Thank you for calling 1-800-SUICIDE.

If you wish to self terminate by electric shock - press 1

For termination by overdose - press 2

If you would like to make a reservation to visit our drowning pool -

please press 3

For termination by hanging - please press 4

For death by self inflicting gunshot - press 5

To speak to a representative, stay on the line.

If you don't wish to die - please hang up now.




Dr.Online by Zeromancer...

Very Sexy song, look into it. Now.

Well, we did it again last night too! Except this time we played strip poker. I lost second, again, but the girls were naked showing off naughty bits first. Well, when we finished our poker game, when decided, HEY! Since we're naked, let's fool around with our respective partners! After a while Shaman started fingering Dessy while me and Brittany watched. And Dessy is a gusher. No shit, she squirts so much cum, it was ridiculous. I had to change the sheets on my bed. After a while, me and Brittany decided to fuck, so we switched through a couple positions with Dessy bucking and moaning in the background. When I came, Brittany sucked me off so that I would cum in her mouth, and Dessy apologized for the mess she made. It took two shirts to wipe up everything she messed over. And, when we tired of that, we finished Kung Pow. ^_^

When the movie ended, Shaman went downstairs, I remade my bed, and Brittany and Dessy snuggled up to me and we fell asleep together. Awesome night!

Well, here's how the evening started... Me and my girlfriend Brittany invited our friends Destiny (Dessy) and Shaman (Shawn) over for a game of Strip Poker...Well, we ended up playing Strip Blackjack instead because apparently Dessy doesn't know how to play poker. Well, we all wound up naked, and Shaman won with ONE GLOVE! The rules were simple in the game. Person who loses the most (by going over 21 the most) they have to take off a piece of clothing. When taking it off, they have to strip tease. If you lose all your clothes, you are out of the game...Well, as I said, Shaman won by a GLOVE! Well, during all of this, we were laughing hysterically, and cracking jokes left and right. But, when the game was done, we popped on music. Caramelldansen was first (awesome song) and we all Caramel Danced vigorously, and when that song ended we played Enya's song The Hills of Ireland, to which we all Riverdanced to. We couldn't stop laughing, and we were all getting really comfy with our nudity. After this, we hopped onto my bed, still naked, and we started watching really BAD hentai porn. Well, we continued laughing over the porn for a while, but after some time we decided to pop in Kung Pow: Enter the Fist! Well, while we were watching, Shaman started fingering Dessy. Well, I started teasing Brittany, and she started to stroke me until I was hard. Next thing I know, I'm laying beside her, lifted her leg, and started slamming my cock into Brittany's wet cunny. She must have cum twice just doing that. Well, Shaman and Dessy have stopped playing to watch, giving us a running oratory. I believe a couple of the lines were "Remember that position!" (Dessy moves around for a better view) "Okay, remembered..." and "Can you move your hips that fast?" (Referring to my fast thrusts) "Um...I don't know..." Well, I moved and sat down on my computer chair and Brittany sat on my lap and started to fuck me hard. Dessy and Shaman told us we were going to break the chair because of how hard we were playing. Well, after one or two of Brittany's orgasms later, I laid Brittany on the bed and Dessy and Shaman decided to head downstairs to play videogames. So, me and Brittany kept at it for bit, and Brittany started begging me to cum on her...Well, I did just that, and, in her words I "made a little reservoir" on her tummy.

That was my evening.

Okay, this is for people who want a link to ALL the stories I've written, because..well, I've written more than The Runt.

A Brother's Passion

After School

An Anthro's Wet Dream

An Anthro's Wet Dream 2

Love and Artwork

New Experiences

The Runt

The Runt: Tod's New Life

The Runt: Dangerous Encounters

The Runt: Double Trouble

The Runt: Food for Thought

The Runt: Children and their Games

The Runt: A Virtual World

The Runt: Personal Hygiene

Okay, seriously. My dragon brother Shaman introduced me to an interesting new group. The best way to describe them is "Evil Carny Musicals" because they use tuba, accordion, a banjo, spoons, a violin, and xylophone and the lead singer's voice is amazingly unique. I suggest you look them up, or I'll nom your face. But seriously, they aren't on Bearshare, and you can find three songs on Skreemr, for Songbird. They have songs on Youtube, but they are so new they have only one album out. I love this music!


