Good Enough
I'll never be good enough
I'll never be smart enough
I'll never be pretty enough
I'll always be the ugly one
I'll always be the dumb one
I'll always be the last one
I'll never be good enough
To be the only one
I'll never be smart enough
To go anywhere with my dreams
I'll never be pretty enough
To be treasured by anyone
I'll always be the ugly one
That everyone looks down on and uses
I'll always be the dumb one
That believes every lie
I'll always be the last one
Anyone wants
I'll never be talented enough
I'll never be rich enough
I'll never be loving enough
I'll always be the bitchy one
I'll always be the poor one
I'll always be the second best one
I'll never be talented enough
To go anywhere with my dreams
I'll never be rich enough
To go to a good college
I'll never be loving enough
To take all the pain
I'll always be the bitchy one
From all the pain
I'll always be the poor one
Left to bleed on the side of the road
I'll always be the second best
Because I'm never good enough
Marpsy
So I just found out one of the very few guys I've dated that I'm still friends with is bi...I'm both shocked and amused...he's such a sweet guy I and he reminded me of my asexual uncle Ben that I assumed...I donno what to think...
Something I wrote
There's blood everywhere
No matter how hard you try
Everything has gone red and black
Red of pain
Red of blood
Red of anger
Black of hate
Black of broken dreams
Black of death
Once you promised to heal me
But it was you who destroyed me
You're the reason I'm bleeding
Don't tell me you didn't mean it
What's done is done
Even broken I can stand
Even bleeding I can fight
Don't you dare try and stop me
After all you've done
The least you can do is stay out of my way
"Run!"
"Don't be an idiot!"
You scream but I can't hear you
Remember the way I lived
Is the way I'll die
My life has been filled with red and black
Filled with pain, with blood, with anger
With hate, with broken dreams, with death
I'll die covered in blood
Now listen to me
Leave, save yourself
Get out of here while you still can
I'm not asking for your sake
You'll only hinder me if you stay
Call it misplaced nobility
But I intend to die like I lived
You look back and whisper
"Come back alive"
We both know that isn't possible
As I step forward baring my fangs
I let out a silent prayer for your safety
And chuckle at the irony
I always said I'd die young
Suddenly you're beside me
All bristling fur and claws
I hiss at you
But spring for the throat of the creature
You swipe uselessly for its chest
Somehow I know I have to save you
That means releasing the monster within me
I hear behind me those I must protect at all costs
Never mind your safety I have to risk it
I leap backward and pull off my restraints
I feel the sleeping beast within me roar
The fire within my belly
The wings at my back
The keening bloodlust and feline claws
The monster wihin me
Not human but we already knew I'm not
Not vampire, lycan, nor dragon
But a hybrid of the three
Hungry for the blood that's everywhere
Both you and the creature are bleeding
And its scent is maddening
I spring for it's throat
This time it goes down
And I feed upon it
I can't stop it now
The creature lays dead at my feet
And my sanity returns
I replace my restraints
You stare at me
Fear in your eyes
"Now do you see?"
"I'm monster like no other"
I say hanging my head
My sisters, mother and brother
Stand behind and beside me
My dragon sister puts a hand on my shouler
"She protects us and is bound to us"
says my vampire brother
"I offered to protect you"
I say replacing the gloves that hide
My binding runes
"I am bound permanently to those I fight for"
"I am restrained by my humanity"
"You've seen the monster within me"
"Can you accept me now?"
You shiver in fear
You clearly can't accept what I am
You won't be the first
As you flee I wonder
When I'll die like I've lived
Marpsy
Well good news...one puppy out of the litter made it...bad news...15 didn't.
Said puppy was adopted tonight...
Well there's good news and there's bad
Good news the five candles remain. Bad news we're not out of the woods yet
4 more puppies have passed my heart is bleeding for them
I light 5 candles this night to pray for these last ones. If they don't make it that at least they do not suffer
7 Puppies have passed
Princess, Einstein, Lady, Pebbles, Mogalie, and two unnamed have passed
This night I light a candle to the 9 who are still among the living. Pray for them
Good news the sick pups are goingto make it we caught it in time
Good news the sick pups are goingto make it we caught it in time
It's been one of those weeks that makes you question why you get up in the morning. In 2 days we have lost 3 puppies to what is most likely parvo. The worst part is we could be losing all three litters. To make matters even more happy joy joy I'm losing my grip on sanity. Something isn't right.
Although *working hard to think of good things* I have a new little brother (always the eldest why?) His name is Travis and he's 18 he got kicked out so now he lives with us
So I wanted to tell people cuz I felt like it. I'm getting a kitten. It's not off it's mommy yet but he already has a name. This little guy is named Arthin. My kitten is a silver long haired cat with tiger stripped markings.
