How to give a cat a pill

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.Curious cat picture

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10) Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

I don't feel a thing
and I stopped remembering
The days are just like moments turned to hours

Mother Used to say
if you want, you'll find a way
Bet mother never danced through fire shower

Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain
I walk in the rain, in the rain
Is it right or is it wrong
and is it here that I belong

I don't hear a sound
Silent faces in the ground
The quiet screams, but I refuse to listen

If there is a hell
I'm sure this is how it smells
Wish this were a dream, but no, it isn't

Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain
I walk in the rain, in the rain
Am I right or am I wrong
and is it here that I belong

Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain
I walk in the rain, in the rain
Why do I feel so alone
For some reason I think of home


No, this is NOT an emo poem I wrote. This is the song 'Rain' from Cowboy Bebop, from the episode Fallen Angels (Awesome episode AND show!)...Loved the tune and found the lyrics, but had nowhere to put them...so I put them here!

It's true

Too true...Join the true 'l337' speakers.

Strange days a transitional place
I think it's time that you remember
cut off your ears tear out your eyes
some things are gone forever

Let's start by destroying the world you know
take away all the things that you control
all the words that you can't understand
they've made me what you think i am

trying to move things with our minds
in an attempt to travel back in time
to take away all the pain we've seen
to strip our minds and destroy our dreams

life medicates the tears we cry
made of materials that blind our eyes
fall unconscious in an altered state
focus hard before its to late

lunatic craze the end of our days
some things are better left unsaid
delete the truth and what it means to you
create your own inside your head

let's end by ignoring the world we know
embrace all the things we cant control
all the lies that I'll never understand
make me hate what you think i am

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No it's not. Please it's too scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: Fine I love you. Slow down!

Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.

Girl : *hugs him*

Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me.

Girl: Alright, now slow down

Guy: I love you babe


(in the paper the next day):
A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it, but only 1 had survived.
The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then he had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.

Okay this is a bit random, but it stems from the people in my area. Besides the wanna-be punk gangsters with no shame, another thing I see far too much is people trying to look and act like a 'cowboy' or a 'trucker' or some 'southern pride' idealist with the vocabulary of a failed abortion!

Seriously guys! GIVE IT UP! I see people with these gigantic four by four, seventy million horse power diesel trucks...On fucking paved streets! What good does all that power do? Here in Colorado, the weather fluctuates. True, we do occasionally get the bit of weather that allows for three feet of snow to pile onto our doorsteps....Does it last though? Of course not. These moron spends between forty and seventy thousand dollars on a truck that can pull a mountain out by it's roots...to do what? Pick up groceries? Please, that just screams over compensation.

Next, these guys with the tight denim pants, the plaid shirts, and the cowboy hats...Seriously, what is this? A dude ranch? For Christs sake, I live in a middle class suburb in a rural community which is in the center of a city (Loveland) that holds a hundred plus thousand people! What are they going to do? Drive cattle past the local Starbucks or something? And what is with the gigantic, seventeen pound belt buckles? I've seen some that are almost as big as my head, are as gaudy as christmas decorations, and look as if they were smelted out of a lump of molten steel!

Last, when I see these guys (the younger ones anyway) with aforementioned trucks (except older, beat to hell, and covered with mud), and on the back they have posted over their rear window a confederate flag as well as a bumper sticker that states, plainly, "The South Will Rise Again!"

.
.
.
.
.
.

Rise again? To do what, pray tell? Think about it fellas, you lost the Civil war. What would you do?

"YE-HAWWWW! Let's grab the guns and round us up a posse, we're goin' to da town square to protest black people gettin' paid!"

Sorry guys, the South doesn't have much to rise from. In my opinion, some of the stereotypes that got pasted onto you seems to have earned you a pretty bad reputation, and the guys I see walking around with their brand new camouflage boots with rhinestone studs, boasting how to they took out that ten pointer from forty yards with their daddies twelve gauge isn't helping us change our minds any...

