Lament of a teenage hooker:
written by my smexy, talented, loving, bighearted, yet tortured best friend "Layla"
The skinny, pale reflection... mocked me as I looked into the mirror, fried blonde hair, (I stuck out my tongue) pimples under makeup.. wow alot of makeup. I'm a little 13 year old girl dressed like a whore. But I'm in a pent house, the guy is snoring outside on the huge bed I have 200 dollars in my little purse to give to my "protector" that will keep Him from beating me tonight at least. I sometimes wonder if I'm paying Him to beat me or just to keep Him from beating me...not much difference from home...
Ah I'll do another line... the marble floor is cold under my bare feet ...what happened I'm in Junior High, now I'm in a bathroom in a penthouse, in Vegas walking the streets and sleeping with these huge, hairy men.. (laughs darkly) Well they call it sleeping. I call it acting like the pigs on my farm! They smell a little better though ...haha. Rich men who want me! A little girl form a little town ...I can get them to tell me all their secrets (please tell me I'm special?) Oh the razor is sharp.. it etches a small line as I trace it across my wrist. I think of my family I think of my teachers. Am I a failure?
I make more money then they do. Even though I don't get to keep it. But we don't keep much of what we make anyways we all pay it back to taxes (laughs darkly once again) at least I'm tax free.
All those girls in junior high making fun of me (I trace the existing line on my wrist.. it deepens) I wish they could see me now.
I have money, cars, whatever I want to wear. Wouldn't they be jealous..no I think they would laugh and call me bad names.. Oh well (sigh) They can't see the streets at night... I drag the razor across my wrist again... it really doesn't hurt much. Not as much as my life. (As I look in the mirror I see the reflection of the man sleeping in the bed)
Once again razor across blue vein.. the red crimson ribbons of blood flowing more freely down my arm... splashes on my toes...it matches the dark red polish on them. Why am I here? Do I have a purpose? Am I alive? The pain of the razor tells me so. Marble is slippery under my feet ...(looks confused) Oh it's wet. Why is it wet? Oh yeah! The blood...once again across the wrist, it's running quicker now. Almost like a river. I love you. I miss you. Can I come home?
my darling hellhound is the first and only guy on here to change his SN to fit with mine and i didnt even ask him he did it cause he loves me and you know what...
i loves him too! *goes and covers shadow in kisses*
i am going to name the men on here that i am inlove with and no matter what they say i shall ALWAYS LOVE THEM!!
first is my long time friend and once lover Draconious..i met him on elftown years ago but we got separated cause the fuckers kicked me off... i still love him with all that i am... but sadly he cant be with me. he has others problems.
second of all there is my now Ex-bf The Lone Shadow whom i used to live with but his effing mother is insane and just kept taking my money for herself and her shit hole house... but did that ever stop me from loving him... FUCK NO IT DIDN'T! but he and i are trying to work things out... i just dont know what to do there i have all my friends saying he is just using me for sex and even my parents say that...but guess what i dont think thats true especially because he has been pouring his heart out to me through email for the past two weeks and i feel terrible for hurting him...im considering saying fuck it to everyone but my gf friend and david and just going to live with him in a new place and bring my gf and my best friend meg to live in that new place.
third is a man i first met here his name is metalmeister(SP?) i love him so very dearly but he doesnt want me the way i want him cause according to him he is just wasting his life in front of the computer...you know that really hurts yet...as i'm sure you can all guess I STILL FUCKING LOVE HIM TOO!!
then there's my now ex master Rune Takashi.. he left me and my darling gf because we wanted attention that was a little more close to home... and as you know i still love you too!! but i and my gf said we would still love him and be with him even though we were so far away from him... and really he came to me first and i fell in absolute love with him.. still in love with him but he doesn't want either of us he told my gf that she was picking a convenient fuck over him...you know what matt she just wanted someone to love her where she was its the same way with me it wasn't because of the sex it was because i wanted to be held and hugged and loved in my own time
i need to go to bed nowi have to be up early... i'm seriously going to bed and pass out
woooooooooooho
i dont want to be alone i hate being alone i just broke up with david cause of some shit...dont ask.. just know its over.