They are...The Scarring Party!

Your Horoscope For Today, Brought To You by Weird Al Yankovic. Which Is Yours? Mine is in bold down below...cancer...yeah >_>

You know what makes me laugh people? Ism's. Racism. Sexism. Ageism. People hating people for something silly. I mean, truly, why does something someone think, feel, enjoy, or say, have to illicit such a negative response? I mean, who are you to say? My favorite thing to rant about is people who hate people for sexual things. How funny! People hate furries for being furry, and yet they, the haters, enjoy clown porn, zombie porn, tentacle rape, amputee porn, incest, scat and water sports, and Gods know what else. Hypocritical? Of course! But what TRULY amuses me is when people argue at LENGTH about how other people are wrong, disgusting, stupid, etc, and yet more often than not they never sit back and think "Who am I to judge, considering what turns me on"? No, they hear from a third party about something and how they took it as offensive, then jump on the bandwagon and lay waste to all the impure people before them with their righteous fire and hate! HA! What a laugh. It's like these people decide to waste their life judging others, while those being judged merely raise an eyebrow and ask "What was the purpose of that? Why should it matter to you what I like or don't like? What business is it of yours?"

The answer is simple. They are trolls. They are sophomoric, rude, foolish, and commonly ignorant and naive. They WANT a reaction, because they NEED a reaction. They want to cause strife and unrest. The solution? Laugh at them and then ignore them. But never argue with them. It just gives the troll what he wants: Attention. Like a crying child who breaks things to make his parents notice him, these children are making you mad so that you will argue with them so that they won't be bored.

Who knows. Maybe, if you ignore them long enough they'll get depressed and kill themselves. I, for one, would laugh and cheer if that happened.

The people who read this, most will nod their head and give a chuckle because they know of whom I speak.They've met them, and know them. Others will get grumpy and probably write a nasty little come-back diary entry (Which I won't bother to read, and if I did, I would laugh at them. A lot), or confront me directly. But hey, you know what? I can ignore them, or laugh at them, or both, and continue on my way, content with the knowledge that I aggravated someone for being unreasonable and close-minded. And you know why that's nice? It's because deep down, they know I'm right, even though they will argue against it.

THAT is what I find AMUSING. Their pitiful struggle to justify their hatred for those that are different than them.


Reminds me of Nazis. Okay you Schutzstaffel wannabes, send me something to laugh at you over. I know some others on this side who would LOVE to read what you have to say! Weak-willed wretches.

I'm a monster! RAWR! You have to watch this! the gnome is adorable!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UqFPujRZWo

Seriously everyone.

If you people send me messages that say "I want to Die" or anything similar, don't expect sympathy. I'll tell you that you are weak and that there are many people far worse off than you. For Christ sakes, you lived in a developed country and have free access to the internet, why are you bitching? Most every problem you have can be dealt with one way or another, over time or right away, but it will get addressed. Life is FULL of problems, and you live by dealing with them, adapting to them, and learning from them. It makes you wise. But bitching about it, throwing a self-pity party with all your friends invited, that won't achieve anything besides ire from people who see you for what you are. Pathetic.

Grow up and Get something DONE!

All of you out there who don't have an aversion to songs that make you wriggle with pleasure cuz they are so damn cute, look up Ich Hab Dich Lieb by Schnuffel. The music video is pretty cute too.