So, wrapping this up, the South isn't going to rise again. Real cowboys dress nothing like the idiots I see strutting down my street. Belt buckles? Melt them down, form them into bullets, and shoot yourselves. It's stupid, you look like an idiot, your ruining our collective intelligence, your giving our country a bad rep, and everyone that isn't in your 'circle' is either snickering about your rhinestone boots or glowering at you as they feel their I.Q. melting away due to your over-powering stupidity.

Thank you, end rant...

Isn't this the truth?

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

(Imagine singing this traipsing little ditty in you head with morbid, maniacal grin on your face...kind of liek the Ginger Cat from Alice in Wonderland!)


Tick-Tock
goes the clock
Counting down the time

Counting off
the minutes left
Until we lose
Ourselves in Death

So rest in Peace
The worms will feast
Underneath the Hands of Time

http://www.pinkgodzillagames.com/pink_godzilla_news/pope_stuff_work_in_progress.php

Found this, raised an eyebrow, and started laughing hysterically. Why? Because I can relate to this....after all, I'm a gamer!

Gamers Make Pope Angry. You Wouldn't Like It When He's Angry.

A few weeks ago, Pope Benedict XVI hopped on the bandwagon of videogame haters. During a World Day of Communications address, His Holiness called the violence and sex in games "perverse" and "repulsive."

With the Pope now on our case, does this mean that all gamers are doomed to an eternity of hellfire, brimstone, and Superman 64? Today we explore a few ways to appease The Vatican while still enjoying our filthy, sinful pastime.

Some of you may be asking if this news is really that big of a deal. Just about every public figure and armchair moralist has condemned video games by now, what difference would it make if the Pope jumps on the pile? After all, the Pope is just one man (albeit with an excellent choice in hats). What does it matter if he says games are bad?

The answer lies in the Catholic Dogma of Papal Infallibility. That basically means that the Pope is never wrong, about anything, ever. When he says something, about anything, such as "2+2=5" or "Uwe Boll is a fantastic filmmaker" then that becomes law and you better fall in line or face the consequences.

So if the Pope is mad at you, is it really all that bad? So what if the Pope doesn't like videogames, it's not like he's going to come and take them from you, right? Unfortunately, history says otherwise. Much like Mr. Biggleworth, when the Pope gets upset, people die! The Crusades, the Inquisition, and Mark Ecko's Getting Up stand as examples of what happens when you cross the Pope. And while he might not have as big of a posse as he did back in the day, he's still pretty formidable.

So how can we continue to enjoy the hobby we all love without having to worry about the Pope and his crew getting all up in our business? PG's Eternal Damnation Avoidance Bureau have compiled a few surefire ways to take the heat off of gamers (and put it back onto the movie and music industries where it belongs).

Step 1: Watch your Character Alignment.

The first step to convincing the Pope that we're not all sociopathic, meglomaniacal murderers is to stop playing as sociopathic, meglomaniacal murderers in our games. In games like Fable and Knights of the Old Republic, you can choose to either play as a law abiding, altruistic do-gooder or a malicious cold-blooded criminal. Now most people will pick the evil character. It's not entirely their fault, the bad guys always have the cooler moves and better looking gear. If you were given supreme powers, would you rather cast dopey healing spells or call destruction from the heavens with arcane magic?

Unfortunately, playing the evil character, no matter how cool he is, will put you right on the Pope's naughty list. You have to resist the dark side and always play as the goody two-shoes (only Lawful Good characters for all you D&D players). This means always helping the simple villagers with any and all mundane fetch quests they foist on you. No stealing or lock-picking, no matter how many rupees or cool stat-boosting items you have to forgo. And most importantly, absolutely no wanton murder. Killing random NPCs for your own amusement may seem like a good idea at the time, but if the Pope catches you, it's curtains.