i want someone to love me just for me i dont want to be used anymore... but the men i really want to be with either have girlfriends now or lives hundreds of miles away and the ones that live so far away say that im too far to be with... wtf!! i just want to be inlove with someone because they are smart funny kindhearted handsome, have a mind of their own, and above all see me as more than a thing to be fucked then thrown away...
i want unconditional, breathtaking heart pounding love...but i guess I'm just not worth it to anyone
*feels like im going to die of a broken heart*
the shitty bank
omfg my bank has tottally screwed me over!! i -according to them- have overdrawn my account by $67.00. omfg!! but i didnt i had a lil bit of cash left in the bank but they like took it out for their payment and that over drew me then they tacked on a 25 dollar charge because the account was over drawmn for the first time... but did they fucking tell me that? NO!!!
so i did an inquiry at a walmart ATM and that cost me five more dollars wwhich again i was unaware of! and yet thats not enough for the bank they decide to keep taking money out five dollars a day... and i dont get paid again till the first of next month.... so by then ill owe over 100dollars because of the fucking governtment and i only get six hundred a month that i get to live off of... im trying to get a job i really am but i dont want to work in a fucking fast food joint here in dayton and take the chance of getting shot by some drugged up psychopath!!! i have no problem working in like a coffe shop or something...
and on top of owing the bank i have to pay 275 rent this month... and that right there along with the bank is over 300dollars!!!!
im so very fucked over right now!!
by the gods i had so much fun today with my old friend William from the GCCC!
we met at the mall and just hung out in different stores, it was very fun...
and omfg he bought me stuffed animals from the disney store!! yes i admit we went in to a lil kids store... but i feel you are never to old for the disney store!! he bought me the baby turtle stuffie from finding nemo and a heffulump(SP?) stuffie from winnie the pooh!!! i loves them so very much!!! yay!
then later he took me to the food court for lunch i had chicken teriyaki(lil help please with the spelling!) oh but before that we went to hot topic and i got a lip/eyeliner pencil and a shimmer pencil thingy its green and the eye/lip thing is reddish purple! its great oh and i bought the first volume of chobits from the waldens bookstore today as well... and i was fully prepared to buy Will a star wars comic but he wouldnt let me!!! grr!
anyways everytime we walked by an abecromie and fitch store oe like this stupid as fuck store called RAVE i yelled "DIE YUPPIE UPSTER SCUM!!!" and the clerks all stared at me it was great... i had so much fun!!! yay!!
oh oh!! i snuck up on Will after going to the restroom and i bite his neck lightly or so i thought... well boy was i eveah wrom he ended up with a welted bite mark that looked like something out of "QUEEN OF THE DAMNED!!" i mean with out the blood!!!! i felt so terrible i kept apologizing until it dissappeared which took two hours!! oh my god!!
oh btw Will is like 6'6" tall and yeah i had to crane my neck to look at him!! *dies* but none the less i had major fun!! and he is just as cute as i remember.
he kept calling me his little hippie all day... but we aren't dating... umm lets see what else happened.. oh yeah we went to this sporting goods store called DICK'S and he wanted me to try on the bathing suits... the all looked like they were for children im talking size-anorexic! and i told him no... he kept like smacking my butt andd every time i like squealed... lol. but like i said i had a great time!!!
*curls in a ball to die*
sorry to all of you my freaky darlings. i had to play with my friends kid for a while! and i ate dinner ahhh eggrolls!! *drool*
sorry again but im back for now
must ...sleep.. need.. sleep.. will die..from...no sleep followed by long drive.. and concert tonight!!! must sign ooff for now...*doesnt even make it to the bed just sleeps where i fall*
WINGNUT IS SERIOUSLY SCARY AND MAJORLY INSANE HE'S A PERVERT HE LIKE TO FUCK LITTLE GIRLS AND I BLOCKED HIM FROM ALL MY ACCOUNTS CAUSE HE ALWAYS TRIED TO MAKE ME ACT LIKE I WAS TWELVE OR YOUNGER!! IT WAS GROSS!!! HE IS A PERVERT!! ALL GIRLS AND GUYS HERE SHOULD BLOCK HIM FROM ALL YOUR SITES!! HE ALSO STALKED ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND HE CALLS HER 24/7 AND SAYS GROSS SHIT AND HE FOLLOWS HER TO ALL THE WEBSITES SHES ON AND STALKS HER!!!