Ever heard of a thing called softpaw magazine? I was pittering through fchan, and I found someone who was banned for bringing it up. Apparently, it's a cub magazine for furs. Difference in normalcy? It's cub yiff! Now, I don't know if any of you have any opinion on cub yiff, but I, for one, think it is adorable. Yes, they are doing naughty things, but god they are so CUTE! It's like watching a kitten and a puppy trying to wiggle into the same slipper! Except, they have sex when they get comfy....

I am extremely depressed right now. I can't seem to pull myself out of this funk I'm in, but I can't make my feelings change for the life of me. It's all bleak ashes and sorrow for me...just, wallowing in darkness. I've cried myself to sleep countless times now, and I can't see the point of going on. Death seems like such an inviting reprieve to the droll monotony of my existence, and I'm tempted to take his hand and follow him into oblivion if only to escape this never-ending pain that I feel within me, this rending, aching sadness within my heart....There is no love. No happiness. No joy. Only the black abyss of day-to-day drudgery. The sunshine falling on my skin brings no warmth to my soul, nor a smile to my face, and it all seems like a pointless race to the grave.







Now, if you believed ANY of the shit that I just spat out, you need to be smacked for not really know me for who I really am.

For those of you who took it seriously, find someone to smack you. Okay? Good. Now let me tell you something. Life is for loving, living, experiencing everything that can bring a smile to your face, and warmth into your heart. The silken touch of your lovers hand. Oreos and milk. A puppy and a kitten trying to wiggle into the same slipper. An unexpected gift. A hug. For the love of all that is good, life isn't meant for moping! It isn't meant for regrets! When you jump in, you go both feet first! You give it everything you've got, and if it ain't enough, you laugh and say "Fuck! I tried, but this shit isn't working! Time for something new!" and then you go off on your next adventure! I'm tired of seeing diary entries from people who have had their heart broken and the page is filled with lines like the ones I wrote above, or the classic "My heart is broken. Love is a sham" or some such nonsense. Yes it hurt, but quit being such pansies! Time heals all wounds as the old saying goes. In four years, you won't remember the persons face, much less how they hurt you. Yes, experience makes us cautious of trying new things, and no we don't like being hurt, but guess what? It will happen. It always does! But walling yourself off from everyone and crying like an emo while cutting yourself and saying that life is misery is just a bad ploy for people to feel pity. you think I'm worng? Then why do people put it up in their diaries? The answer? Attention. They want people for them. Of course, people have the rebuttal "They just need to get it out. It's not that they WANT people to read it."


Bullshit! If they didn't want, or expect, nay DEMAND others to read it, they would have written it down on a scrap of paper in a journal in real life. Also, using the excuse "they just wanted their friends to know, that's all" excuse is naught but lies. Honestly, how hard is it to type the message, copy it, then spam the two or three people who actually give a DAMN about your relationship problems? It's not difficult people. It's just annoying to get on here and see that the little box in the corner titled "New Diaries" now has fifty new entries, and most of them is filled with whiny, depressing, pissant crap! I don't have a problem with fifty diary entries. Hell, I'll read them all if they are funny or worthwhile. But when someone is just bitching about a boy because he has a slutty girlfriend, or the boy can't get the girl, or the boy can't get the boy, or the girl can't get the dog, WHATEVER! NO ONE GIVES A DAMN! AT ALL! EVER!

Anyway, that's my rant for the morning. Time for work, with a sunshiny smile upon my face and a song in my heart! Toodle-ooh!