Of course, killing, stealing, and other assorted mayhem is perfectly acceptable if you're doing it in the service of good. Mario stomping Goombas left and right may seem like cruel genocide to the untrained eye, but he's really just doing it to save the princess and stop Bowser's evil machinations. So remember, if the Pope sees you engaging in some random acts of violence, be sure to tell him that you were just doing it to save the Mushroom Kingdom.


Step 2: Decoy Games.

Nobody is going to believe that you're not some sort of crazy murderer in training when your game library is filled with violent-sounding titles like "Warcraft", "Soul Reaver", "Revengers of Vengeance", and "White Men Can't Jump." What you need to do is hide all of those gruesome games and replace them with benign, cutesy sounding games like We Love Katamari, Hello Kitty's Magical Island Adventure, and A Boy and His Blob. It's very hard to accuse someone of being a psychopath when their shelves are stocked with the latest Spongebob Squarepants titles.

To score even more points with the Pope, head on down to your favorite local retro gaming shop and grab a copy of the unlicensed NES game Bible Adventures. Bible Adventures was a simple platforming game in which you performed tasks like fetching animals for Noah's ark or fishing baby Moses from out of the river. It isn't a terribly inspiring game, but it will certainly impress the Pope. There is no possible way the Pope and his goon squad could take away your precious games if you're sporting a copy of Bible Adventures.

Rare Game Alert!: If you're looking for both a way to get the Pope off of your back, and another rare game for your collection, be on the lookout for Super 3D Noah's Ark for the SNES. This game was an early model of a First Person Shooter that ran off of the Wolfenstein 3D engine. Instead of butchering Nazis, however, you were simply feeding hungry animals. This game is notable because it is one of the few unlicensed SNES games to ever see the light of day. (What is it with religious games and blatant licensing violations?).


Step 3: Go Old School.

If you really want to throw the Pope and his morality police off of your case, try not to play any games made after 1985.

pitfall.png

Back in the glory days of the Intellivision and Atari VCS, graphics were so primitive and game premises were so simplistic that it is often difficult to tell at first glance what you were really playing. You could be playing one of the hardcore pornographic games that the Atari 2600 was famous for, and it would look the same as if you were playing a harmless sports title. This was because technology was not very advanced back then. Most early games relied more on imagination (which, according to our scientists, was some sort of illicit drug that has thankfully been nearly eliminated) and plastic overlays for your TV, than any graphical prowess for storytelling. The next time the Pope comes snooping around your house, simply dust off the old Colecovision and throw in your copy of Zaxxon, he'll be so confused by the archaic technology that he probably won't even think you're playing a videogame.

Rare Game Alert! Part Two!: Speaking of naughty old Atari games, one of the most famous examples of the genre is Custer's Revenge for the 2600. In this game you star as the infamous General George Custer, as he attempts to do dirty, dirty things with a Native American girl. Although this wasn't the only X-Rated 2600 game, it is the most well-known. This might be because of its "storyline" or because it stars a somewhat famous historical figure. Either way, while we acknowledge the collectible value of this game, we suggest that if you must buy it, be sure to keep it someplace where the kids (and the Pope) won't see it.

Those are just a few of the PG tested, Pope approved ways to keep your games and avoid eternal damnation. However, if all else fails, you can always just do what everyone else did and simply repent. While we certainly don't condone violating Papal edicts, it's nice to know that there's a way out if you accidentally get caught playing Michael Jackson's Moonwalker.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn


Roughly? "In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."


So remember kids,

  That is not dead which can eternal lie.
  And with strange æons even death may die

Because the secret priests will take great Cthulhu from His tomb to revive His subjects and resume His rule of earth....Then mankind would have become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and reveling in joy. Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBKUnewvl8c


This song by Breaking Benjamin makes me cry every time I listen to it...And when I mean everytime? I mean...Every...fuckin'...time....

A small collection of the many internet acronyms we see....Any I missed? Send me it, along with it's 'translation' and I'll add it!

