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I love a Sunday watching football and porn at the same time. Is there anything better? Because hey, if there is no one scoring in the game, you’re sure to see someone scoring in the movie.

Today we’re reviewing one of my all-time favorites – Barbara Broadcast. This one stars Annette Haven as Barbara Broadcast, a high-end prostitute turned successful author that continues to be a prostitute because she likes it better. She is being interviewed by a reporter, Roberta, played by C. J. Laing. They share stories and experiences in a restaurant where everything is on the menu – including the wait staff – and Roberta learns a little more about herself while getting to know Barbara.


It is a little known fact that McDonald's uses this same recipe for their salad dressings, claiming, "It gives the bulls one last moment of pleasure before we slaughter them."

Other big names in the movie include Jamie Gillis, who plays Curly, an old acquaintance/client of Barbara, and Constance Money, who plays another hooker that Curly has a hot bondage scene with.

The movie not only has a great plot but it works the sex scenes into the plot with a natural and often humorous grace. Written and directed in 1977 by Radley Metzger, a pioneer of adult cinema, Barbara Broadcast also works social commentary in the ways of word play and jokes based off of social stereotypes. Comments such as, “you really have to keep an eye on your waiter in these Caucasian restaurants; they all look the same,” make the dialogue interesting, humorous and something you won’t dread listening to in between sex scenes.


Annette Haven - perhaps the best pussy, and body, of any actress of her era.

One of the best blow-job scenes in any movie happens at about the 17-minute mark. In a scene in the restaurant between Susan McBain and Peter Andrews – it is just the kind of blow-job you like to see. McBain controls the waiter’s cock the entire time and continues to pleasure him right through orgasm without missing a beat, allowing him to orgasm all over her face and looking like she’s loving it the whole time.

Nice. Nice and Fappable.

 
You have to appreciate a woman that can take a facial with a smile and then keep going.

And in an example of how this movie is written, the scene ends with McBain stating, “Thy rod and thy staff; they comfort me.”

Roberta and Barbara take a break while Barbara services a client – a politician before a key-note address – and Roberta, turned on by everything that had been happening around her, seduces the restaurant chef by peeing in a bowl (they don’t show it in the version on xHamster but do show it in the original cut). Roberta and the chef have sex right next to the supposed stove where pots are boiling. Unlikely... and you wouldn’t catch me doing it!

  
Fucking hot - pun totally intended.

One thing this movie will change for you forever - whenever you go out to eat at a restaurant and hear a waitress drop a tray of dishes, you will expect to see the maitre d' unzip his pants and make her give him a blowjob.

After they get back together, Roberta and Barbara go dancing and end up seducing each other right on the dance floor. In a typical '70s disco scene, we are treated to a very well acted and filmed lesbian affair on the stairs in the club, while other patrons walk around them seemingly oblivious, since they all had probably been to the restaurant earlier that day anyway.

I know if that restaurant existed, I would eat out all the time – double entendre fully intended.


"We have several specials today including bearded clam, tacos and red snapper"

After a while a third joins in – Curly – taking Roberta from behind but apparently not by surprise. In a double money-shot scene, he is then sucked off by Roberta before realizing she is with Barbara, who finally introduces them formally. The line, “It was a business doing pleasure with you,” is quipped and they share the story of a PAP (Protestant American Princess) that joined their “business” as a hooker and that Curly had to “break in.” The following scene is a fairly hot but rare bondage scene from the day and style of movie. Unfortunately the version on xHamster edits some of the best parts of this scene as well, which is a huge disappointment. 


Jamie Gillis makes a big entrance in the end - all double entendres fully intended.

I got to know this movie in its uncut version by sneaking it from my parent’s Beatmax collection of porn tapes. It has long been one of my favorites, in particular for the final bondage scene. I bet the tape is worn out in that part. Constance Money is another hot goddess from that era and this was a teaser film. She only made a handful of movies, but every movie she is in is definitely worth a handful or more.


I knew after seeing this scene at the age of 14 I wanted to tie up women and use them for my pleasure when I got older...

In all I give Barbara Broadcast my first five-boner rating. It is a true classic in every sense of the word and well worth the watch in the edited or unedited version.

You can watch Barbara Broadcast at: http://xhamster.com/movies/209273/barbara_broadcast.html


Crudezza’s Rating: