[My name is Joshua Rock. I am an Artist, a Lover, a Nerd. I am also Complicated, so you may have to just ask about that which you are seeking. I am into the Occult. Aphrodite is my Goddess who fills me with her warmth and love. I meditate with her at least twice a day during the Hours of Venus, Planetary Hours. She helps me, guides me. Its good that she listens to me and came into my life when she did. I need her guidance, her love. I need to learn to let the Hatred out of my heart in a much better and Healthy way. My site has always been changing. From good, to bad, to worse. But now I am working on making things much, much better. My artwork will still be up, even if its on the Dark side. Art is Art, and Aphrodite respects it. And its good to see where I have been with it. But with my Goddesses love Im hoping to make my page much less ugly and much, much more beautiful. I will have Alot of random writing for the rest of my Profile. Poetic words that are meant to think about and describe myself in a more meaningful way than just simply saying what Kind of person I am. I am many things. I am simply that which I am.]



Before the Random witing, this is where I shall be putting my wiki projects and so on. A lot more will be coming at some point, got some really cool things to show you, but for the moment, this is what is important. Enjoy.

The Art of Gwendolyn

The Multiple Girl

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Holy and Beautiful, My Protector, Teacher, Lover, From the Sea you were Born, a Place I have always feared, and yet, Here you are. Your warmth is deep in my chest, your Kiss is upon my lips, filling me with your Devine energy, It flows into each of my Chakras, making me Healthy and Sane. With you in my life, everything seems so far away and meaningless. Beautiful Goddess, you gave to me new reason, new understanding, an alternate love and way of life that nothing can surpass. You have awakened to me deep and hidden senses, beyond that which is known, and the real key to living forever. You have shown me something else other than that which already exists, that which was never right, never understood, that which the world kills itself in the name of. Thank you Beautiful goddess. Thank you for opening my eyes to new things, for aiding me in my studies.

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[Hello My SweetHeart, Undress, Pull away your Skin and Let me Really see You, Its what your Really made of Afterall, and Its so Very Beautiful, and Its so Very real and Uncomparable. Your so Beautiful. Your Not At All Like All The Others. When Im alone at night, all I think about is You, you and Your Kingdom, your Wealth and your Freedom. Take me away from Here, I demand you, I beg you, Please take me away. Your all I really want, All I ever Care to see, The only One Who knows me, My only Pleasure, Light and Soul. I would Spill my Guts for You, Eat myself Into nothing If only it Meant Being with You. If Kissing you Meant the End of All things, Then Everything would Be no More, your Lips, No, Your Whole being is A temptation I could Never fight. I must Have you My Dream woman, My Beautiful and Caring Apparition. I must Make you Into Flesh and Love you, to Be able to Touch you and feel you by myside.]

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1
He is so very special, so very beautiful, just like the one He belongs to. He wonders to himself, endlessly, "would I condem the world to Doom just to be with her?" Would he really? Could he really? He thinks of the Devine Three, the most powerful of all, the ones who imprisoned him within a Sun, broken peices, fragments of an all mighty force that used to be One, keeping him from her. He wishes to kiss her lips, to hold her tight, to feel her skin against his. He thinks to himself, "Why were we even made? We can not ever be together, so why should we exist at all?" Yes, why do you exist, Heshnine, why you and, Britanna, why are you, why was your love forsaken from the very begining?

Worlds away, she feels him, his sadness and hunger for her, his desire and hopeless thoughts of her. Britanna, left alone on a cold, dying world, no sun to give her light, only a darkness that she has always held as her own. If Heshnine is the sun, then Britanna is the darkness that surrounds him. Two lovers never to be, if ever they embraced, everything would be no more, the Devine Three included, so powerful, yet also so powerless if such a thing would ever come to pass. "Heshnine, My love, You are ever within my thoughts," Says the Beautiful goddess, her skin so blue and like Ice. "I tremble at just the thought of your hands upon my body, your fiery hold tight and comforting, my Head pressed against your Chest." If she was able, she would go to him, but her life force, it is one with the planet, if ever she was to fly away, she would fade into the darkness of space, never to be seen or heard of ever again.