(NOTE: I do not want the little random things like IK for I know, and the like. If the acronym is used repeatedly, then I will put it in)


LOL- Laugh out loud

LMAO- Laughing My Ass Off

LQTM- Laughing Quietly to Myself

AFK- Away from Keyboard

BRB- Be Right Back

STFU- Shut the fuck up

LMFAO- Laughing my Fucking Ass off

ROFL- Rolling on Floor Laughing

LARP- Live Action Role-Play(er)

MMORPG- Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game

ROTFL- Rolling on the Floor Laughing

GTFO- Get the Fuck Out

MF- Mother-fucker

TMI- Too Much Information  <------I seem to hear this one a lot from people

FPS- First Person Shooter

W/E- Whatever

N/M- Nevermind

WTF- What the Fuck

WTFWJD- What the Fuck Would Jesus Do?

OMG- Oh My God(s)!

WOOT- We Own the Other Team

TTYL- Talk to You Later

TTMF- Ta-ta Mother fucker

IDK- I Don’t Know

B/F or G/F- Boyfriend or Girlfriend

MYOB- Mind Your Own Business

TCFPWASATOSMP- The Council For People Who Are Sick and Tired of Seeing More People

If you EVER say you are Goth, then you are proclaiming that this is who you are. It doesn't mean "I'm dark and morbid and write poetry that replicates my looks", but instead holds a different meaning entirely, and it may not be what you expect. Do your research, and know what you are saying...


The Goths (Gothic: Gutans) were East Germanic tribes who, in the 3rd and 4th centuries, harried the Roman Empire and later adopted Arianism (a form of Christianity). In the 5th and 6th centuries, divided as the Visigoths and the Ostrogoths, they established powerful successor-states of the Roman Empire in the Iberian peninsula and Italy, respectively.

The Visigoths were one of two main branches of the Goths, (the Ostrogoths being the other) during the fifth century. Together these tribes were among the Germanic peoples who disturbed the late Roman Empire during the Migration Period. A Visigothic force led by Alaric I sacked Rome in 410. Honorius granted the Visigoths Aquitania, where they defeated the Vandals and by 475 ruled most of the Iberian peninsula.

OR!!!

Gothic architecture is a style of architecture which flourished in Europe during the high and late medieval period. It evolved from Romanesque architecture and was succeeded by Renaissance architecture.

Originating in 12th-century France and lasting into the 16th century, Gothic architecture was known during the period as "the French Style" (Opus Francigenum), with the term Gothic first appearing during the latter part of the Renaissance as a stylistic insult. Its characteristic features include the pointed arch, the ribbed vault and the flying buttress.

OR!!!

Gothic is an extinct Germanic language that was spoken by the Goths. It is known primarily from Codex Argenteus, a 6th century copy of a 4th century Bible translation, and is the only East Germanic language with a sizeable corpus. All others, including Burgundian and Vandalic, are known, if at all, only from proper names that survived in historical accounts.



Thusly, if you say you are 'Goth', you are saying you are A.) Part of the Germanic people that invaded Rome, B.) Are a style of building, or C.) a dead language.


So, what are you?

Here's my rant for the month.



If discrimination is considered bad here on earth, then shouldn't it be considered bad in heaven? The answer is...


Yes. And everyone who disagrees will be pointing out that God is the root of discrimination and thusly not a diety worth worshipping anyway.

Point being, either you are wrong because the God in religion is wrong, or you are wrong because you yourself are discriminatory.

Either way, 'Being tender knows no gender'.

Okay, I need to speak up about something that has been bothering for some time yet.

