Once upon a midnight dreary
While I porn surfed, weak and weary
Over many strange and spurious
Site of "hot xxx galore"

While I clicked my fav'rite bookmark
Suddenly there came a warning
and my heart did fill with mourning,
Mourning for my dear amour,

"Tis not possible" I muttered
"Give me back my free hardcore"
Quoth the server
"404"

Gentlemen...ladies...stay classy...

www.rainymood.com/

endlessvideo.com/watch?v=HMnrl0tmd3k

www.freesound.org/people/reinsamba/sounds/18766/

Carry yourself with enough confidence and people don't even notice the corpses your pushing around in the grocery cart.

Because it's cute, I want that hoodie, and fuck you, that's why.

"Saving one chicken or pig is symbolic. At best."

"Atheism is the lack of a belief in a god or gods. We'll focus on monotheism here, since it's more prevalent.

We do not claim to know for certain that god does not exist, but are simply unconvinced that he does. We view god as an unfalsifiable hypothesis, much like elves or goblins.

Since god is not immediately apparent to any of our senses, evidence of him is needed if we are to give the idea of his existence any credence at all.

The primary assertion of atheism is not necessarily that "there is no god," but rather, "there is no good evidence for a god." And until evidence of a god is presented, we will be atheists.

The beauty of nature is not evidence of god, unless the ugly aspects of nature such as disease, famine, rape and death are evidence against god. Atheists view nature as lacking conscious planning, and thus see both it's beauty and it's ugliness as incidental.

The bible, the koran, someone's personal sense of god--these things are not evidence, but articles of faith. Faith is the opposite of evidence. In fact, the very definition of faith is "belief without evidence"--which is what many atheists are really against.

But even these non-evidence-based beliefs wouldn't be a problem if they didn't influence societal opinions and attitudes and negatively affect public policy and our political discourse. With that said, it should be noted that not all atheists have qualms with other people's religiosity, but many do take issue with it for the very reasons I detailed moments ago."

And they say 4chan has nothing to offer.

The celebration in which juvenile primates hunt for the colored shells of unborn dinosaur young planted by a small, furry woodland creature all in commemoration of a middle ages cult belief that 2000 years ago a zombie walked the earth.

And now for a pensive look at the thoughts of the Legions of Chaos.

"Why aren’t we killing yet? Where is the blood I was promised?
Blood! I ache for the taste of BLOOD!
Why are we out here, when we could be in the thick of slaughter?!
Yes! Enemies! We need enemies.
Blood for the Blood God. Blood for the Blood God! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
YAY FOR THE BLOOD GOD! But we need more sacrifices! Herd the Imperial lambs to the slaughter! Bring Khorne his fill, or I’ll wring what I need from your broken bodies! More sacrifices. More death! MORE GLORIOUS CARNAGE!
The path to ruin, that is the way to Hell.
I feel the warp overtaking me…it is a good pain. Do you hear the voices too? It is as though a thousand worlds cry out in pain.
The Blood Pit overflows with the red ichor of the Imperium's finest. YOU! Find me more souls to corrupt. Take me to them, that I may render judgment! More Blood….for the BLOOD GOD! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!
By Khorne, it will be done.
Sanity…is for the WEAK.
Come my minions, let us steal their souls.
A pox on the false emperor!
We see the target!
Yes, finally! War to stir the blood! Blood to warm the flesh! Let them come. Slaughter them to the last, and eat your fill! By the worm-eye that bleeds in all the dark places, by the wound that never heals, I summon you…Bloodthirster! From the darkest depths of the warp!
The Age of the False Emperor is over at last! None can stand before me. The forces of chaos are mine to command.
The dark powers triumph. Chaos…consume us!
Blood for the Blood God!
Skulls for the Skull Throne!
Maim, kill, burn! Maim, kill, burn! Maim, kill, burn!
FOR THE GLORY…OF CHAOS!
BLOOD! HA HA HA HA HA! BLOOOD!
I am destruction incarnate!
Kill! KILL!
They are but gnats before me…
ATTACK! Break their backs! ATTACK! Break them in half! ATTACK! Split them open!
SLAUGHTER THEM ALL!
I AM UNSTOPPABLE! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!
KILL! KIIILL!! KIIIIILLLL!!
Forces of chaos…will be my power!
We will strip the flesh from their bones.
Your souls will be mine…
We are the destroyer! We are legion.
We will send the enemy to Hell and worse!
KILL! CRUSH! Rend them limb from limb!
Blood…blood! BLOOD! BLOOD!!
You weaklings…can no one offer me a challenge? Rah, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! My ascension is at hand…my hour of glory! I, and I alone, will be Khorne’s chosen! His favored acolyte and prime among his champions! From this world I will conquer the next, and the one after that! I will crush entire suns in the palm of my hand. I will stride down the halls of the Heathen Emperor and I will grind him and the Golden Throne of Terror between my iron fingers! The Universe will know the will of Khorne…Tremble! Quake! These are your final hours Lon Fie! My reign will turn the heavens themselves crimson! Blood for the Blood God! Let the Universe drowned in it!"