PEOPLE FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY BLOCK THIS PSYCHO FUCK!
i am here tonight to tell you all that i am very sorry... im not trying to ignore you all.... the place where im living keeps getting trhe internet shut down! and ive been visiting my family this month but the family comp got fried and was being repaired it just came home yesterday!! but i wont be on every day all day long! im sorry!
plus news to my pets and masters and my lovely mistress.. i... GOT MY NOSE PIERCED!!! its so cute and its little a barley noticable tiny blue gem i got it done two weeks ago!!! i love it so much and i got my christmas shopping almost done!! i just gotta get something for my dad!
anyways like i we are doing battle with the phone company to get our internet and phone turned back on at my new house.... but its not going so well!!
but for now im at home visiting my family for the holidays... and ill get online when my mom and dad let me!!
♥If you REALLY LIKE SOMEONE right now AND MISS THEM and can't get them out of your head then re-post this within 1 mintute and whoever you are missing will surprise you.♥
i hope this works lol
okie my loves... i have been severly fucked over... my main source of internet has been shut down i/e turned off. you see we have an internet card for this laptop and it is from my roomies cell phone account... welp i was supposed to get a phone of my own put on that account but unfortunately the phones have also been shut off so i have no way of contact with the outside world... or atleast no requent type of contact with the outside world... another words i have to go to the library... -sigh- i am sorry but this shall only happen once a month... forgive me my Pets and Master(s) and my beatious Mistress... i will try to answer as many emails that i can each month but if you go for a while with out hearing from me i must beg you to for give me... it is not my fault...
and to add salt to the wound i have over a hundred emails... -dies- so most of you shall not hear from me for a looooooooooong time... please dont leave me for this... i am so very sorry!! i didnt realize i had so many friends... but i will eventually get to you all! i promise!!
so untill then...
i love you all so much... sooo TTFN!!!
no more fucking messages for three days not unless you are my mistress or my master Rune Takashi or the following Fornax, demoniclover, pain!, fuckin' slayer... or whom ever else i say i have an overload of messages and i need to catch up!!!!!!!!!!!!
okie everyone im sorry to do this but i need to catch up to you all i woke up today after and amazing sex filled dream! only to find when i logged on to fake to day that i have 99 messages! so all but a few are allowed to email me for now... fuckin' slayer you ca mail me and so can Lothario but i need to catch up so that you all dont think im ignoring you!
i want you to put off messaging me for three days starting tomorrow... i really have to catch up! this is just not only my idea but my roomies and a couple friends ideas.
also my mistress Fantasy will be able to message me!
okie this is fuckking great one of my friends here just fucking blew up at me and screamed his head off at me!!! i want someone to yell at him for me!! please masters his name is [DRACE] and i liked him a lot and he wass so very mean to me!!
Ok the news with me is i had a job... for two days... tuesday being the second day!
well i got fired for fucking PDA! with my friend william....... i grabbed his ass a couple times when i thought no one was looking and he grabbed mine back! so we were cool about it ya know just playing around!!!! and plus last night while william and i were working on the really heavy car parts called bearings -we were doing it together cause we were both hurt and he thought i was cute and cool and i thought the same of him!- so anyways when we went on our schedualed breacks and came back to finish o ur load we found that three of the parts had been put in the wrong fucking containers.... and we werent the ones who did it!!! we were being harrassed!! and every time our boss went by us she went "jesus christ!" im going sue for harrasment and unjust firing!!!
this is fucking bullshit!!!!!!
omfg my darling pet [NarcolepticLycan] has been hurt and so was his friend.. to all my friends here send him wishes of wellness.. he is VERY DEAR to me!! I LOVE HIM DEARLY!!! and some mother fucker -whom i will personally make Lucifer's bitch- nearly killed him and shot his friend four times and shot himself... well i can say this... the fucker who did this wont just be serving and old demon in hell or purgotory or wherever the fucking suicides go i will make sure he becomes The ulitimate demons bitch monkey... pineapples and all!!!!!!!!!!!