What is with these wide-rimmed trucker-style hats, sporting the big, golden sticker or the smaller, less obvious silver sticker? Can anybody tell me what the purpose of the stickers are? Because for the past six months, every 'preppy cool' guy I've seen has this gigantically - disproportioned hat set at a jaunty angle upon their head, with a disturbingly noticeable smear of gold on the overly-large rim. Besides the hats looking absolutely retarded, they appear to serve no ACTUAL purpose! Hats were first developed to keep sun out of one's eyes; how does it achieve this when your hat is knocked askew and whipped to the side, or completely reversed to face the incorrect direction? I'll be honest with you people. It looks stupid. Glaringly, pathetically stupid. You look like a fool and your hat makes your head look fat. I even asked around about what the whole 'deal' was. The common response? "It's cool" or "It's a fad". First, it's not cool. It just shows how gullible and easy to please you really are, and how sick for attention you need to be to fall so low as to think a nauseatingly bright gold sticker can make you 'cool'. Two, fads do, and should, fade...hopefully quickly. Why? Because they are irrepressibly superfluous. They serve no purpose other than to bring a section of shame into one's generation, making us look back at our younger years and state, with shocked surprise "Dear God did I actually wear that?"


On another note, what is with the piercings everywhere and the 'gauging' of one's ears? I was walking through my work the other day and I nearly walked into a woman who had two studs through the bridge of her nose, a bull-style nose ring, a nose stud, three piercings through each eyebrow, three lip piercings (Left right and center on her bottom lip), two piercings on her upper lip, and below her lip, above her chin, were two gigantic fang-shaped piercings that hung past her chin. My assumption? To make her look either like a dog or a vampire. She failed at both, if that was what she was going for. Ah, and let's not forget about the fifteen piercings she had on each ear.


This is the norm for today's generation, correct? Wrong. This woman was in her late thirties, early forties, complete with wrinkles and too much make-up. I honestly wanted to ask her why she was dressed for Halloween so late in the year, but wanting to keep my job made me hold my tongue.

But this proves my point! Why do you want to pierce FORTY DIFFERENT PLACES on your body, when, as you grow older, you will either remove them and end up looking like a punctured volleyball, or keep them in and look like a complete retard? There simply is no basis for it, and 'cultural heritage' or some such excuse does not apply here. It's a fallacy, and you know it!

But this also applies to ear gauging. I understand that you want a bigger, cooler earring in your ear, I too had my ear gauged A LITTLE to fit in the one I wear now. The earring is three times the thickness of a needle. Difference? Not noticeable. But I've seen people that don't WEAR EARRINGS! They simply put in these curious little wheel-shaped objects that keep their earlobe open. I guess so that when the wind whistles through it and makes music, they can listen to it.

AND THEY KEEP GETTING BIGGER! There was a man I stood behind in line this past week and he had a gauger in his ear that was so large, I swear it to you on my life, that I could stick my finger in and out of it a dozen times, without touching any of the sides once. He didn't notice, even while I did it, but the cashier was laughing hyterically. I had to stop when he turned around and glared at me, but I was already laughing to myself and didn't care. To say the least, he wasn't pleased. But do these morons honestly understand the consequences of their actions? What are his grandkids (God forbid) going to say?

"Grandpa, why do you have a huge hole in your ear?"

His only plausible response SHOULD be:

"I was a freakin' retarded kid and shoved wheels into my ears to make myself 'cool'"

Anybody see the lack of sense here? Anyone at all? If not, euthanasia is the medication I prescribe for you, as well as a deep drink from a shotgun barrel. People like this are ruining the collective intelligence of our species and are dragging us back into the primordial goo we worked so hard to crawl out of, just as rap and wannabe 'gangsters' are doing the same.


And so, in closing, I need to say this. If you do any of the above? Stop. You look stupid, and the half of our species that see past your false-bravado bullshit know how pathetic you really are. Why? Because you look like the village idiot from the Medieval times, with more expensive 'brand-name' clothing than your predecessor did.

If you are dating someone like you see above? Dump his ass. He's a punk, and all that layered sweetness he puts on to charm you and your giggly friends is just a facade he uses to get into your gullible pants and to get him laid. Eventually, you WILL feel embarrassed to be out in public with him, or you'll demand the offending objects removed and the holes sewn shut.