*KISSES*

Well, here it is. I am NOT pro-life. Never have been, most likely never will be. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but there it is. I think a woman has a choice. Of course, I believe this should be for solid reasons (not six months of pregnancy followed by the proclamation "HEY! I decided I'd rather just have a puppy instead!"), but I believe that women should have the right to choose. None of this bullshit about killing our future. No religious propaganda about how God will hate you. No pictures of dead babies being tossed into dumpsters and the like. All of that? It's words spoken by a fanatical group of people, all with relatively closed minds. Mind you, I'm not heartless (Note above my comment about the puppy?), but I'm more scientifically minded than I am a humanitarian. Stem cells. Useful, are they not? For the cost of one life (Hell, a thousand and I honestly wouldn't flinch) the dead can aid research that can save multitudes more from debilitating problems, and for many generations to come. Useful little cells, are they not? Of course, this is coming from me. I am the kind of person who will laugh a car crash. I yawn when I watch Ethiopian "Help these poor children" commercials. I play videogames like Fallout 3, Oblivion, and Fable, and purposefully follow the paths of evil. I am, deep in my heart, a bit of a twisted individual. This is not a proclamation in order to make people say "Oooh, he's a twisted individual", nor is it a supplication to the masses for attention. I commonly make my jibes at humanity at my own convenience and in private, so it has nothing to do with being noticed. No, it is a simple self-diagnosis. This personal realization, coupled with many reasons (One being scientific research to assist mankind, and another being the fact that I strongly dislike children bordering on loathing) has led me to be a person who, in essence, is pro-choice.

But, to both sides of this argument?

You both need to shut the hell up. Put down your picket signs, quiet those chants, and just go home.

Other than that, help stem cell research. I'd much rather have watched Superman walk again rather than listen to some insufferable brat screaming to his mother that he wants a toy and she's mean because she won't spend her money on this selfish want of his instead of food.

I work at Wal-Mart. I hear it a lot, so I suppose wishing that the kid had been used for scientific research instead of being born is a biased opinion. So be it. It's my opinion, not yours.

In all likelihood it is certainly plausible that within this space of time we could readily clarify without undue finality that, should we deem it necessary to inquire of this particular task, we can ascertain without any unlikely differentiation from the truth that, perhaps, given the prospects of infinite realities and the infinite number of possibilities available in those infinite realities (thusly making the equation to be infinity times infinity squared), it is entirely within the realm of conjecture as to what the true answer is to your question, and that answer is an undoubted, unshakable, resounding....maybe.

Okay, recently I've been seeing a lot of those 'Yours+Mine' K-Y Brand Lubricant commercials. You know, the one with the blue and purple bottles? Says there is some amazing reaction when you put the two together...Well, you know what? I went and bought some.



Ho-ly. Shit. That was the most INTENSE love-making I have ever had. Brittany, my girlfriend, told me that the 'Mine' (for women) had a warming sensation that heightened her sensitivity. In other words when I was inside of her and I so much as twitched she would gasp with pleasure...I can't begin to describe how much she enjoyed it. Let's just say that when she went cowgirl on me I had to ask her to slow down or she would hurt me! And for the guys? Wow...Have you ever been chewing gum like Winterfresh and gone outside when it's snowing? That extremely cold sensation your mouth gets when the below-freezing air enters your throat? Similar sensation on the manhood. Except, not painful. I guess it could also be comparable to a person licking you somewhere, and then blowing cool air on that spot...except it's on your erogenous zone...And you don't need people to blow on you for it to feel good.

And let me just say that sensation of pushing inside of her, into the warmth if you will, and then withdrawing, into the cold? Heaven. Bliss. Beyond Satisfaction. We made love for nearly two hours...and not the kiss cuddle nuzzle stuff either! I am speaking of bestial, animalistic fucking! This was carnal pleasure unleashed, and my roommates made sure to comment that my bed squeaks...And the best part? We have a LOT leftover.



My recommendation to you all (at least the ones with a person to pull into bed with you), is to go grab some of this stuff. It's, like, fifteen bucks. You won't be sorry.