Between the shit with my ex gf and now ex bf I think I want my hole back. My gf's family is harassing me of fucking facebook of all things. She's pissed at me because for some reason I'm a bad person for wanting to still be at least friends. Oh fucking well. My bf all he wants is sex. He's laid 21 girls that I know of in the past month making me feel like a fucking whore. Well FUCK YOU! I'm sooooooooooooo
Exceptions to this rule because they've already done so
[115, Snow Owl]
[Sinful Raine666]
[bootcampsfeet]
[Lord Arthin]
[foxyvixen17]
and pretty much anyone else on my house
I didn't ask to fall for you. I didn't ask for you to decide you hated me
Episode 3 of Bleach very hard to watch. Orihime's goodbye to her brother is the hardest part it makes me cry like a two year old
Thoughts on my birthday
I hate it. Enough said. The person who remembers without an internet reminder is so rare it isn't funny most of my family doesn't remember even with the reminder. I give
Get this straight I've finally got my head clear. I don't need anyone to be happy. Yes I'd like the other half of my soul but they'll come to me when I'm ready for them. That said I'm sick and tired of people trying to change who I am. Yes I have my issues and I need some help with those issues but the underlying personality the underlying person there is perfect the way it is. I'm not going to say I'm perfect no one is but I'm done with those who keep trying to change me. Yes I'm overemtional I get depressed easily but I smile and laugh just as easy as I get mad. Yes I'm tenderhearted and try and protect people even when they don't need it but it's what makes me happy. I am a caretaker deep down and I need to stop trying to be a caretaker by being a lover and be a caretaker by being a friend. Coming to this conclusion has lifted the black cloud of guilt that has been hanging over my head for days. I feel better than I have in months maybe even years
The house I am currently in residence has mold poisoning we found out today recently I had been having some pretty nasty pains in my stomach, headaches, chest pains, shortness of breath and nasty joint pain. three animals have passed because of this and I'm certain more will be harmed
Never again
I never thought I'd fall in love
I never thought I'd break
I never thought I'd lose everything
Never again
I won't ever lose my heart again
I won't ever break again
I won't ever lose myself again
You never thought I'd love you
You never thought you'd break my heart
You never thought you'd see me lose myself
Never again
You won't see me still loving you
You won't see my heart broken again
You won't see me lose myself again
They never thought they'd see me fall in love
They never thought they'd see me break into pieces
They never thought they'd see me lose myself
Never again
They won't see me falling in love
Tehy won't see me breaking into pieces
They won't see me lost beyond hope of being found
Never again
I'll never show my pain
I'll never let my scars heal
I'll never let them see how much of me is broken
Nope never again
Marpsy
*face in hands* I've done something very very very wrong. I don't know that the scars on my heart are ever gonna heal I don't know that I'll ever be the same. I don't know that I want to. I should've never broken up with Midnight but now it's too late just like always. It's just too late
Don't See
Don't see the tears in my eyes
Don't see how I feel
Don't see my pain
I have never wanted to say
I love you
So bad and known no matter what I can't
I don't want you to know
Know that my heart is slowly breaking
I don't want to let you back in
To my heart so you can see
The sharp edged broken bits on the inside
Don't see the scars
Don't see how much it hurts
Don't see how much I love you
I don't want to feel anymore
Fell like my heart is gonna shatter
I don't want to see
See the way you're looking at her
I don't want to know
Know I'm not the only one
I wish you'd lie to me
Say I'm the only one for you
Even though I don't stand a chance
Not against her
Don't see me cry
Don't see me beg for release
Don't see me die a little on the inside
I don't want you to know
Know how bitter I am
I don't want to be angry
Angry I can't say no
Not to you
One look and I'll do anything you ask
I know it's ridiculous
But I don't want you to see
See how much I love you
Marpsy
Just Another Girl
I'm just another girl
Just another in a line up
Just another pretty face
I know I have no chance
I know you don't ever really want to be with me
Yet somehow
I keep wishing
I keep hoping
Knowing my day is never going to come
My heart is broken in pieces
Every time I start to hope
It ends in pain
Sometimes I think maybe I should try
To forget about you
I've been singing for so many years
Hoping praying wondering when it was my turn
Knowing it'd never be my turn
I'm just another girl
I've never been anything more
Just another good time
Just another forgotten face
I know my heart is split in two
I know I can't have it my way
Yet the hope comes back no matter how hard I try
To rid myself of it
Sometimes I wonder
Why I bother
I'm just another girl
Marpsy