If I have offended anybody that has read this, I will not apologize. I have seen so much of the stupidity running rampant, I fear that it may be viral. Instead of taking offense, perhaps you should learn from the statements above, and take the proper course of action necessary to either smarten up, or rid yourself from the world in a very visually appealing manner. i.e. Cliff diving without a parachute or playing chicken with a train. The manner in which you dispose of yourself doesn't bother me, just the evidence that you did it right and aren't going to limp away, breed, and spread the idiocy onto the next generation.


Now that I have vented my frustrations with today's youth culture, I'm going to go read a decent book, eat a delicious meal, then take a nice bath and imagine that the ineptitude of so many people will eventually cleanse the stupidity 'Darwin Awards' style, to be published later for our amusement.



Thank You,

Nekko

A Proud Homophobe is the same as a Naive Child

They are both uneducated, foolish, full of opinions, misinformation, and are commonly looked upon with a sense of resigned tolerance. They are there, and we have to deal with them, though nuetering will probably take the fight out of both of them, and quickly.


I just pittered through some wanker's house who's only picture says 'Straight love is the only love.'

This comes from somebody whose family, forty-fifty years ago, probably were at the hate rallies condemning interracial marriages.

In essence, people need to shut up. This pedantic dweeb is proud of being a bigot, and a homophobe, and makes it clear that he enjoys such disparaging titles. Do you know what I think? Bullshit like this is passed down through the media and through direct sources (i.e. parents and grandparents). This self-proclaimed 'honour' is nothing more than regurgitated philosophy that holds no basis in reality.  Close-minded fools like him and the majority of people in certain religious cultures find something wrong with that kind of love.

But about that. Straight love is the only love? That's essentially categorizing love; that's not possible. In the end, you would have to marry people so they match. Same skin color, same hair, eyes, height, weight, eyebrow length. If you did anything BUT drag this categorization of love down to this extreme, you are being hypocritical, and I will stand by, and back up, this proclamation.

'Boy + boy + girl + girl'

A boy can love another boy as much as a girl, and girls can love girls as much as they love boys.

There is nothing wrong with it. In a nutshell, love is nothing more than a biological chemical combination that is released into the brain and body to stimulate reactions to the object of your interest. MEANING: It doesn't matter if your getting aroused seeing your girlfriend undress, or that cute boy in the locker room pulling his shirt off. It's the SAME chemicals, no matter what.

So, to say it's wrong is opinionated foolishness that, as said before, holds NO basis in reality. To say that it is the ONLY love is close-minded. People who hate other people for loving another person, same sex or no, are merely screaming out their lack of self-identity, and are pitiably worthless. They merely want to draw attention to themselves in order to spread their plebianic views into a world of people who either love them for their forthright knowledge (second-hand knowledge, as a matter of fact, that is also woefully inaccurate), or people that hate them for their lack of compassion, understanding, and sense of humanity.













I will make this clear. If I offended you because you are a homophobe; GOOD! GROW THE HELL UP! This isn't the inquisition people, it's the 21st century, and shit is changing! Time to get past your neo-religious ideals of self-modeled perfection and learn to live with what life has dealt you. So the boy next door likes to kiss boys, then fucks them from behind in a pleasurable night of lovemaking. What's it to you? Are you injured? No. In danger? No. Anywhere close to being in a position that will require you to protect your own life, possessions, and family? No.

Your being anal-retentive, naive, and opinionated. If the two boys fuck, it does not affect you. The only time you have cause for complaint is if someone attempts to rape you; but, if you are one of the homophobes mentioned before, then you certainly deserve it. THEN you can complain about how bad we are.

Assholes....

Posted on www.craigslist.com in order to shut down our local 'No-kill' shelter.

And, as a note, and I swear to this, if you read the message below and STILL are mad at me for wanting this place shut down, I will (if we have one) cut off our friendship, and label you as a sadist to everyone you know. You have no idea how intensely, aggressively against cruelty to animals I can be, and if you can still cheer for these people after all of this, I will hate you. End of story. I'm no PETA freak, but what they do is just sick and wrong and I will back my point up.
