Voltaire: God Thinks



God thinks all blacks are obsolete farm equipment
God thinks the Jews killed his
son and must be punished
God thinks the white man is Satan
God, they know what God thinks

God thinks we should all convert to Judaism
God thinks we must all be Christians and
God thinks we should all embrace Islam
God thinks the only true religion is Hinduism

And I
I know what God thinks
God thinks you're a waste of flesh
God prefers an Atheist

God thinks all people like you are evil
God thinks all people like you are an
embarrassment to creation
self-righteous, judgmental, first to throw the stone
and use His name for your own protection

God thinks the sun revolves around the Earth
God thinks there was something
very wrong with Copernicus
God thinks abortion is murder and
God thinks everything that science gave us is wrong
God thinks women deserve it
God thinks AIDS is a form of punishment

I hate people who blame the Devil for
their own shortcomings and
I hate people who thank God when things go right

And I
I know what God thinks
God thinks you're an idiot
God prefers a heretic

God God
God thinks all people like you are evil
God thinks all people like you are an
embarrassment to creation
self-righteous, judgmental, first to throw the stone
and use His name for your own agenda

God is a liberal
God is a democrat
God wants you to vote republican
never trust a man who puts his
words in the mouth of god
and says that it's absolute truth
its lies and it smells like death
its all in a day's work taking money from the poor
Why do you think that God would need your dirty money
if he wanted to start a holy war?

self-righteous, judgmental, first to throw the stone
and use His name for your own protection

God thinks puppies need to die and
God thinks babies need to drown
'cause God is neither good nor bad
God is you and me
God is Everything







Find the song on youtube. Listen to it. Tell me, which of those religions is 'correct' in their assumption that they are the right religion? If you listened to them all at once, you'd know God has no opinion. From this, you would see he is double-dealing, being a player, or just incapable of making up his mind. So who is right? None of them. Because without us, without mankind, there is no God. And because we, mankind, invented god, we are, in essence, Gods. So, what we think is what God thinks, so we are all right...

And Voltaire is right. Anyone who holds strictly to these faiths, or any faith that casts a stone, is judgmental, or is self-righteous and feels like they are above others who disagree with their religion is both a waste of flesh and an idiot.

Open your eyes, and open you minds people. Religion isn't the all powerful dictator of you life. You are. Hiding behind the name of your, or your parents, imaginary friend won't give you eternal salvation. It will just make people realize who foolish you really are for not using cognitive thought and objective reasoning like normal people do.

Okay, since I'm sure you will here from him at one point or another, I'd like to make this clear. I'm pissed at [Mr. oogie boogie]. Why? Because he's a prick. A fucking tool as well. My hatred and contempt for him is not unfounded either. The story goes back to when he chased a friend of mine off of this site along with some others. I didn't know them, only Jack. Well, I was angry that he assisted in chasing away one of my friends, and so I snapped at him and ended our relation. Well, for a time, this is how it was. Then I relented and decided to try to make amends with him. I tried to be an adult, make reparations, bury the hatchet and all that jazz. He apologized for how he acted, and I accepted. I apologized for how I acted and...he blew it off. Every time I tried to get close and be friends again, it was the same, repetitive "I don't feel like I can trust you the same as I did before." Well, that's understandable, but therein lies the problem. He never tried. I constantly tried talking to him, and every conversation died with him giving me a guilt trip. I went out on a limb, over and over again, trying and trying to make this work. Finally, I had enough. He asks for my myspace and never messages me. Our last 'chat' was two weeks ago, the one where he asked for my myspace. I'm a sentimental person, and I admit I've cried over this a few times out of frustration. Now I am pissed. On a royal scale, pissed. I try, and try, and try, and get hurt repeatedly. Well, the gloves came off. Ended the relation. Bit his sorry little head off. And what does he do? He blew it off again. His comment? "I'm only nice to people who deserve it". As if I've been nothing but an ass for the past few months since I've been trying to rebuild the friendship, without his help! Thanks, ya bastard...Anyway, I'm spreading this around so that I don't get people messaging me and saying "How could you say such mean things to sweet little Jack", when only half of the story is told.

The little bastard has also taken the cowards way out, the kind where testicles are not necessary, and blocked me.



Also, I'm taking this a step further. Let us gather. We Do Not Forgive. We Do Not Forget. We are Anonymous. We are Legion. Vengeance Shall Be Ours.