*This next writing below is something Important to me. It is About my transformation into what I am now. Most will look at it and think I am a Satanist. It is not meant that way. It is about me being angry at a failed romance, feeling very, very alone and lost, and discovering the Occult, and describing it in the only way most of the world is capable of understanding it. As an evil, something Satanic awakening inside me. I believe that quite a few who follow my path can see my point, but for the rest of you, I wanted to make it clear what I was writing about, that its not about me truly accepting Satan or Darkness, but that which is how the world sees it. To me, I am awakening to a beautiful light coming from my heart, but for most, it can only be described as Darkness and Evil. I thought I approached this pretty well. no point trying to explain what the Occult really is to those who simply refuse to listen. So, to most of you who just dont get it, I suppose I am evil, and that I am a satanist... Which I am not. Ha, ha, ha.

[Hello Wonderful Self, just how are you today? I heard you ran home crying, Heard you Hoped someone would stop you, Someone interested and Worried about You, someone Real with No fake Intent, Someone with Nothing to Gain, Nothing of Want. I heard you cursed Her, I heard your Guardian Demon was Happy to Oblige, I heard you laughed for hours after burning that sheet of paper, that paper with such Hate filled words and cruel Mystic Arts. Dont worry, its ok bringing such rage upon such as she, Selling her soul to the Highest Bidder and watching Her burn, just as those Words burned, Sealing the Deal. Dont cry Me, tomorrow will be Such a beautiful Day, Azazel will make sure of it, His love is More than you have Known, his Gifts more than you have Ever been Rewarded. Let stress Be removed From your Heart, Let hatred become like Smoke, let it seperate and Become nothing with the coming of the Wind, let old Wounds heal For you have Faced them, let Nothing drag you Down, Let nothing Keep you from Greatness. Let his Will become your Own, let His arms Hold you and Keep you safe from All others. The darkness is nothing to be Feared, it is apart of you now, It is your Servant, Your Tool. You are the Master who Holds the Hammer, Striking down upon the Earth with all your Eternal might. Let satan awaken Inside you, Let him feel you, become Master of all the Demon world, become One with everything you thought Evil and Twisted, show yourself Everything that you can Be and Become it.]

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Must be Nice being you, So beautiful and Perfect in Almost every Way. They all Love you, they all Want you, Thoughts of You inside them is what makes Fantasy such a sweet Thing, so Addicting and Mesmerizing. What If they knew of What you did to me? What if they knew of The man you Were to Me? What if they Could see your Hands touching me, Those big Hands they want all over Them? What if they Knew of the pain That such a little thing would Create for such a confused and Idiot child? Would they Care, Would they Shed a single Tear? My Silence Has Only Destroyed Me. Thoughts of Others growing up just Like I did flood My mind And make me Scream in The night. I know I am not Alone, that there are others That I could have saved. But at the time I still saw you As a friend, never knowing the Feelings I would have later, the Sexual destruction done to me, the feeling of Hate I will always have for The people and the Worlds women, and A lifelong Hatred for Myself and all Like me.



[I see her In my mind. A child Of my Very own and Real Beauty and Pure. A daughter for Someone who Deserves nothing But misery and A life spent Alone. She Grips my Hand tight As we Walk alone Down a Field of Flowers, the Starry Sky above, All the infinite Possibilities Looking down upon us. Finally meaning In my Life and Real happiness. I am your Whole world, I am your Muscle that Fends off all Evil and Darkness. You Are my Angel, my Light, My Reason, You are my Princess.]

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1.
There was Once a Boy who Lived in a Small, little Room with no door, No way out what so Ever. However, in the Room, there was a hole in the Wall and Through it, was the World. The boy would try So many times to Crawl through the Hole, but when he did, It sealed up for days, leaving the Tiny room Black and Obscure. So one Day the Young boy decided it would Be best to Simply make his Own friends, Amazing friends That could visit him from an Amazing faraway Place of His own Imagination. He knew nothing of the World just Through that Hole in the Wall, nothing of the People or of their ways, So he had to make Everything up, the Rules, the People and the Land in which they lived, It was all made up by the Small boy and his Terrible Lonliness. 

