been to the hospital like three or four times this month
To anyone that I've spoken to or the past month or so I guess I would like to apologize for my behavior for some reason I can't quite explain marijuana brings out a lot of my negative emotions I don't smoke but I grow it in the face man mostly to help ends meet at home I also forget about what it does to me until it's sort of too late I honestly didn't want to write this at all because it felt like I was using the pot as a scapegoat I don't really take you back most of what I said I just think I could have handled things better and again I am sorry
If you ever want to psychologicall
For those who know me you know pretty well I'm pretty paranoid person for some reason I can't explain I've been getting the feeling constantly the people are talking behind my back even though I know that they would have no reason to I've been feeling really really anxious all the time it feels like the room is getting smaller constantly I even get this feeling when I'm outside it seems like the only time I don't feel paranoid or claustrophobic is when I wake up in the morning and then it kicks in really bad about 5 or 6
Woke up this morning freaked out because my pillow was covered in blood the weirdest part was no one could find any trace of blood anywhere on me
I'm going to say something that I've been holding back for a very very very long time I'm not overly fond of this site don't get me wrong I met some great people there are certain aspects of this site to get on my nerves I can appreciate a beautiful body as much as the next guy but there are a lot of people on here that seem to be here just to be told they are beautiful granted most of them are right but I can't stand arrogance the worst part of this site are the lesbians I'm not homophobic most of the lesbians on here seem really entitled and bitchey which frankly I get the feeling that they are guys in disguise
somtimes i dont understand why i do the things i do im not super big into disney stuff but i could anser just about any question about the parks even really obskyer shit no sane person would think to ask somhow it brings me a small smount of comfert i dont know why seems like i lost most of my friends im constinley having panick attacks and i rarley sleep even with meds
i gess im writing this because it feels better then randomley messiging 1 person
Why is continuing to care about or having feelings for the ex-girlfriend or someone that screwed you over such an alien concept why do people expect you to shut your feelings off you can't just automatically stopped caring just because someone else says so I'm not trying to be passive aggressive here it's just if I post this on Facebook or anywhere else I'm going to get lecture from people whose opinions mean next to nothing to me and I'd rather just save time and write it here
If these past few months have taught me anything it's that life is short and you never know when your number's up my advice to everyone here is make the most of what time do you have left if you haven't spoken to your mom in a while tell her you love her same with your father if you feel you've wronged someone apologize if things ended badly with an ex try to mend things even if you don't intend to get back together with them don't leave anything unsaid because there's a good chance we might all be dead for years from now
for a long time a friend of mine went on these stupid long rants about how people are a plage on the earth hes a retard so i never lissin to him although i think to an extent hes right .... over the past few munths i watched 1 man tern almost all my friends into bitchie neo nazi ,,,,,,its trooley heartbraking
having ning nightmars 3 nights in a row last night i had 1 i got choped up by somone with a hachit night b4 that i got shot night b4 that ... dont remeber much exept i was screeming alot
what id give
id give yiu the moon id give u the skys id give you the stars if they wernt in your eays id give you my cash a dimend or 2 because it all seems werthless when i look at you id give you the sun but its in your smile so ill give you my heart take it 4 a wile
somthing i wrote a few days ago
https://www.yo
just felt apreyit to post here
somthing iv been meaning to say 4 a wile as most people who no me here have noticed i havent been here in god no how long manley becase most if not alll the people i care 2 talk 2 r on skyp or facebook but one thing i cant fuckingstand is when people leave the site and make a huge fucking spektikl of themselvs they delete there intiyer profile or write 3 page fucking essay on y they left then change there user to im gone or somthing witch wouldnt be a big deal exsept they still log in if you are going to make a huge thing out of going y come back
can someone please tell me y nothing i do is ever good enuf
because i dont want like 50 responsis from relitivs on facebook ill ask here .... is moralitey over rated?
ill b here if u need me
what the fuck is rong with me i cant think strate