My laziness is like the number eight. When I lie down on my side, it is infinite.

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

"How old is this rock?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian."

"Wrong. It's been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real... then it should be an animal now."

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

The students applaued and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi.










As read on 4chan. Thank you 4chan.

wElCoMe BaCk, LiTtLe LoSt AnD BrOkEn StRaiN,

HaVe YoU cOmE To JoIn The PeRfEcTiOn oF tHe BiOmAsS?

...YoUr DnA MeMoRiES HaVe ClEaRlY BeEn CoRruPteD bY tHe PaThoGeN WeApOnS ThAt LoNg AgO WiPeD OuT tHe OrGaNiC MulTiCeLluLaR BuiLdErS, OwNeRs aNd ReSiDeNtS Of TheSe CiTiEs.

YoU SeEm To HaVe FoRgOtTeN WhY We ArE HeRE...
NoT To ReStORe ErAdIcAtEd ChLoRoPhyL LiFe, NoT tO TeRrAFoRm ThIs DeAd WoRlD, bUt To EvAlUaTe, JuDgE aNd ExEcUtE...

"It's a world of skinless, blood soaked nightmares, clambering from the deep that clangers for the meat of the guilty."

I heralded in this New Year by playing strip poker with my friends, and then fucking my girlfriend in six different positions while my buddy Shaman fucks Dessy. It was a delightful experience that heralds back to previous years of companionable humping. I then came all over my girlfriend's bottom while Dessy made a girl-puddle on our new comforter while Shaman finger-fucked her, and then we all drank Mike's Hard lemonades and mojitos.

How did you celebrate YOUR New Year?

　／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
　l、 ~ヽ
　じしf_,)ノ

Because I can.

Fuck off, this is for my own personal enjoyment.

"And when you think about it, isn't that exactly the point? Parking. And driving. And shopping. And eating. And working. Somewhere, somehow, they're different now, none of 'em are the same, they all got chewed up and spit back out, and they don't taste like living anymore! Don't you see what it's like in this deranged Waring Blender of a world?! Every day is an agonizing ordeal, like balancing a pot of scalding water on your head while people whip your legs and butt! You think I'm "SICK"?! Well the only disease I've got is "Modern Life," a schnutbusting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of let-downs, put-downs, trickle downs, shutouts, freezeouts, sell-outs, numnuts, nincompoops and nimrods, all making every day as much fun as waxing a flaming Pontiac with your tongue, where even if you do luck into the possibility of some fleeting pleasure, like, say, if some nymphomaniac telephone operators with the muscle control of Rumanian mat-slappers agree to a little Strip Air Hockey, it'll be over before it starts 'cuz some vowel-lacking, feta-reeking cab-jockey slams his Checker up your hatchback and the cab is owned by some pinata spanker from a Santeria cult in Xoacalpa who starts shaking chicken bones at you and gives you a boil on your neck so big all it needs is Michael Jordan's autograph to make it complete, and even with all this, with ALL THIS, I still drag my sorry butt off the Sealy every morning and stick my face in the reaping machine for one more day, knowing when it's time to flash the cosmic card key at those Pearly Gates, I won't be in the coffin anyway 'cuz some underhanded undertaker sold my heart, pancreas and other assorted Good 'N' Plenty to that same Santeria cult! So does anybody really wonder why ANYBODY is hanging onto sanity by the atoms on the tips of their fingernails while life dirty-dances on their digits, and is it really any wonder that I seem DERANGED???!!"