The ones Who secretly Kept close Eyes upon him Began to Worry Heavy, for the reason The child Is kept Locked away is because he Posesses a great Power. Anything the child can Dream up, No matter how Crazy or Insane, Becomes reality, The People are Flesh and Bone, The world, Earth and Stone, The thoughts and Rules, Weaved together into a new World that exists alongside our Own, a Thin blanket of Mystical energy keeping The worlds Seperate and unaware of One Another. These mysterious People live Knowing all about the Many number of Realities that exist alongside our own, they Know the Horrible Danger that Is present Because of this Child. With each New Born Reality, More strain is Forced upon The mystic Vale, Tearing it more and more, until one day soon, The fabric will Rip Apart, Bringing the End of all Realities and the Universe along with Them. 

The child Was born of One of Their Own, The Mystical, Magical, Protectors of the Infinite Realms, He has been Kept in solitude as a form of Mercy, The hole in the Wall, A fatal Mistake that should have Never been. The council, Split down the Middle due to Personal Morality and Values, a Childs life in their Hands, His blood that may Very well be Spilt, In their Hands. Yet never before has Such a thing Happend quite like This, thousands of Years have passed since the Last time there was A child Born of their Own, thousands of Years which have softened many of their Hearts, a War, a Civil War, that has never Before been so Close to Happening, Not since the First days, the Days of Chaos and Destruction, The days of the Maker, A war to Decide which Road must be Traveled, and just which Choice is Truly Good and Just. Just What action is Truly Acceptable from those Such as They, Beings of Such power and us Flies who Have never Had a Voice in the Matter.

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I am Always thinking of you. You knocked on my window one early morning and dragged me out into the snow with you, my red Haired angel. We were children, I loved you, yet at the Time, I never knew. We fell into the snow and layed next to each other. The only perfect memory I Have, not corrupted by All that has Happend. I cry as I write this. I dont even remember your name. We were the best of friends and everyone called you my girlfriend. You are the only one who probably understands me. I was always overweight, even at that age, yet you cared about me dearly. One day you were gone. I wish I knew where you were. All us kids got a picture done with you, all of us, the gang. Do you still look at that picture and remember me? Do you think of me, as I think of you? I like to hope that one day we will meet somehow. And that you can love me. You always wanted to come into my room. For some reason, you wanted to clean it for me. I always said it was messy and that you couldnt come in and every time, you would say that. You would clean for me. One day, you slapped me hard right on the face. I wouldnt let you look at some toy I had. You hit me so hard. No one is like you. I wonder if you have become what women are today. I think about you more than any other and wish you were with me. Thank you for the only truly beautiful memories I have.

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Beautiful Venus, So Golden Bright, Bring me Your Love, Your Devine, Warm Embrace. Bless me this Day, Bless me in All that I do. Press your Lips against my Own and Fill me with Happiness and Bliss.

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[My Sweet, Young, Thing, Let me kiss every Beautiful Scar, every Flaw stretched out Upon your Flesh. Whisper my Name my Only dream Come true, Say you love me and Want only me, that there can be no Other who Can compare, no Other worth your Precious time.]

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You see me For what I am, Yet through my eyes Another is Looking upon You, something Beautiful and Dark, beneath my Skin and Hidden, it loves you, It wants you. Through me, Your within Reach and Available. Say that you Want it, say that you Need it, say that youd do Anything to please it. Its Beautiful and Dark, Worth Respect, Worthy of Your love, But are you worthy of Its? It wants to Use My Body and feel Pleasure, It wants to taste your Sweat with my Tongue. I love it Dearly, Its my Guardian, my Everything, My Dark Reality deep down inside Me.


Her skin is soft, warm, moist, sweet to the taste. Her moans are hard and often, her fingers in my hair, clutching tight. Sweat rolling and jumping, sweat slippery and glistening, her moans heavier now, deep inside, so hot and wild, so tight, so much pleasure, so fast our breathing. her kiss fiery, her touch teasing, her moves seductive, driving me closer to a feeling ive craved for so long, that feeling of her so very near, that woman i love, together we are in heaven. angels sing as we do dirty things, all eyes watch as we sin ... again and again.

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I was A monster to you Special Child, I hate myself for the way I was with You. You were different and I could not understand, I wanted all the others to love and accept me, I wanted to be cool. In truth, you are better than I shall ever be. All I can do is hope to earn your forgivness some day.