Project Rex: First-Hand Experience

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Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here
Date: 2007-12-02, 1:43AM MST


I worked for the Project Rex shop. I can tell people firsthand what it was like for me. I was given the job of cleaning kennels. My pay was started as minimum wage. 6.85, right? No, the owner started me at 5.50, last years miminum wage. When confronted with the fact that the minimum wage had risen, he argued adamantly, saying that no bills were in order for any minimum wage hike. I was underpaid for nearly three weeks, but didn't argue lest I lose my job over it. As I mentioned before, I was hired to clean kennels. That is it. After two days, I was informed that I was needed to also 'clean the back room'. This was a seperate room where the sick or violent animals were kept out of sight. Since I've left they no longer use this room to house animals, but when I worked during the summer there was no air-conditioning, the air stank, the dogs and cats were fed out of bowls that were covered in the animals own fecal matter because there was no running water in the back room to wash the bowls clean. A week after I was hired, I was informed that I needed to clean the back rooms more quickly, that I needed to pick up the pace. Now, I was cleaning quickly, and scrubbing as best as humanly possible. With only one bucket, one hose, three scoopers, and one cleaning brush between three people, cleaning quickly was NOT an option. Yet it was demaned of me. I did not complain, but simply cleaned as quickly as I could without cutting corners. Finally, the owner 'showed' me how to clean. This involved him spraying the kennel once with water, running the scrub brush over it twice, then spraying it again with water. To say the least, the kennel was NOT clean, in the least, yet he told me that was how he expected me to clean. Quickly. I merely shrugged and gave it a go. I was later informed that I was still too slow, even after watching his demonstartion. I cleaned the entire back room in less than three hours, and, covered in sweat and panting like the dogs in that heat-choked room, I was informed that I should have had it cleaned in one and half. At the latest! I was then told that one of my co-workes easily cleans the entire back room in less than two hours, so obviously I should try to emulate her abilities. Ignoring the fact that the woman has worked there far, far longer than me (apparently, from the very beginning), and the fact that the back room was still filthy, I doubt even I could have done a half-a**ed job of it in that little time. To clean that quickly, I would have done NO cleaning whatsoever. And then, three weeks later, I was informed that I was supposed to have cleaned the entire back room, the sickroom, plus feed and water all the dogs LONG before I left so I could help attend the animals in the front. Now, if you would recall, my job description was 'clean kennels'. That is all. But, all of a sudden, I am doing an insufficient job because they 'inadvertantly forgot' to inform me that I had many more duties than I was previously told. To say it was impossible to do what they asked is an understatement, at best. And so, I was fired, because I wasn't doing the forty things they 'frogot' to mention in my job interview.

Sadly, people promote this shelter because it's 'no-kill'. This, coming from people who don't see the puppies as I did, eight or nine furry puppies standing knee-deep in their own excrement. These people didn't watch as I was told, by ALL THE EMPLOYEES, that to keep the puppies under wraps I must stick all of them into a carrier. Those eight or nine puppies? All forcibly placed into a cat carrier, slightly larger than a medium-sized television set, and left in there until we had finished cleaning their pens. Remember how long it took? Yes, three hours. No food. No water. Cramped. Unbelievably hot. Cruel.

And about the food and water. Until they had their store-room renovated (slightly), it was beyond disgusting. Bugs everywhere, food all over the floor. And they kept open bleach and disinfectant bottles RIGHT NEXT TO THE DOGFOOD AND BOWLS. I'm sorry, what? I thought bleach and disinfectant were notably TOXIC to living creatures. Or am I just crazy?