I have a name but it isn't my name
My face shows signs of age
And I always mean the same thing
No matter what I say
I'm born in the mourning
I last 'til the end of days
Men plant me but I never grow
Run from me but I never move
Look at me to see their future
and rot in the fields where I bloom


...


What am I?

I was just reading the Introduction for a Vegan Cookbook, and I have to say, it was really obnoxious. "When you hear about all the atrocities that happen to animals, how can you NOT go Vegan?" Well, first off, as I've said many times before, you can't be a true Vegan and going without using the products of animals unless you live in the third world (and then it isn't by choice). Second, these atrocities will happen whetheryou buy beef, cheese and yogurt or not, it's called supply and demand andthe basis of our economy, and as such you are a minority. Third, you're essentially selfish vegetarians who aren't considering the fact that all the vegetables you eat come from land that was plowed and forests that were mulched to make room for your precious veggies, displacing many animals from their habitats to make way for all that extensive farmland. So, yeah, you're not BETTER at helping animals, you're killing them off by making it necessary to destroy their land for food, just like beef people, to provide YOU with FOOD, except instead of hormones and a quick death on the road to the meat factory, you're starving woodland creatures that can't find food or shelter anymore.

So, yeah, you're essentially just hypocritical, self-aggrandizing vegetarians with bloated egos.

Now, I'm all about eating right (though I rarely do, I admit), consuming vegetables, helping the environment and being kind to creatures. But trying to change the world by going on a strict diet? How pretentious.

And yes, I understand not all Vegans are like this. There are Ethical Vegans who reject the commodity status of animals and the use of animal products for any purpose, while dietary vegans or strict vegetarians eliminate them from their diet only. Another form,environmental veganism, rejects the use of animal products on the premise that the industrial practice is environmentally damaging and unsustainable.

So, I understand it's not all one-sided and flat. The problem is, two of those are full of bullshit idealism which, in the end, will not affect anything beyond their immediate area of friends and family, and I'm sure they only tolerate it because they don't want to seem harsh and judgmental.

/rant

I go through my G+ account, my facebook account, gmail, Fake!, Elftown, and Elfpack and look at my (literally) hundreds of relations, and quite often I usually pause going through them and look at about thirty to fifty people and think to myself

"I hate all of these pretentious, self-absorbed fuckers, their constant spelling errors and their drama issues."

And then I go back to talking to them.

I'm also not going to expand on this post. Who I despise irrationally or for just reasons is my own business.

To be sporting though, I will give you a hint: There are about thirty to fifty of you spread out over those six accounts. I'm ever so helpful.

‎1.3 trillion barrels of oil are left (roughly) in the earth.

We pump almost 60 million a day.

If this stays constant (it won't, it will get worse) we are looking at MAYBE 15,500 days of oil left.

So...within about forty odd years it is likely you will see the permanent death of the oil industry.

Did you know about this? Are you prepared for it?

Oil prices will only climb higher, there will be a panic, and it will all fall apart. Even with the introduction of electric cars, tires, paints, plastics, gasoline, and many other products are created with oil.

And don't bother hording gasoline either. Don't be stupid, it goes bad in roughly 14 months, and then you won't have a means of travel.

Buy a fucking bike, move closer to family, and build your community.

Syngian (committing sin), because I can.

I like kissing and teasing, movie watching and hand-holding, firebombs and natural disasters, kittens and silly putty