I won 2nd place in the Best Master Award

http://www.kingsofchaos.com/recruit.php?uniqid=py6axt4y
PLAY! Make me your commander! ... maybe?


IMG:http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e82/loonyprof/SamuraiShowdown2.jpg

::laughs:: i LOVE how there are people who dont cyber, on a cyber community. though honestly i get tired of those people who scream "fuck me!" too. its refreshing to find somebody with a mind whos not just after my ----.

There is a fundamental difference between a slave, and a pet. a slave is somebody forced to stay, chained to a wall or locked in a closet. a pet is no less chained, but you wont find a single lock on her that she doesnt have a key for, because she is bound by love.


IMG:http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e82/loonyprof/catgirl_1232.jpg


IMG:http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e82/loonyprof/0162.jpg


i do have a tendency to want pets though. kind and caring, dominant enough to want pets, but not usually a true slave.



[92% percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Repost this if you are one of the 8% who would be laughing your ass off.]



IMG:http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e82/loonyprof/slavesbanner.jpg

IMG:http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e82/loonyprof/petbanner.jpg
if your not sure how to add them, just copy the link, and add <  > to either end.




Random hilarity, gotta love the Brits for this.
Subject: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE by John Cleese      
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.


Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.


Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.


To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:


1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise." You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.


Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary."


Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.


2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."


3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.


4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.


5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.


6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005.


You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.


7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.


8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."


9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.


11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.


12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine," with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.


13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon get used to it).


14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.


15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.


16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).


Thank you for your co-operation





The Nice Guy Curse




This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last,
that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and
bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is
dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but
restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors
and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing
room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly
reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the
appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of
support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back
attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a
girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.




This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends
back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the
guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy
male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but
give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game
where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend
material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice
guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice
guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.







This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone,
and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly
dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you
thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all
ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the
best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in Halo2 to rant about a rumor
that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive
person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had
nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped
her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for
that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was
nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you
knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you,
justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re
just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm
body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.







The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps
more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they
should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what
I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends
at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is
that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim
they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen,
they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or
“he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up
with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most
frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to
lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their
too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks.
Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure
out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice
guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But
one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon
doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that
train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking
them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier,
finding the ones that are single.







So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice
guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described
as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your
patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your
party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile.
For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the
situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my
acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this
society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.




Repost if you're a nice guy or...
a female that does appreciate the nice guys