So, ignoring the fact that there are far too many dogs for the store to hold. Ignoring the inhumane treatment of the animals. Ignoring the poor cleaning job that is consistantly applied to their homes. Ignoring the fact they've failed far too many examinations and refuse, whenever possible, to be inspected. Ignoring the fact that people have picketed their store and left angry messages that the puppy or kitten they 'saved' from them, has recently died because of a disease contracted while staying there. Ignoring the fact that I had to lift a nine pound puppy out of it's kennel, which was literally over-flowing with diarrhea and urine, and found that when I cleaned it's paws I find that standing in it's own excrement for so long has literally eaten the pawds off of the puppies paws, leaving them bloody and raw.

If you can ignore all of these things, all of the sadness and pain these poor animals suffer day to day, hoping to be picked up by a good family only to die days after they find them, then there is something undeniably wrong with you.

'No-kill' shelter doesn't apply to this house of death. I have seen these people. They are not outright cruel, they are not evil, they are just regular people who love animals. But they can't afford it. They don't have the time or the staff or the facilities to do it. The fact of the matter is this:

I've worked there. I went home and cried so many times after spending my day with those darling little animals, seeing their hopeful, glittering eyes filled with love at seeing someone that will give them a caring pat on the head. And then I see the sores on their paw pads. The feces smeared and dried into their fur. The stench of urine. The whines of a puppy who can't walk because it's paws are bleeding. The passing glint of hopelessness in the older dogs eyes, the one who has resigned itself to living in a four by three foot box until it dies.

I can say, with all certainty and without pause, this place must be shut down. The humane society would be a better place for these animals. There is the chance they will get euthanized, but at least the animals aren't standing in their excrement for hours on end or dying from a long, drawn-out illness they get from standing in it. A quick end would be a better end than what I feel many of these animals are getting.

If you can still congratulate this shelter for being good or think that it's worth the risk, I feel naught but pity. And not for the heartless people who would rather let the animals suffer than put it down to ease it's misery. It's for those poor puppies. The kittens. The rabbits. The guinea pigs. The ferrets. All of the animals that are in this shelter. Seeing these poor animals and knowing that many will die, out of sight and stowed away in this oppressive place...

If this doesn't break your heart as it did mine, then I urge you. Work for them as I have. Spend three weeks doing a half-a**ed job cleaning their pens because you don't have time to do better. Hold the whimpering puppy close to you, covered in feces, and whisper that it will be alright, that it's all okay. Go in the next day to find that the cage that puppy was in is now empty because the puppy you held close to you died the night before because of the infection it got from the sores on it's paws being covered in poop all the time. Put your face in your hands and sob quietly as I did for the little nameless puppy who will never see a good family...


Work for them, work where I have worked, and then see if you have the audacity to make comments like 'saying this shelter is bad is unfair'. If you still can, you have no heart and have no place being near a shelter of any kind...Just as this building has no right ot be a 'shelter' for anything living.


it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Here's the skinny on what's up and what will be, so shut up your noise tubes and listen with your ears!

I WILL NOT be on for while. Think couple of weeks to the sad part of a months. DO NOT YELL AT ME FOR THIS! I am not responsible for this. Apparently Comcast deemed it fit to make my families bill $170 this months for the television and internet combined, when it's only supposed to be eighty dollars for phone/cable/AND internet. Rotten bastards as they are...Anyway, she can't pay it, and with her new job she gets paid only once a month, so don't be expecting me. Sorry everyone, and it breaks my heart (I was crying after she told me)...(Yes I know I'm a pansy)...but I hope to be back before the end of the month is out. Pray to Keth (God of Luck) that I'll be back sooner, okay?


Lots of love and the best of yiffings,

Nekko Fox

The Gamerz Sonnet


An ode to you Gamerz
With your skills on display
We all stare in awe
At your gruesome replay
Of your masterful win
Your bloody defeat
These games are a sin
But a wonderful treat
They keep us amused
They teach us of life
They teach of explosives,
Of killing, and strife
They teach value in virtue
But praise evil as fun
It makes us all experts
With a tank and a gun.
So here is to Gamerz
With your skills unsurpassed
With your stockpiles of gold
And your armies amassed.
To your so-steady hands
And your unblinking eye
We sing out to you
The God's that won't die.