Ten Signs You Are An Unquestioning Christian

10. You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.

9. You feel insulted and 'dehumanized' when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8. You laugh at polytheists, but have no problem believing in a Trinity god.

7. Your face turns purple when you hear of the 'atrocities' attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all of the babies of Egypt in 'Exodus' and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in 'Joshua' -- including women, children, and animals.

6. You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about Gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came to life and then ascended into the sky.

5. You are willing to spend you life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically establish age of the earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing the dates recorded by prehistoric tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the earth is a couple of generations old.

4. You believe that the entire population of this planet, with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those of rival sects -- will spend eternity in an infinite hell of suffering. Yet, you consider your religion the most 'tolerant' and 'loving'.

3. While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor 'speaking in tongues' may be all the evidence you need.

2. You define 0.01% as a 'high success rate' when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works, and you think that the remaining 99.99% of failure was simply the will of God.

1. You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- But still call yourself a 'Christian'.



Hope everyone has learned something today.

www.urbandictionary.com

Look up ICP (Insane Clown Posse)

The results are amusing

(Note, this poster was being sarcastic, if you cannot tell...and if you cannot, then I assume you are daft)



An incredibly talented musical group with the utmost amazing instrument playing abilities known to mankind. ICP, otherwise known as Insane Clown Posse, are the peak of this modern day civilization as we know it. ICP is known for dressing up as sadistic, mentally unstable clowns who enjoy vibrating their vocal chords about the following ideas, beliefs, and opinions, but are NOT limited to: head lice in one's arm pits, cutting bigots spinal cords in half (who doesn't want to do THAT now?), general distaste and negative angst toward the police department in general, the boogie man, and many many more very interesting and thought provoking topics.
Upon the first time hearing ICP I was immediately impressed by their captivating use of the English language. Explaining to me how AND why they planned on killing a police officer kept me entertained for hours. If you really do take a look deep down into ICP's lyrics you will find just more and more intelligent ideas that would greatly improve the world today.

Albert: Hey Fred, Have you ever heard of the band, "ICP?".

Fred: Oh, insane clown posse? Yeah, I heard they were a bunch of wankers quite frankly...

Albert: You heard wrong friend! These people are the cream of the crop! They are the height of intellectuality this world has ever and will ever see! They're a godsend!

Fred: Thanks for clearing my mind and saving me from damnation Albert! I'll be off now to listen to this excellent band and draw pictures of a man running with an axe on all my binders!

Albert: Splendid!




In a nutshell? ICP blows. Their music is poorly conceived and has no worthwhile content, and screams of false-bravado that caters to easily manipulated and influenced children who look up to anyone who challenges someone or something with authority in order to appear different/weird/violent/cool. Thus far, the only people I have seen that listen to this bilge are silly children (and sadly, adults) who run around, claiming to be, quote unquote, "Juggalos". In the female sense, "Juggalettes". In my opinion? Dunderpates without a clue. From what I have seen, they wear semi-expensive hooded sweatshirts and baggy pants with chains (tripp pants, I believe, though this may be from another group). They deplore society and anything good within it, praise alcohol and drug abuse, not to mention promote anarchy (which they do not understand the concept of) and the eradication authority figures because they are so short-sighted and weak-minded that they cannot conceived of WHY we have things such as the police force, the government, and the like.


Of course, what could be expected from drugged-out, skunk-drunk, raving lunatics who worship a crappy band whose symbol is various evil-looking clowns and a man with a hatchet? The answer is: not much. Also, if I have offended any would-be or devout 'Juggalos/Juggalettes' out there, let this be a not-so-subtle hint that you should seek lifestyle changes. Fast. The music which you listen to is not music, but is in fact backwash of a deranged persons faculties, and should be deposited, neatly, in a garbage disposal before being ground violently into shredded bits of scrap. Hate-filled clowns who hate the government? Please...I have seen better forms of communication, not to mention musical talent, from a deaf six year old.